h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Don't panic! Just pretend we're dancing. What's the band playing?

Sorry - my mind went blank for a moment

Don't bother, Kes, lets just keep on dancing like this...

* lurches in the other direction, dragging Kes along with her

* unless simulpost decrees otherwise, of course.

Oh! We are dancing! ... or some approximation thereto .. Hey! This is neat.

*Thinks up a sweet nothing to whisper into Peaceful's ear*

Er, d'you come here often?
Oops! Sorry about your shoe!

* But simulpost does have its musical propensities, there's a certain random quality to it...

You dance beautifully, Kes...

*They have reversed into a corner, and are stuck*

This is better - just keep still and let the room rotate round us. I could dance like this all night.

*Remembers a song - opens mouth - fortunately forgets it again*

* giggling

* takes off other shoe and throws it

* somewhere

* luckily, no one was hurt...

Ah! dancing is wonderful!

* lurches in two different directions at the same time, in an elegant, simulpostique manner...

* dragging Kes along, again.

I think my arm has gone to sleep. Do you mind if I ....

I never knew this could be so exciting...

You alright, Kes?

Has all this dancing been too tiresome?

Want to sit down?

*The band has found a piece to match the dance.
*Well, things don't always happen the usual way here ...

Left a bit, Peaceful - mind the puchbowl.
You seem to be a couple of inches shorter ... not that I mind. How do you do that?
CRUNCH
Ah! sorry about your foot - I see now.

Mind the pizza
SQUELCH
Too late - never mind.

This is most ... romantic, isn't it

*Lurch to the left ...*

*All motion is relative. A chaise longue approaches the couple, collects them and sets them down conveniently beside a loaded champagne bucket*

Yes, Peaceful, let's sit the next one out.

* counter lurch, they almost fell down,

* more pizza is decimated.

Ah, don't we dance wonderfully? Isn't this wonderful?

* what are they playing, by the way?

* PE noticed that she hadn't been dancing for some time...

* that was a really intoxicated earthling there, gazing at the champagne, watching the ceiling turning in so many interesting ways,

Champagne would be very nice!!! Yes... did I hear you say something about money to TCO, Kes?

Money! Grief! No! *Panic*
POP! *fizz, gurgle, spray - reminiscent of end of Grand Prix race*

Don't worry about money at a moment like this ...
Have some champagne ...
Did I ever tell you how beautiful all your eyes are?
Damn! Both of them .... beautiful ... and the eyes.
More champagne? Oh I already said that. Have some anyway.
Here's to us!

* Sips a lot of champagne, as no one is looking and Kes isn't paying too much attention.

Here Kes, have some more!

* with simulpost always looming in the horizon, PE says,

Wannna dance sshome more, Kesssshh?

* through a mist of alcohol and simulpost, his words are finally registered in PE's brilliant mind.

Both? How kind of you to notice!

I like your eyes too!

They are nice, and there are two of them now... at least there were... nice twinkling eyes...

Yes, two beautiful twinkling eyes... sparkling like this delicxhshshsious xcchchchampagne!!!

*Who could resist such a poetic invitation? Well, Kes couldn't, for a start*

Yesh! Band! BAND! Play shomething Shmooth and SCHmoochy!

*They're off! Kes's left hand holds her right hand - high in the air, their arms entwined. Kes's right hand is about six inches lower than where the ballroom dance instruction manual indicates it ought to be*