h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ken can do Kendo fighting and dance the can can as he is a very canny man.

But he's never as cunning as Izzy
or even as Ozzy, is he?

Oops, wrong thread

I'd spin you a long yarn, with at least one twist in it, but I keep losing the thread.

Tailors needle little something to catch the thread of a conversation.

After entering the sewing contest she was on pins and needles.

She wanted to be a weaver but there were always too many snags.

When the crocheter is learning how to crochet and is getting their dolly thread tangled up, "Its due to a chain of events which is what happens when bad strings happen to good people."

After the farmer's wife cut the tails off the three blind mice, a tailer sewed them back on again.

Must have been a retailer then

he used a large needle and rattan

Even the smallest egg farms are multi-layer organisations.

A tailor has a vest-ed interest in sewing up a profit.

This pun seams to be tailored for tailors because it always has them in stitches.

Sew what?

I sowed a field, only wanted a bed cover

You'll wake the flowers, which are in bed now.

Aunty Rrhinum is coming to tea

When the drummer moved back in next door there were many repercussions.

The quilt makers were going to launch a new style of quilts but they quickly put to bed the idea.