h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Never trust a smiling traffic warden.

Used car dealers.

Never trust the shop's changing room mirror - you're shorter, fatter and pastier, than it shows and you know it.

Never trust anyone. That'll cover it!

Never trust assassins

Never trust someone on the phone who, within a few seconds of the call starting, says "Is it alright if I call you by your first name?"

Never trust someone who gives you the wrong amount of change

...people who post two times in a row to hog the conversation..

...and then arrogantly change the title for no good reason

Never trust people who subliminally sneak Elvis into the conversation

I don't really like elvis
*Looks of horror surround Nick_Em*

Never trust anyone who says they are charismatic

Never trust a person who says they're ready for a relationship, but talks non stop about his/her most recent ex.

Never trust someone who cheated on their partner with you.

Never trust suspicious men in dark corners whispering madly about taking over the world

Never trust sheep.
But surely sheep aren't people?

Never trust anyone who carries a large bag everywhere they go

Never trust someone who keeps poking you whilst making a point

Never trust people who repeat themselves.
Never trust people who repeat themselves.
Never trust people who repeat themselves.
Never trust people who repeat themselves.
Never trust people who repeat themselves.
Never trust people who repeat themselves.
Never trust people who repeat themselves.
Never trust people who repeat themselves.
Never trust people who repeat themselves.
Never trust people who repeat themselves.
Never trust people who repeat themselves.
Never trust people who repeat themselves.
Never trust people who repeat themselves.
Never trust people who repeat themselves.
Never trust people who repeat themselves.
Never trust people who repeat themselves.
Never trust people who repeat themselves.
Never trust people who repeat themselves.
Never trust people who repeat themselves.
Never trust people who repeat themselves.
Never trust people who repeat themselves.
Never trust people who repeat themselves.
Never trust people who repeat themselves.

Never trust your computre

Never trust anyone who cannot spell computer.