h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It's better to be in the Post than to have a post stuck in you.

I'm an atheist whisky drinking vampiredon't need blood,only whiskyand can't be got shut of with garlic or a cross

That's fine with me, because I'm too cheap to buy a cross, and I need all my garlic for cooking. But can I borrow a cup of whiskey for the beef stew I'm making?

sure!

eternal existence and all I need is whisky, I can live with thateven if it's only night shifts

Oh don't talk to me about whisky. I found a bottle of cask strength Edradour the other night. Shared a little with a friend. I've put it away again out of sight.

I'm safe! non of my friends drink shorts

Nor will I. Heck, I won't drink *anything* that you're kept in your shorts, prof.

well filtered though

Sorry, still not drinking it.

ah well, sells it to paint stripper company then

did somebody mention a stripper?

yep - big, hunky and male

Paint the stripper - is that a party game?

Strip the painter could be

Give a pint to the stripper and see what happens.

Will we ever see a -smiley, I wonder?

Well, they finally gave us a smiley. That can't have been easy to do.

Indeed, but making a real is even harder, I hear

Harder in the sense that it's totally fictional?

is it really?