h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Would you continue it, then... I wanna see what happens!

Have done. Any questions (is it confusing?)

*sits down, activates Winamp and diverts its 'output' to his earphones*

*opens up his holo-imager and opens up a few textfiles. After running them through a translation filter (which turns the text into quantum code so he can read it quicker), he begins reading*

*opens up an output channel through the network*

*closes the channel*

Is on board the Tripwire, for plotline reasons

[EVA] Incoming remote connnection. Authenticating... Done. Running user commands: ECHO OFF

.../home/axe files moved.
...Filespace secure wipe complete.
...Account 'Axe Storm' deleted.
...
*loud noise*
...All computers in this room... selfdestructed.

Loading EVA (copyright Axe Storm) uninstaller
Uninstalling. Done. Activating standard computer interface. Done
User commands complete.

[Computer] Incoming remote connnection. Authenticating... Done. Running user commands:

Loading LiteStep (copyright Axe Storm) uninstaller
Uninstalling. Done. Activating standard computer interface. Done

Resetting Admin password to CV's user account password... Done.
Resetting other changed passwords... Done.

System restore complete. Program Axe-7 (variable 'Axe') complete. This room will self destruct in 3... 2... 1... BOOM!!!

*the room disappears*

THIS CONVERSATION IS NOW CLOSED. ANY FURTHER POSTINGS WILL BE IGNORED AS BREACHES OF THE LAWS OF CONTINUITY. HAVE A NICE DAY. UNLESS YOU'RE CV.

*a bunch of SHSS dwarves come in and clean up around the place*
*they also put up some severe environment sheilding*
*they all vacate (and you should too)*
*a robot comes up from the core and dumps all of the SHSS's nuclear waste inside*

EVA, admin access 21:10 6/15/02 *********
[EVA] Admin access granted. Please make all modifications on a text-based terminal.

DEL subnet axe-personal
subnet axe-wireless
subnet axe-PDA
subnet Tripwire
subnet Trip-res-hanger
subnets *axe*
user Axe Storm
users *axe*
users *storm*
users *robert*
users *wall*
add subroutine-security
IF deleted user *axe* *storm* *robert* *wall* logon, THEN activate protocol CV-497
(CV-497 is an immediate destruction protocol aimed at terminal-based access)
IF Axe Storm enters shss, THEN activate protocol CV-495
del users *Krans* *Njan* *mercenary*
del subnet mercwarroom
subnet merc
subnet merc-personal
all subnets created by above deleted users
write zeroes to all data deleted
logoff CV admin