h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

i refuse to wear ties

.. I recently got a bright blue with silver dragons on it it comes from China .. a Chinese colleague explained that dragon patterned clothing is only meant to be worn by big people

there may be a translation issue here .. he either meant to say "important" people, "big" people, "heavy" people, "fat" people .. or maybe it's all the same word in Chinese

sorry, i just had to find this in order to mail it to my sister

where were we

ah yes, important and big - yes

shouldn't you have a tie with hippos on it instead

ah no no hippo-ties .. surely you don't run around with humans on your tie?

see?

if i had a tie there might be

fred flintstone for instance

..

no .. I had a quick look .. no images of anything living on my ties .. for some reason .. not even disney ties

I make up for that with my socks

i take it hippo socks are custom made?

yes, by a friendly member of the seamstress guild

oooh, i do hope she *is* friendly. those ladies can be fierce!

worst thing that can happen is that I end up with two right foot socks

or left foot socks

Interesting idea...

interesting? what's so interesting about it? hippos usually have two right feet and two left feet, yes?

and I have lots more

socks I mean .. not interesting ideas ..

well .. that is to say

I have lots of ideas

For a moment I thought you are a centipede.

maybe a cross between a centipede and a hippo?

not a bad idea, actually. spreading the weight on more legs. probably healthier for the joints

what on earth is wrong with my weight?

ask the earth?

What Pierce said.

I did .. it didn't answer

maybe it lost it's breath?