h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Don't worry, you don't have to sign on for the GalArmy if you just want to try out these babies. This forum will act as the coms unit for all the ships. Fell free to fly them right out of this area if you want. You can go blow up some Vogons if you want, too!
Each ship is equiped with a small tracking device, by the way, so you can't just knick 'em. But if you do manage it, I'll have to praise you for intelligence!
Have fun!

*stumbles in from getting over the loss of all the tea in the labs and wonders around sobbing.* Hmmmmm.....*notices he's stumbled into the hanger with a bunch of very expensive, (or very cheap with a very espensive paint job) space crafts* Oh baby, i gotta tell the rest of the guys about these...*runns back out the door and yet again finds a way of slipping and falling on his butt*

*pure and utter silence*

OK people, here's the thing: the time till voting in the h2g2 Virtual Prez Elections is almost up, and it simply wouldn't be fair if you didn't have a quick glance at my policies. Right, here are a few pages you *must* see:
My Campaign page:
http://www.h2g2.com/A402742
An apology and a commitment:
http://www.h2g2.com/A417421
Something that went terriby wrong:
http://www.h2g2.com/A414181
Please, please, please go and have a look at those pages! It is vital so you get the right impression of my intentions as President!
Please, all you people who regularly come to this 'station, and help me work it, all you people who aren't bothered to vote, or can't choose who to vote, VOTE ME!!!


- Pr. C. Tonks

[Mew takes six GalArmy ships and loads them onto a starfighter carrier, which goes into hyperspace]

Wait a moment!

*the Carrier fails to leave the hangar until the barrier is lowered*
*Pr. C. Tonks activates the now dusty control console and lowers the force-barrier*

Ah, some Ships gone at last! Good I can keep track of them, and they can't leave this galaxy...

*after leaving the room a day ago, he comes back in, and opens the doors to the Private Hangar Bay, where his Ship, the Smallcy, awaits their departure for San Beta...*
*a figure follows him in*

*the figure drops her suitcase & gets down on her knees to beg to come along on the trip *

*turns round*
What the?! What are you doing here?
This is a business trip you know...and you won't have much to do...
but you can come along if you can accept the bordom of politics...

*allows her to climb aboard, performs checks to see that no one else is aboard (and no one is...), and finally takes off.*
*the majestic Ship climbs up in the space in the hangar, and promptly zooms out of the hangar through the force barrier, and turns a corner...*

[In an obscure starfield, strange knocking noises are heard. Then, a burst of hammering and sawing noises. Something gets punched, and there is a brief blast of static. SPROING. A rumbling, creaking noise is heard, and after a moment, an absurdly modified starfighter carrier flies into view. It has been painted a light shade of red. Emblazoned on the front is a black silhouette of a cat's head. It turns around and enters hyperspace...]

*the Computer hums away quitly to itself until it detects the Carrier in the distance*

[Owned Carrier class vessel detected. Logging info. Multitude of modifications detected on vessel. It is found that all modifications can be undone. No hostile reclaiming is necessary at present. Tracking vessel's progress through hyperspace...]

*The voice of the Space Station Computer is heard through the PA system of the entire 'station.*

[Attention all Space Station residence, employees and visitors. I am to announce that the owner of this vessel, Pr. C. Tonks, has left the Station for the week. He will return during the next Earth week. Until then, I am in full command of this vessel, and everyone is to comply with my instructions. Naturally, if everyone behaves in a normal fashion, no extra oders will have to be issued.]
[Thankyou. Have a nice day...]

*The force-shield for the Private Hangar Bay begins to flicker as the Star Ship Smallcy comes in to land. It settles down all very quietly, and its ramp descendes, with Pr. C. Tonks walking down it.*
*Eomando follows close behind...*

Ah, back at last eh?
You ought to fill in and be filled in by your counterparts!

*Decides to head straight to his living quarters...*

[Sir, welcome back. You presence has been missed.]
[Welcome back also, subject Eomando.]
[Sir, there is much for me to report. I will prepare your room for rest...]

Thankyou Computer...
Right, I'll be seeing you then E...

Where are my counterparts though??

*looks around & see's her 2 other selves standing at the back waiting for her*

Oh..OK then..

*wanders off dragging a suitcase full of useless gifts from San Beta to give to everyone in sight as soon as she gets over the space ship-lag... *

[There is a sensor-blank spot at the last known location of the starfighter carrier Mew took, as if a sensor jammer has been activated. The sensor-blank spot splits into seven pieces and heads out of the galaxy, toward the galaxy known as "Infinity" and a planet with the unlikely name of "Beyond"]

[Beeoop. Tracking block detected. Bipassing...]
[Tracking continued.]
[The detection of any hostile undertaking will result in the return of the Carrier.]
[The Carrier is owned by Pr. C. Tonks, and anything owned by hi is copletely under *his* control...]

[Mew has gone to the forum in The Saving the Galaxy Effort A303229.]

[Suddenly, the connection to the starfighter carrier is lost. Telemetry indicates an explosion. But something is wrong...]

[Attention! Owned vessel detected as destroyed.]
[Despatching probes...]

*six probes lift up from their spots in their hangar, and zoom off to the last coordinates given....*

[Five of the GalArmy ships return]

[Assuming remote control...done. Preparing for check-up...]