h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

They've got ostriches down on the farm
As the villagers heard with alarm
But heads in the sand
They did what they'd planned

They've got ostriches down on the farm
(So the villagers heard with alarm).
But heads in the sand
They did what they'd planned~
And all at the fete remained calm.




Claude~sitting in his pram one day,

Claude~sitting in his pram one day,
Espied a cat, wanted to play

Claude~sitting in his pram one day,
Espied a cat, wanted to play
He threw him his dummy

Claude~sitting in his pram one day,
Espied a cat, wanted to play
He threw him his dummy
But got much too chummy

What a relief, to be back to one lim


Claude~sitting in his pram one day,
Espied a cat, wanted to play
He threw him his dummy
But got much too chummy
Amd ended up as pussy's buffet


An old hippy biker called Thut

An old hippy biker called Thut

Found his front wheel had got in a rut

An old hippy biker called Thut (are you???? )
Found his front wheel had got in a rut
He cursed and he swore

Janec: yup, 's me

An old hippy biker called Thut
Found his front wheel had got in a rut
He cursed and he swore


With a vocab. hardcore

An old hippy biker called Thut
Found his front wheel had got in a rut
He cursed and he swore
With a vocab. harcore
But soon wished he'd kept his mouth shut

---------

Because....

Overheard by a beautiful maiden

Overheard by a beautiful maiden
Who found the whole thing so degradin'

Because....


Overheard by a beautiful maiden
Who found the whole thing so degradin'

That she put in ear plugs

Overheard by a beautiful maiden
Who found the whole thing so degradin'
That she put in ear plugs
Said "I don't go near drugs"

Overheard by a beautiful maiden
Who found the whole thing so degradin'
That she put in ear plugs
Said "I don't go near drugs.
Or at least, I'd need some persuadin'"


This traffic's backed up round the block

You may need to do this with a calypso lilt
(and do you mind if I add a syllable to the first line, Thut?)

This traffic's backed up around the block
There'll be rivers of blood, warned Enoch

<<(and do you mind if I add a syllable to the first line, Thut?)>>
Be my guest W....

This traffic's backed up around the block
There'll be rivers of blood, warned Enoch

If that berk in the Porsche

This traffic's backed up around the block
There'll be rivers of blood, warned Enoch
If that berk in the Porsche

Would only drink up his borsch

The traffic's backed up around the block
There'll be rivers of blood, warned Enoch
If that berk in the Porsche
Would only drink up his borsch
This snarl-up might finally unlock

Oh, sorry, forgot to start another one


I'm so glad it's the end of the week

I'm so glad it's the end of the week
Such a good time to play hide and seek