h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: The Battle of Turnham Green 1642 - A21609119
Author: Bob Stafford (Keeper of The Treacle Shadow) - U3151547

This has been here before so I hope iit ready for a return from the flea market. please comment

This is a good article, and very informative and well-researched.

It could do with something up-front about what makes Turnham Green unique - for the first half of the article, I didn't realise it was any different from any other Civil War battle (I guess my history sucks).

There are quite a few typos or grammatical 'idiosyncracies':

Then went to Oxford 29 October, and set up his capital, King Charles then attempted the capture London. - Then King Charles went to Oxford on 29th of October, and set up his capital. He then attempted to capture London.

One list has full stops, the other doesn't.

Coronal John Hampden's - Colonel? This is repeated later, so perhaps it's not a mistake?

The Parliamentary delegation who was still with the king , was prepared to agree a truce, but when the news of the attack on Brentford arrived the House of Commons mobalised the forces of London. - The Parliamentary delegate, who was still with the king, was prepared to agree a truce, but when the news of the attack on Brentford arrived the House of Commons *mobilised* the forces of London.

Exaggerated as reports reached London - As exaggerated reports reached London

On 13 November, Essex army under Coronal Skippon, left London with the Parliament army and London Trained Bands formed its core a total of more than 24,000 men and blocked the kings advance - On 13 November, Essex's army under Colonel Skippon left London with the Parliamentarian army and the London Trained Bands. A total of more than 24,000 men blocked the kings advance

the Kings Army - the King's Army

village of Turnham Green, by what - village of Turnham Green by what

Essex's Army and the London Trained Bands formed its core, - repeated from above (I have already suggested you remove the first occurence)

fight heartily, it was a Sunday. - fight heartily, although it was a Sunday?

been, "unsettling", - been unsettling

sight seers - sight-seers

Ruperts cavalry - Rupert's cavalry

London remained in the hands of Parliament, the King had lost his best, and as it proved last, chance of taking the capital and its port, he had to retire westward, first towards Hounslow and then towards Reading, Prince Rupert was put in command the rearguard covering the Kings retreat. - You don't fool me! This is two sentences standing on each-other's shoulders in a trenchcoat! You could try: London remained in the hands of Parliament; the King had lost his best (and, as it proved, last) chance of taking the capital and its port. He had had to retire westward, first towards Hounslow and then towards Reading. Prince Rupert was put in command of the rearguard covering the King's retreat.

However Essex army did not leave London and follow the Kings retreat. - However Essex's army did not leave London and follow the King's retreat.

Later he occupied Oxford, he made this his capital and headquarters for the rest of the war - He already did this at the start of the article.

by taking Windsor, which was to remain headquarters of the Parliamentary Forces for the rest of the War, Maidenhead and Henley on Thames - by taking Maidenhead, Henley on Thames and Windsor, which was to remain headquarters of the Parliamentary Forces for the rest of the War

The change that this battle brought about was the dissatisfaction with the way Essex handled the battle, led to the bill called the Self Denying Ordinance in 1645 that rid the army of officers from both the house of Lords or Commons, the bill also allowed the establishment of the New Model Army in 1645 perhaps the most important change of all. - A change that this battle brought about was dissatisfaction with the way Essex handled the battle, leading to the bill called the Self Denying Ordinance in 1645 that rid the army of officers from both the House of Parliament. The bill also allowed the establishment of the New Model Army, perhaps the most important change of all.

Sorry it's such a long list, especially as they are minor points in an otherwise excellent entry.

Gif

Hi Gif

all done please have a read

Bob...

oo, it's back here now!

Nice job, Bob

Think Mr Giford has highlighted much of what I noticed - looks good now

Lets hope its good enough

Hi Bob,

That's a lot better.

Could stil ldo with a note at the start pointing out that this was notable for being possibly the most decisive non-battle in English history.

Footnote 1 doesn't need a space before it.

You still have 'Parliamentary delegation who was' - 'delegation' is plural, 'was' is singular. It should be 'delegate' or 'were', depending how many people we are talking about.

Also contains a cut 'n' paste error: 'Prince Rupert was put in command of the rearguard covering the King's retreat. However Essex army did not leave London and follow the Kings retreat. - However Essex's army did not leave London and follow the King's retreat.' You need to delete the middle sentence, and preferably not have 2 sentences ending 'king's retreat'.

Other than that, there are a few commas that need twiddling with:

London Rupert’s - London, Rupert's

November Prince Rupert - November, Prince Rupert

Colnbrook, (about - no comma

so as they tried to escape; a large number of Holles men drowned trying to escape across the Thames - Holles' men

Turnham Green, by possibly - no comma

Bands3. formed - no full stop

citizens army - citizens' army

and, local - no comma

recorded, unofficially - recorded. Unofficially

Parliament 120, this - Parliament 120; this

from the east, via loyal Kent was not - from the east, via loyal Kent, was not

became a, "stand-off - no comma

remain headquarters - remain the headquarters

Sorry it's a long list - it seems unfair to pick at so many small points in such a generally good article

Gif

Hi Giford,

all done and dont appologise if it was spot on there would be no need for you to suggest the ammendments

Any more comments please

This fnished then Oldberk will be pleased

Anymore comments please

>By 22 October, the kings army had reached Edgcott

The King's army -- since it is the army of The King, rather than a king, I feel (and if anybody want to correct me on this ...) that King should have a captial letter.

Also notes there are other occurances of kings not having an '


> takeing everything they could carry

taking


also notes that occationaly one army is called the Parliment army, I think Parlimentary would sound better, especially as it is used in the same sentence as Royalist

tjm

Hi tjm

All noted and done, thanks

Any more comments please

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Gif

nicely done

Thank you

Is it too late to mention that the first death of the Civil War actually happened in Coventry, when The King was repulsed from the City, on August 20-24th 1642.

This from an ccount of the seige by John Rous "The horsemen fell among the barrowes, 11 pieces were dischargd upon them, the flankers and women played their partes, so that the company fled and the King followed, some of his guard slaine just by him and others … taken prisoner." Though another contemporary account details only 1 death, and another between 40 and 60.

Thanks McKay Yes to late for me however leave a message here
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