h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[EVA] System is now online, thank you for your patience.
Recent deletions in maint. mode include: AxeBioScan.bsc
My system, don't screw with it...

Then don't try to delete core files.

[EVA] System integrity failure detected. Resuming maintaince mode. Estimated completion time: 24-48 hours.

EVA Maintenance mode cancelled. Thank you for your patience.

Oops, forgot that one...

hehehe...

*floats in upside down holding a sick bag not far from his face*

Err... hallo there, can I join please? I'll take whatever you have available... qualifications you say? err... *hands him the sick bag*

I´d ask about pilot, normally, but being the fact that you´ve got that barf bag three inches from your rapidly paling face, I´d say there are better positions. Our security guard recently moved to some obscure place he reffered to as Arh-Ell, so you can be his replacement if you´re up to it...

*a maintainence hatch at the bottom of the north wall opens slightly*

(Axe) Robert, I've got the security system disabled. Looks like no-one's around - I read no lifesigns in the last Galactic Month.

(Robert) OK. Where do we go now?

(Axe) Well, there's a root terminal behind the bar. I can connect to the GSV computers from there - it's got a small security hole that njan doesn't know about.

(Robert) Lets walk it then - I want to see what's so good about this place...

*both climb out of hatch*

(Axe) Come on, this way...

*as Axe approaches one of the doors, a small red light appears on it*

(Robert) Erm, Axe...

(Axe) It's nothin...

*the station lights turn red and a loud voice sounds out*

Intruders detected in Sector B-9. Halt and identify yourself immediately.

(Robert)

(Axe) EVA?

You're still online?

(Robert) Oh great. You screwed up again...

(Axe) Shut up, n00b. EVA, recognise systems designer, Axe Storm.

(EVA) Permission Denied. Systems Designer account has been terminated. Sending out security team to your location. Do not resist.

(Robert) Well that went well.

(Axe) Robert... disconnect. Now. You can't let CV see you - Justin hasn't disabled his Supervisory protocols yet.

(Robert) OK. I'll try and tweak the environment protocols for you... Disconnecting now...

*Robert disappears*

(Axe, to self) Now, CV, the ball's in your court... this should be interesting...

Hi Axe, Who would have thought I'd see you here? Let me guess, this would be mercenary business? *Pulls out Plasma Pistol.*

No, I'm a retired merc. This is, , personal. And won't be to CV's disliking (is that a word?). I just need a SHSS computer terminal...

*a appears out of thin air and hovers over Fred's head*

*CV wakes up to the sound of alarms* Eva, status?

EVA: User Axe attempted to access EVA computer system

Axe? I thought he was killed in that explosion...
Hold security protocols, key to the button.
Loudspeaker access CV.

[speaker] Axe, what the hell are you doing here? State your business and I might disable the security protocols.

THEY GOT A < towel >? YAY!

*appears in the center of the room, predictiably using a ship-based teleporter, just like most of the rest of normal space (which, interestingly, doesn't include h2g2space )

*glances left and sees some guy looking worriedly at the floor

*glances right and sees someone else with a towel hovering above their head

*stares at the loudspeaker, waiting for more techie gibberish to spew out of it

Fine...

*sits in the corner and starts maintaining his blast pistol

I'll just sit here while you people shout protocol at each other...

*finally gets around to removing Metaki from the "Kill On Sight" list*

*ponders the usefullness of a crippled bouncer*

*assures the 'shroom that she's still quite useful* You can clean off all the cobwebs around here!

Charming