h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I have my nose and wristband ready for Red Nose Day. I'm letting the nose air for a few days to get rid of the smell. Why are the noses made from a substance that stinks?

Captain Marvel drinks milky coffee drinks with dried milk powder.

Some days I don't if I am coming or going.

I don't care what they call the shape of my orange peel. It's an elephant. Plus, it is the most efficient way to peel it in one piece.

The stratosphere temperatures are much colder than average.

Is a mite chilly at that, and I'm below sea level.

Simba, my cat loves to watch cat videos.

On Saturday there will be wet and windy weather in most places accept for the far Northern in Scotland, Northern Ireland, Northern England and parts of Wales which will be getting snow.

They came, they saw, they conquered with their laughing and then left.

If it wasn't for the weather a lot of people wouldn't be able to start a conversation.

I enjoy going attending art and craft groups and talking to others as I practice my social skills.

Bright and sunny at 8am, grey and cloudy by 9.30am. I bet it will be windy later.

I drink water with drops of lemon juice.

Drinking tea at boring coffee mornings can be quite funny.

There goes the ozone layer...

I have an old, bricked tablet that I'd love to get working again, but none of the necessary files are available any more.

The morning forecast said it would be dry in London and the South East but it was the opposite as there was light to moderate rain fall in South Ockendon. Last Sunday it Forecasted South Ockendon to have light rain but it turned to be a lot heavier than forecasted.

Stating the blindingly obvious.

I have got a sore throat.

The wrong party won the elections (Again. Although it was a different wrong party this time)