h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*waking, stretching, yawning in armchair*

Good night, PE!

Good morning, Babe!

Waiter, un café mélange, s'il vous plait!

*noticing the armchair has stopped rocking*

*sounds of a volcano about to erupt......

*bangs loudly on the door
KES!
KES!!!!!!!!
You asked for a minute to find your briefs!!!!!!!
My time is precious, IF you don't MIND!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Emerges from room, trying to walk and put sock on at same time*

Right! Sorry for the delay. Did you get my shoe?
Great! Let's get down to it, er , as it were.
Would you care to come and sit over there, round the corner, where you can't see the door - I mean it's rather an ugly door, don't you think ..
Er ..

Look, just between you and me, that lady in the rocking chair - I don't think her eyesight is too good, or her memory, so there wouldn't be any point in you asking her ... er, well, anything really.

Now, what aspect of the case do you wish to discuss?
A plea bargain? An out of court settlement?

Hmmmmmppppppp!!!!!
*GB follows Kes to the sofa round the corner
There they sit, confering in whispers for the next several hours, comparing briefs

*As Peaceful creeps quietly from the room, carrying most of her dance dress and a slice of pizza (veg) ...*

Now about your start witness - that scientist woman - you know ... oh the name escapes me for now - . Do you intend to take more evidence from her, or are you moving to fresh witnesses? I'm sure you agree that would be wise?

*finding the party a bit too quite for her at this time of day? night?*

Good bye all!

See you later...

*drifting off*

Yes, I see what you mean, moving onto fresh witnesses would be wise...
When do you think I should start grill... I mean, interro...... er, interviewing them, Kes?
*flutter of eyelashes

Something wrong with your lashes, GB? They seem to be wobbling up and down a lot.

Now I know we shouldn't discuss this specific case, as we have a clear conflict of interest, but in a hypothetical case, with multiple plaintiffs participating in a competition, well, in your position (cough) I'd be calling every Survivor I could. If the jury see all of them, then there's no doubt (reaonable or otherwise) that they have seen who would have won - and got the money. The downside to that is that so far, your witnesses have cracked whenever MK looks at them.

Also (hypothetically, of course) you need to have two alternative closing strategies. If you (hypothetically, of course) fail to establish that MK was totally evil, I'll simply go for reasonable doubt that he was acting in everyone's best interests. If you do establish him as evil, I'll be going for the old "Good and Evil must co-exist" routine - you'd have to be ready for both.

Finally, how are we going to get the money back, I mean your scientist witness - the one whose name I can't remember (but whose lipstick is all over my face) we really owe it to her to get both the millions back ... not that I favour one plaintiff over the other, you understand ..

Yes well, we'll move on.

Now, during my defence case, I suggest that you ........ (Whsiper, whisper) .....

GB - you haven't got a tissue, have you? My face seems to be a bit sticky with something ...

*Tweet appears in a puff of pink smoke, in front of the two Saints*
*She's wearing a crimson leather skirt, and black backless hankie top*
*She's also showcasing a rather lovely evil grin*
Hello you two
You're needed back in court- MK's back in the stocks
*hands Kes a bright blue pill*
This'll sober you up.
*grins at Kes' disappointed look*
Well yes, I rather think MK deserves a drunken lawyer too, but I believe he would object...
*turns to grab a glass of punch*
*realises something and spins back round*
What are all these briefs doing lying around the place? You'd better sort them out before you get back...
*Sways off into the crowd*

*GB smiles
Kes, wasn't that punch spiked?
I mean, if the Judge is incapable, the trial can't go ahead, can it?
Kes: Er, no, GB.
Right, then, we should be okay for a few hours, fancy a spot of sunbathing at a Private Beach I know?
Before Kes can even answer, GB grabs his hand, Kes grabs his briefs with his free hand, and they fly out of the window....leaving just a couple of Angel feathers fluttering to the floor....

*yawns and returns to the party*

Whoa! Were you guys up all night? It's only 8 am here...

*has some pizza and ice cream for breakfast and hopes that PE doesn't think she was trying to steal kes last night*

...it's amazing how the busiest forum in all h2g2 can die down so fast...

*grin* it happens...

*floating in, in her usual v.e.l.manner, noticing there's at least somebody around now*

Good evening, all!

Waiter, a Y of champagne, please!

evening, titania, even though it's morning where i am...

Well, hallo sea!

Was that you that put up on ad on the Noticeboard about you-know-what-it's-in-your-name?

Waiter, another Y of champagne, please!