h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

When choosing your clan's unique tartan
Find one with some abstract art on
But be careful with Pollock's

When choosing your clan's unique tartan
Find one with some abstract art on
But be careful with Pollock's
Or you'll shatter your rowlocks

I shall resist the obvious, in order spare the blushes of the fairer sex
However it does restrict one's options..............


When choosing your clan's unique tartan
Find one with some abstract art on
But be careful with Pollock's
Or this could get prolix

When choosing your clan's unique tartan
Find one with some abstract art on
But be careful with Pollock's
Or this could get prolix
And we prefer something more Spartan.


The Greeks had a word for it, I'm told

The Greeks had a word for it, I'm told

But to mention it here one must be bold.

Afternoon Pol


The Greeks had a word for it, I'm told
But to mention it here one must be bold.

'cos if Euripedes tights

Hello Thutmose.

The Greeks had a word for it, I'm told,

But to mention it here one must be bold.

'cos if Euripedes tights

We'll extinguish the lights.

The Greeks had a word for it, I'm told,

But to mention it here one must be bold.

'cos if Euripedes tights

We'll extinguish the lights.

and practice a new wrestling hold.



There's a chap over there in a dinghy

There's a chap over there in a dinghy

And he's waving a long scarlet thingy.

I'm so sorry, Thutmose, for spoiling things for you.


Polly

There's a chap over there in a dinghy
And he's waving a long scarlet thingy
Is he showing distress?

There's a chap over there in a dinghy
And he's waving a long scarlet thingy
Is he showing distress
In a state of undress?

There's a chap over there in a dinghy
And he's waving a long scarlet thingy
Is he showing distress
In a state of undress?
Dunno - but those boxers are sure clingy.


While reading a book on the train

While reading a book on the train
a sudden thought ran through my brain

While reading a book on the train
a sudden thought ran through my brain

I could jump out the window

While reading a book on the train
a sudden thought ran through my brain
I could jump out the window
But where would my book go?

While reading a book on the train
a sudden thought ran through my brain
I could jump out the window
But where would my book go?
I sighed and then sat down again.

When we got to the very next station

When we got to the very next station
I experienced some jubilation

When we got to the very next station
I experienced some jubilation

For I saw, with a start,

When we got to the very next station
I experienced some jubilation
For I saw, with a start,
A branch of WallMart