h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*climbs onto Nyssabird and Xanatics side of the fence*

Is to too much to ask that every person can make their own choices ... pressure to do it is as loathesome as pressure not to do it ... when the time is right it'll happen - you may regret that perhaps the time wasn't as right as you'd hoped it would be, but let's face it, Que sera sera ...

Very good Ekki

I made a choice years ago that I was ready to have sex. Sadly it takes two to tango. And to do the horizontal mambo. But I was surprised at someone here, who felt that she was sort of expected to be pregnant with her second child at age 14.

You made a decision and so did she

I was just amazed that the teenage pregnancies in England were that bad.

Yeah....its always bad in England

I think it was here in Malaysia, where somebody suggested making it harder to buy condoms to avoid teens having sex. I don't think that would quite work.

That sounds like the most extraordinary piece of logic ...

I do remember being surprised when I came to Holland. In Denmark at pretty much every supermarket they have packets of condoms hanging at the counter. Probably so you can pretty discreetly put them on the belt. In Holland the only place I saw you could buy condoms was pharmacists. Seems strange for a country like that.

There are so man varities of condoms to choose from. I remember at one time you could get fruit flavoured condoms but I have not seen them since they first came out. Also you can have them different colours.

I will use this posting to plead to all under the age of consent 16 year olds girls and boys not to have sex. It is not cool, it does not mean your grown up infact if you think this is the most important thing in your life it shows immature you really are. It is not ritual you have to go through just to prove that you have grown up. Qualifications are more important than sex, sex/boyfriends/girlfriends wont help you get a job. Alot of teenage boys pressure girls into having sex becuase of they will say to their mates, calling them a lesbian, frigid etc. This is a type of bullying, these sort never use condoms. Wait until you are in a settled relationship and when your major exams are over. Have not you heard of the Stockholm Syndrome when the captive starts to co-operate and fall for the hostage taker, this also happens with sex, you think you are happy but you are not. Also think of diseases and unwanted preganicies and the emotional heartbreak of breaking up with your girlfriend/boyfriend. Schools should teach boys to be responsible and sensitive towards girls and not consider sex to be their right. Girls should be taught assertiveness so they avoid being intimidated into having sex under age, because that it is what I think is happening sort of legalised rape. Boys should be taught to respect girls and their feelings first and not treat them as a means to an end to prove their masculity. Boys and girls should be taught to respect their bodies (drink, drugs, sex). When someone asked me why had not a boyfriend I said you can not get a job with and employers are not interested in the amount of liaisons you have had. Girls and boys be friends with each untill your general education is over. One boy (did not have condoms) from school asked me but even with the amount of pressure he was putting on me. I did not think the risks were worth it and I hope this sane attiude will oneday be taught at school. They teach sex but nothing about self-control, self-respect and sensitivity towards the others feelings. If any thinks I am killjoy think of this what would you rather see children (and that is what they are) encouraged to grow emotionally at their own pace or have adulthood forced on them by society. Now for girls childhood stops at 8, that is how sick our society has become. It would be a good idea if puberty started as late as possible perhaps 18, for both girls & boys, Girls have never been so vunerable as they are now.

I might agree with some of the stuff you said about sex. But seems like an odd idea to not have any relationsships untill you've gotten your education. And just how long would you wait, untill after the phd?

Oops sorry

No I meant after your school education whether 16 or 18. Imagine if schoolchildren (teenagers) put the same amount of energy and time into their fixation with boy/girl relationships was put into astronautics we would have interstellar travel via warp drive or hyperdrive by now.

Please don't hit me with your handbag, or any Richard whiteley jokes, but I think you are asking the impossible.
By the time kids reach puberty, which is alot younger than it has ever been, the average age is now about 13, kids hormones take over.
They don't obsess with sex out of nothing better to do, it's a natural instinct that cannot be avoided.
You can't channel that energy into another place. Sexual energy has only one outlet... Sex. You can store it up until you are older, but doing so is surpressing a basic human instinct.

I agree with alot of what you say, and don't think you are a killjoy at all. We all have a responsibility to teach future generations to be responsible. But as soon as kids reach a sexually active age, we cannot stop them being sexually active.

The best way to handle the problem would be to delay the age of puberty. Which I believe wholly related to weight in females. I'm not suggesting we starve our kids, but if we can't accept juvenile promiscuity, delaying the exually mature age is the only way to curtail it.

I agree wholeheartedly on your views of peer pressure and boy pressure. Sex is a wonderful thing, it should never be undertaken for any other reason than love.

But I managed to control my feelings at 13. Girls who have low esteem are more likely to submit to peer pressure. I do not know at the age you would be capable of knowing if you are really in love. I am suprised any teenagers have any time with amount of homework and tests they have to do. Also boys should respect girls of who they are and not just for a cheap thrill te impress the lads.
I will close this dicussion but to remeber boys no means no and girls do not feel ashamed if ypu do not have a boyfriend or have had sex, pusue friendship first. Teenagers must be taught mutual respect and responsible behaviour. If they are going to have sex it must be for someone they love and they must be prepared to use contraceptives. For girls must remember to take the oral contraceptive pill on a daily basis and the right dosage and boys must be prepared to slways use condoms (I do not know which are the best to use.) Yes I do agree on what ypu said about not being able to stop them having sex, therefore contraceptives should be freely give with the appropiate medical advice and that it should more freely available at schools and all types of shops not just chemists.

I think you have highlighted the biggest flaw in puberty.
Boys want to have sex as quickly and as often as possible. Girls don't know what to do.
They are told of the dangers of unwanted pregnancy, but all the other pressure is still there.
Contraceptives are only half the battle, I wouln;t recommend all teenage girl take oral pills, they have too many other side effects. Condoms prevent transmission of STD's, as well as the obvious, but aren't the easiest things in the world to use for the uninitiated.

Respect is the part of sex that gets overlooked. But should be the deciding factor. Do not have sex at any age with someone you don't respect, or that doesn;t respect you.
Making contraceptives easier to obtain isn;t the answer, but they should be there when you need them.

Thank you for your thoughtful comments, I hope by airing this subject it may be of benefit to someone. It needs to be talked about as before it was swept under the carpet and ignored.