h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'll never be slim slim... I'm not even so worried about what the scales may or may not say... but I'd definately be happier a stone or two lighter, for my height the 'ideal' weight (which I think is a lot of nonsense as a concept in some ways), oughta be about 11 or 12 stone, and I'm about 16 or 17 stone (I do vary a fair bit). I'd be happy being somewhere nearer to 13 or 14 stone, but really its more a matter of how I feel rather than what the scales say per sai : as it is at the moment reducing my waist size and ridding the 'gut' would be a nice start I can't as well as I used to you see

I think in my case it is because I no longer have dogs to walk, I'm certainly not eating more than I used to, probably less.

I've just come back from yet more Christmas shopping. This time with heaps of turron.(spanish nougat, special Christmas treat here) If I can't be skinny then everyone else will have to have expanding waistlines to match.

I bought some Canarian Goat's cheese, some Tirma chocolate, and some of their caramels, and even some Canary Tomatoes. I drew the line at the serrano ham, I just can't get into it. Even though the piggy's get to live in forests on a diet of acorns.

So, just a couple more things to get here, some local wine for instance and then when I get back to the UK, a few things for the children.

I have a 20kg baggage allowance, and am not taking any clothes back, so the suitcase might as well be used to advantage

I'll be there as soon as I can
Ooo I quite like the serrano ham; there are a few really good hams like* or the same as that, we can get over the road at teh deli place fantastically expensive, but just so differnt from your regular boiled ham or roast ham Mind, not that there is anythign wrong with them... the oak smoked ham from teh deli counter at Waitrose is a really nice trad sort of UK like ham which is just Mind I've got too used to the deli hams now and just can't seem to eat the pre packed stuff anymore, even though I used to when a student it just tastes... too chemically to me now although... strangely the pre packed salami I kinda prefer
Mind I do eat a fairly pecular mix of weirdly exotic organic hand made blah blah expensive food thigns, admixed with a fairly healthy.... that probalby isn't the right word... healthy mixture of total junk food damn I've only just had lunch and now I'm hungry again!

I just can't really enjoy air dried ham. Specially when I know it has been hanging in a cave (or cellar ) for 24 months. They are fantastically expensive - you can spend 125 euros for a leg of ham around Christmas. Maybe I'll just buy a few freshly sliced grammes to take to an appreciative person. or maybe not, as I think I might be arrested for ham smuggling. Its contraband! Well that settles it, I'll leave the raw ham here.

Oo yes they can be pretty pricey
I know some of the 24 month cured ham over the road at the deli is more expensive than I really can afford to pay out for something that... well doesn't last very long once I have bought it
But I do treat myself occsionally to it
Mind, its always a throw up between their rediculusly expensive hams and the simularly expensive cheese they have

Around here, Boar's Head is the brand that is supposed to be the best if you are looking for ham or turkey.

In reference to post 25
'Mind, its always a throw up between their rediculusly expensive hams and the simularly expensive cheese'
Where I live this would be read as
vomiting the expensive hams and cheese.
If we couldn't make up our minds we would call it a toss-up not a throw-up .

Oh, and Boars Head is the name of a local theatre troop that just ran out of money.

I find it hard to swallow the air dried ham, it has the same nauseous mouth feel to me as do oysters.


There's so many words in UK/US English that have confusing meanings/ Anyway - I have to go and sloosh more water off the balcony, as it has been pouring down again.

I must get around to organising the turkey and ham for our Christmas dinner. The ham isn't normally a problem as I can buy it now and cook it on the 24th, doing the honey-roasting on the 25th, but I'll get a boned and rolled piece of turkey as there are only 7 of us for dinner, and I'll have to order that, since turkeys become scarce at Christmas.

"If we couldn't make up our minds we would call it a toss-up not a throw-up ."

I believe it's called a tossed-up because you end up tossing a coin in the air...

Two nations seperated by a common language :
Got me the other day I was reading soem stuff, and it included the word 'pissed', as in 'he was really pissed'.... only I then thought to myself, heck he ought not be driving a car if he's pissed... but of course it was American and they ment* 'pissed off' quite a differnt meaning between the two really

I just love the texture and taste of some of the more lengthy cured hams... not all the time mind; Quite honnestly for all the expense it costs to buy the fancy contimnental type hams here in the UK, I'd rather pay a quarter the money for some simple organic farm assured Brittish hams... Yorkshire honey roast, oak smoked etc...
We always get a ham at Christmas curtasy of my Aunty who boils up a bunch of them for various people a few days before Christmas...

So how do you turn a boiled ham into a honey roast ham? (I'm guessing its somethign like liberally slap it about with some honey and then roast it... but surely not that* simple is it?)

It is basically that simple. It's best to trim the fat so that it is not too thick, then cover it with a grid of criss-cross lines cut into the fat. Cover the whole thing in honey, stick cloves into the intersections of the criss-cross, and roast it for a bit.

I'm tempted
We never manage to get through it all... It used to be a bit easier wehn we had the cat as she would eat it too to help use it up ahh... we can probably get the dog to eat some Mind, depends how many visitors we get over the festive period; Its seemingly not permisible to go to my Father's house and not be fed a plate of sandwichs once we're fully in the Christmas period so that useually gets some used up in time

I agree, that's how to do it A tip I was taught was to bring the gammon to boil, in plenty of cold water, then throw all this first lot of water away. This removes some of the excess salt.

Then fill the pan again with some fresh water, half a pint of cider, some cinnamon sticks, some cloves and some honey. Cook for about 45 mins (not too long as the ham goes tougher if you boil it too much) and then drain it, transfer it to the oven and finish just like Gnomon said.

I love this with homemade onion sauce.

You should slice any ham and turkey (that is unlikely to be eaten) whilst its still fresh and package it immediately in tinfoil for the freezer. Far too good for dogfood, although they do deserve some treats at Christmas.

I think mentioning cider in 2Legs's presence is a bit dangerous...

That's a good point, there's always leftover cider involved when you make this.

Ham flavoured cider you could pickle the ham in cider... and then have all the ham flavoured cider to boot
You know... this ust sound really dumb... but I don't think we've ever thought of just freezing half the Christmas ham and turkey Such an obvious solution

And the dog in question is crazy: it really does think its a human;
It has breckfast each morning; two rounds of toast with butter... I kid you not I nearly wet myself the first time I sat down to breckfast with the dog... and realised it was having the same as I was
I've seen it happily eat a bowl of spag bol.... curry... pasta in cheese sauce... whatever; roast dinner... it just seems to eat absolutely anything I swear that dog hasn't seen actual* dog food for years its being spoilt rotten mind of course

We had a dog like that once - it used to eat the children's leftovers. And then it got so used to eating human food that it refused to eat any dogfood whatsoever. It used to sulk terribly if we tried to convince it that dogfood was healthier for the creature. Silly woof.

It's favourite food as far as I remember was chilli - oh and curry. It seemed to love very hot spicy food especially. Maybe it was a chihuahua.