h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I always thought that the universe was open to everyone's own unique interpretation...Oh wait...that's reality and a bunch of other things but that's beside the point. Let me see if I get this all straight, *takes in a deep breath*

The universe is a whale and a cat drinking lemonade inside a box that is held shut by a theological piece of string, not knowing if the other is happy or not but caring only enough to ask for another glass of lemonade that no one can truely be sure exists so instead of losing face and being precived as an idiot the whale and cat drink the lemonade that might not be there at all. *gasps for breath*

No one can be totally sure if the whale, the cat or the lemonade for that matter, is truly happy. I can't speak for anyone else but I don't happen to know any whale, cat or lemonade psychologist's, that could ask them about their emotional state.

That's certinly one unique view of the universe.

See my new article for a new solution to this problem.

Yeah. I really understand everything now.

EEP!

My whalae and cat are wondering about the theologiccal string where did it come from and who tied it around the box?

I was also under the impression that the cat was in a box by himself, how in the heck did the whale get in there?
...is there enough room in there for the wahle?

**gulps down more lemonade and stares at the pretty colors of the universe**

Does string thoery have a place in the gut?

The answer to happiness seems to lie in that lemonade rather then in string theory or discovering the GUT. So point me to that lemonade.

Did anyone notice if the whale and/or the cat are expanding?

Lemonade definitely gets my votes. It's a happy drink.

Gravity sucks!

Hey! Nobody went to look at my article. Anyway, if the particle decayed, would the gunshot kill the whale, whether it is a mammal or not? Apart from just a superposition of |deadcat/livecat>, we would also have superimposed on that a superposition of |deadwhale/livewhale>! To this end, does anyone know the probability of a bullet hitting a whale and killing it? And apart from this, even assuming that the box is large enough to fit the whale and the cat (calculating the probability of the cat being asphyxiated by the whale would not advance the theory), might the bullet stay in the whale's blubber, killing it but not the cat? Assuming this, we have several possibilities: live cat and whale (gun not fired); live cat and whale (gun not penetrating whale's blubber); live cat dead whale (whale stopping bullet); dead whale and cat. As well as this, we could include the slight possibility of the bullet killing the cat but not the whale, or (since the box is so large) the bullet missing entirely.

All of this goes to show: it's far easier to be the bowl of petunias, even if you couldn't manage to drink the lemonade. Oh, and remember to visit my article at http://www.h2g2.com/a306037.

wherever the gun is , i think we get rid of it cause someone shot Hatman with it awhile ago right before he was supposed to reveal the
gut theory...
I guess someone dosen't really want us to know if they are wanting to shoot the cat and whale too.

**holds up a glass of pink lemonade**

you might be able to water the petunias with the lemonade that would sort of be like drinking it...

By the way is Peta short for Petunas?

OK, maybe that's a good idea.
*Waters petunias with lemonade*
We may not see much effect though, as the bowl will probably hit the ground before the petunias soak up the lemonade.
Actually, does that mean that we get a superposition of |petunias soak up lemonade/petunias don't soak up lemonade>? This possibility should be explored...
Don't get me started!
Anyway, you can't remove the gun, it's an important piece of physics' history. But does anyone know what type of gun it is?

it all depends on your stance on the truth...

...cos there's not as much truth as people expect...

Hell,

I'd vote for you...

I see no-one knows what type of gun it is...
but back to the topic, everyone knows what the GUT is, they just don't know that they know. It's programmed into all of us, not just genetically but molecularly and atomically and even sub-atomically! The GUT is a product of our nature, just as our nature is a product of the GUT.

I see no-one knows what type of gun it is...
but back to the topic, everyone knows what the GUT is, they just don't know that they know. It's programmed into all of us, not just genetically but molecularly and atomically and even sub-atomically! The GUT is a product of our nature, just as our nature is a product of the GUT.

...or is that just a GUT instinct...?

It's a metal gun with some wood decorating the handle.
And it's out of bullets since somebody shot Hatman and got excited and shot lots of other things too...
And the bowl of petunias might not hit the ground at all, but suddenly get distracted and start flying. So here we go again...

¦M¦

But, just to complicate things further, what if you form an Infinite Improbability field around the box, the whale, the cat, and the petunias? Mind you, it probably wouldn't make much difference if the gun is out of ammo. Pity, now I can't go off and shoot myself...

Wait, wait, wait... I think in all this talk of the GUT, we've lost sight of a truly important concept: the actual meaning of "sic." Contrary to its frequent use in this discussion, sic isn't used when one feels they've made a spelling error, but rather, when one feels someone they're quoting has. (A far more favorable situation, in my opinion.)

Oh, and whales could probably be considered warm-bloody-big-fish, I suppose, and it's still be alright, although I can't say how warm they'd be in wales drinking an ice cold lemonade...

I think you're right. I'll try typing random keys to see if my unconcious knowedge of the GUT will come through. Here goes... I=0rTy tuu() Wow! If I'm not mistaken, the I= could mean a F, the double u could be what it sounds like... Are you getting what I'm getting?