h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It's not a question of you putting yourself out for them. It is they who should be putting themselves out for you.

I wish you were my brother

Try these for size GB:

http://www.nhs.uk/CarersDirect/guide/transport/Pages/road-tax-exemptions.aspx

http://www.thetimenow.com/united_kingdom/grimsby/local_government-1057/north_east_lincolnshire_council-2057836

https://www.gov.uk/vehicle-exempt-from-car-tax

May be no use at all; but worth a try

'My brother who controls Mum's finances agreed to advance me £500 out of my future inheritance but then issued the same cheque to my older brother and my sister and himself.'

These sums are all wrong £500 should have been taken out on your mothers behalf to pay the necessary to keep her primary carer on the road. With all due respect this is not anyone's inheritance yet, it is your mothers money, keeping you on the road is a justifiable expense in her best interest, taking £1000 out to even out 'the tally' is outrageous

sorry £1500

Yes indeed. Theoretically, your brothers and sister still owe you that £500 for being a carer.

In practise they had no right to that money and so should give it back

HI GB, if you get Carer's Allowance, does your mum get the non taxable, non means tested Attendance Allowance as well? I don't think they are "overlapping" benefits (but they might be). This is paid straight to her and is either £54.45 or £81.30 a week - I think she'd get the higher rate. It's not means tested, no one checks up on how it's being used, it can be anything that helps her. It's based on the help she needs, not the help she actually gets, so transport would certainly come into it. http://www.ageuk.org.uk/money-matters/claiming-benefits/attendance-allowance-/what-is-attendance-allowance/

It may even be that in your own right you are entitled to claim the Personal Independence Payment, much the same thing at Attendance Allownace but for under 65s, given that you have had health problems in the past too and that a lack of car might make things worse. If your car keeps you independent then it's worth looking into? http://www.ageuk.org.uk/money-matters/claiming-benefits/personal-independence-payment/

And I drive a Hyundai i10, much the same size as a Ka. Road tax £30 a year. Less than a tank of petrol.

Also - and this is a long shot - I know you used to work for a bank, so are your still connected, such as with a small amount in a pension? If so they have benevolent funds that ex employees can apply to for small lump sum amounts. http://www.bwcharity.org.uk/ is one organisation, you'll probably have contact details from the bank you used to work for.

And since your dad was in the forces is there anything additional help or a lump sum your mum could apply for?

GB, I find it very frustrating that you and I are in a similar situation re: siblings. Neither of mine help out, although my older Sister did give me a one-off payment of £500 due to Mum not paying towards the bills etc. Since then, due to forms being filled in incorrectly, we are being fined £125 in overpaid Council Tax and Housing Benefit. At present I don't need a car, but have just been given a mobility scooter, than gets me around with my girlfriend. However, with my Mother's early-onset dementia, I could do with a rest, but neither Sister will come and collect her for even a weekend, which my Father and Step-Mum thinks disgusting.

Thankfully my Father has given me some money, so I could fix the scooter, and so my Girlfriend and I can have a weekend in Hull in three weeks.

I hope you get it sorted. There must be something, or someone, out there who can help. Can you not get a card via Motability, either in your own right, or via your mother? That would be cost-free except for fuel and road tax.

http://www.motability.co.uk

For example, one I was looking at is the Volkswagen Citigo, at £46.70 pw, all inclusive.

http://www.motability.co.uk/cars-and-wavs/volkswagen-up-take-up-739977?allowance_type=dla

I hope you get it sorted out. Best of .





MMF

I second what everyone says, especially Gnomon and Peanut.

It is not THEIR money, or YOURS until she passes on. In the meantime it should be used for her benefit and comfort, care and safety, and it ends up with nothing left... tough!

Keep digging for some help or extra care benefits for your Mum.

GB and MMF, I am thankful now that I was an only child because as sole carer I had not bitterness or frustration. Someone needs to put a up your respective siblings rear ends!!

Websailor

tbh, GB, I think you have to turn around to your mother's other children and give them their timetable for taking her to put the flowers in the cemetry, be the emergency contact etc etc

And if they can't accept that, give them brochures for 2 care homes and tell them to pick one.

You should not, and can not, carry all this yourself. Frankly, the car should be your mother's and at your disposal.

I went through all this in February, including mentioning how Mum used to help me with car costs before she became ill. This was news to my sister who actually said at the family meeting that she thought this was "generous" (it was £10 a week)

I looked into all I could claim last year as it all coincided with my being taken off Incapacity Benefit post-op from my two heart operations after being declared fit for work by the ATOS people. Although, I can't find a job

My sister knows how much I'm hurting. I went round to Mum's yesterday to shampoo & blow-wave her hair ready for the Curzon trip on Wednesday as I won't now see her until Thursday. Last night Y texted to say she had done the weekly shop for Mum and put it all away. She hoped I was ok.

I'm taking the car to the garage this morning, with all the paperwork.

GB Could you not sign it off the road for a bit?

It might sound silly, but maybe the citizens advice could help ? in knowing if there's any more "help/assistance" through the social services and other dept's etc that you/mam could be entitled to ?

Over at the Atelier, Pastey mentioned that he learned that pre1960s vehicles don't need MOT, and I *think* he said that there's no tax, as well.

but a pre-60s vehicle costs a fortune in upkeep and repairs and would need a garage. Not sure that's an optin for GB.

for GB I really don't know what I'd do

Thinking of you GB, it must be an awful wrench.

on the way to uncaring rellies.



Websailor

Yes, there's that...