h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

you'll have to do one about baby sitting

01.00am 19/062007

The Caretaker


rain or shine your world is mine
do with it as you please
for when the day of your retribution arrives
nature will not exact her revenge
she will only smile
the lady is timeless unlike yourself
and the damage she will repair
all trace of mankind nowhere to be found
peace will return to the earth
once again to how it was before
rain or shine your world is mine
I am the eternal universe
the caretaker of it all

Ode to a Walrus named George.


I saw a walrus on television
he looked so lonely
I called him George
and asked if he wanted to be my friend
interactive television isn't all that cracked up as it's supposed to be!

A sad poem!

I thought I heard the telephone,
but all I got was the dialling tone.

penned 4/03/98

The comedian cracks a joke, someone laughs
it's the manager, he's already paid him
the comedian cracks a joke
it's fresh, so he fries it
the comedian cracks a joke
they did not laugh at it in Leeds
because he was in York and forgot to shout
the comedian cracks a joke
was brain surgery his second job
the comedian cracks a joke
the canned laughter's passed out
the comedian's shot himself, nobody laughed
the club is shut Thursday's

---------------------------
26/5/98

Hoist a loony
raise an idiot
elevate a nutter
uphold the berk
toss the dope
lift the dummy

"just nit pickin"

To kill a cold

I have a cold and as I try to kill the germs causing it,
As they are insignificant to my existence
Somewhere else, man is taking the life of another
For no more reason other than he doesn’t think the same as he
From prehistoric man to present day mankind
Our world has seen many changes
Some good, some bad, as life evolves
We learn more each day, but never put it to use
But now the globe is gripped by the greatest threat ever known
It has forms like Greed – Power – Envy
And is manipulated by many creeds and lifestyles
One word that will deny human life to exist in the next millennium or less
That word is HATE
It has been around since the time of man
But more or less kept a low profile
Only now in the 21st century where science fiction becomes science fact
Has it manifested out of all proportions
To engulf the world, tainting all life that breathes the air nature provides for free
But think of this my fellow man
Least you become singularly alone on this planet
What use is HATE when you only have yourself for company?
Don’t expect answers from the gods – it’ll be too late

A masterpiece


I scan the dictionary of my mind
For the words to write a masterpiece
A poem, a prose, a verse or just words
That will hit the big time for me
All that comes out are small time odes
I know that one is there within
As I try to catch it unawares
I sleep to trick it in to a lull
Suddenly awaken to trap it off guard
It’s as elusive as the Pimpernel
And outsmarts my every move
But with pen at hand
I’ll bide my time
To see if it falters for once
Then I’ll write my masterpiece
And show the world I caught it this time

Prof - I've just found this thread, and I think your stuff is amazingly, professionally, good. Starting with the very first poem on the thread.

Have you considered submitting some of your stuff to literary journals or your (perhaps reluctant at first) local paper? It's doubtful that you'd get any fee, but the satisfaction's really worth having.

There are lots of periodicals and publishers, (though comparatively few for poetry, alas), in The Writers' Handbook and what is now The Writers' Yearbook (I think - it used to be called The Writers' and Artists' YB) and also some in the back of 'How To Publish Your Poetry'. I may not be 100% accurate on these, so I suggest you ask your librarian, or others on this thread might know. There are also literary competitions. You can get these from the Poetry Society's website.

Jab

Thank you for your comments Jab

I've never gave it a second thought, I just write when something enters my headand see what comes outand when I came here to Hootoo, I just brought the ones I'd done with me as such, had a few in the post - along with daft stuff of course

so i can come back and read them all later.

mini

i couldnt sleep so i decided to come back and read, some of the stuff on here is very insightful and heartfelt, im scared to post my stuff here, its all rather superficial. vut give me a while and i will come round to the idea.

mini

as the fist post saysif poems/verse are your own and not copies, you are more than welcome to add them here Mini

fist postI'll try first post

You can try.. but you have to get past it first!

ha!

*giggles*

Lovely lady Lil
you always wear a smile
i think you are just brill
now we've been friends a while

Lovely lady Lil
and your little mat
by the window sill
withy yor little cat

Lovely lady Lil
your always here for friends
when we are down or ill
your shoulder you do lend.

mini