h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I guess its about time.

my walls are covered in small animals ? must be raccoon,densation

On Halloween, Mercury is in retrograve.

I was scrambling for another egg joke but I can't seem to whip one up. Guess I'm a bit fried from being over egg-cited (excited).

So it's ova and out?

It is time for the Doctor Who, the renegade Time Lord to regenerate. Even though the Time Lord can control time and space he is rarely arrives on time.

Rocket Raccoon sits on his rocking horse eating a rocket salad sandwich and listening to his favourite Elton John song 'Rocket Man' on his CD player.

Max Mercury runs to the max most of the time but when mercury is in retrograde, this is the time when he literally runs backwards which slows him down especially when he is wearing his retro classic mercury speedster costume.

If you are obsessed with Halloween, then you must have a ghoul-orientated personality. Do not worry, it is ghost to show you: Witch ever path you choose, zombie-body will disagree with you; maybe even your mummy.

A ghost in a cemetery is a grave sight.
A misspelt epitaph is a grave error.

Grave robbers get up to a lot of skulldiggery (skulduggery)

In Tombstone, Arizona, the outlaw cowboys day did not go O.K(ay) for them as they lost their fight with the Earp brothers. They died with their boots on and were buried at the Boothill Graveyard.

My grandmother married the son of a desperado. Her inlaws were outlaws.

my pets run away - no moose isn't good moose

The death row inmate got a reprieve at the last minute. When he was interviewed by a reporter, he said, "No noose is good news."

...the mooch in the hooch is gone?!....

A book with lists and descriptions of cats is called a Cat-a-logue.
A sailing boat used by cats is called a cat-a-maran.

An animal husbandry record kept by a dairy can be a cattle log.

a vinyl record could be a moo'sic one

Is a Korean prisoner drinking rum known as a con-jug-Asian?