h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Never trust a sober Irishman!

<lurk

Never trust a well-groomed politician.

Particularly if their lips are moving.

Never trust a messageboard user who you barely recognise to advise you about another messageboard user who you know a lot better.

Never ever trust a civilian man with very shiny shoes

Never trust a hairdresser to understand standard units of length or the word "no".

never trust the indicators on an oncoming vehicle

Never trust a food vendor who replies "No, but there's lots of seasoning in it." when you ask him or her if it contains an ingredient to which you are allergic.

never trust a satnav

Never trust a beautician with bad skin

never trust a smiling traffic warden

Never trust a cabbie who asks you for directions.

never trust a friend who asks you for your pin number

Never trust a man who swears he'll call you.

never trust a woman who says 'nothing' when asked whats wrong

Never trust somebody who answers "have we got a deal?" with "I'll see".

never trust a double glazing salesman

Even the doctor?

Never trust the directions given you by somebody who finishes with "you can't miss it".