h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hey, but what is the question? Adams tells us that is we know the question and the answer the universe would disappear, but I've always been one to tempt 'fate'. Here goes:

(x+7)^-2 = x-35

So it would seem that the entire Universe is an algebra question. An easy one at that. It really makes you feel humbled, doesn't it, knowing that all of the Universe was just called into being temporarily to teach maths to a bunch of schoolkids.

Hey! I started this whole topic!
I am the creator! Bow before me!

**head explodes**

Look matey, you may have created the forum but you didn't create the question. The real credit, however, should go to the chap who created the Universe in the first place. So who are we going to give it to? Please write in with your opinions of how the how pile of quarks started up anyway.
Please note: if your response is "It was me!", don't bother writing in, just take two of your tablets.

A theory I recal reading about a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away.... Hold on. That was a different theory. The one that belongs to this topic mentions something about probability. Where you had a whole bunch of energy sitting around, it goes about spontaneously and randomly changing form from one state to the next until, by random chance it finds a form that is stable. And to cut a long story short, the universe begins.

Who put that enery there? I don't know. Why would you have energy sitting around anyway? Can't help you again.

Haven't been much help, have I?

One idea that I have (I may write a book on it in future) is that in the future, time travel will be invented. Of course, someone will want to go back to the beginning to see what happened, and someone else will point out that you can't watch the big bang from the outside, as there is no outside to watch it from. Some bright spark, however, will work out how to create a small pocket of space-time outside of the Universe. This will be seen as a good idea, and someone will travel back in time to see how it all started.
They will get there (then?) and not see anything outside of their bubble, and eventually they will realise that their own pocket of space-time is actually the nascent Universe, and that the Universe's matter is formed from his/her own body and the time machine. Then there will be a big bang.
You heard it here first.

Umm, no offense, but I'm not sure that equation works. You may have ment: the square root of (x+7)=x-35. Am I correct?

Z. Your story line is similar to one I recal seeing in Red Dwarf. Here I go, reminiscing again. Anyway, in an one episode Lister somehow goes back in time to father himself. Your idea however, is on a somewhat grander scale.

Since we can only measure the Universe from within, it is my theory that the Universe hasn't changed in volume since the "Big Bang", just that the constituent parts inside have been getting smaller and hence less densely packed...

A veary interesting idea, but if in future this will hapen with afect on the past, it hase already happened in the future, which throughs up quite a lot of questiones, besides the extreemly complicated gramatical questiones. what hapened to the other univers that created thoughs that then have will went back in order to create a new one, and dose it all have a reason or rule at all or should we just go fore a beer?

That is incorrect. The universe has recently been proven to be expanding into infinity. While this assures us the BIG CRUSH is no longer a threat , people have overlooked the fact that the sun will die and the net energy in the universe will approach zero. Basically everything will still exist but in an evenly scattered haze that will
expand outwards with the retreating edge of the universe into infinity. A United Theory of the Universe? Either way , humanity is screwed . At least the big crush would have been a comparitively quick end.

Robert Frost wrote a poem about the end of the universe. Yes, the same Robert Frost of 'Two roads diverge in a yellow wood' fame. I'm not sure that this is accurate word-for-word, but the the poem is similar to this:
'Some say the would will end in fire
Others say in ice
If I could have what I desire
I'd wish that it end in fire
But if it were to end twice
For the second, I'd choose ice'
The 'fire' ending would be the Big Crunch, where all the matter of the universe turns back into energy. The 'ice' ending is the Big Chill, where the universe continues to expande forever, and all energy is conterted into mass. I have not read anything confirming that scientists know how the universe will end. What is your source for your information about us having an 'ice' universe.

The problem you describe can be solved if you can bear to accept the concept of parallel universes. This theory was detailed at some length by Stephen Hawkins and/or Paul Davies have described this theory that involves a new universe(s) being spawned (mathematically speaking) whenever you have an event that has multiple possibilities at the quantum level.

Sure make the original Terminator (and the sequel) much more believeable!?

So now the universe is no longer judged in the happyness of theoretical boxes and the such but in weither it will end in fire or in ice. Personally, I belive that it will be in ice. Expanding outward, as the energy slowly disapates until there is almost nothing left and then suddenly a ball of gas will explode throwing the whole thing into another Big Bang. Thus seting the cycle in motion again. Of course, I could be wrong. I mean I thought Romeo Must Die was a half way desent film not as good as Jet Li's other films, but still pretty good. C'est la vie! Je mata ne!

PhysicsMan I saw a Scince Week report on CNN.
NASA and JPL have analysed someorother data and are 99.9% sure that the universe does not have enough mass to collapse. Then again they were sure about all the Mars missions weren't they? Makes you wonder.
Maybe we'll get lucky and they're wrong. I would rather end in fiery
conflagration than a sucking void of nothingness.

Well I think you could give this theory a chance, as it dosn´t include the problem of time, which by my belife is only a human invention created to make gramar work out properly.

Gramar and music are things I always struggle with. And now I can blame it all on time.

Sorry I haven't posted for a while, I got sort of snowed under with things to do, like designing my new website (still not done) (please note shameless plug).
Anyway, to answer all of the previous points that have been raised:
1. In response to suspicions raised about my algebra, sorry yes, I was so busy tring to put sqrt in ASCII I mucked up (notice the m). I meant "^(1/2)", which I suppose could also be expressed as "^(2^-1)". I hope that cleared something up, or not.

2. About the Grandfather paradox et al., I believe that the "closed timelike curve" (as all self-respecting physicists call it) issue has been raised by most sf programmes in existence, but to my knowledge nobody has thought of anything this grandiose.

3. About the original universe in my theory, the point is that there is no original universe. The space/time bubble becomes the universe and there is no other (see next point). Possibly the chrononauts only discover that they are doomed after they fail to find an external universe.

4. About parallel universes, this is of course a misnomer as they are neither universes or parallel. By definition, the universe is everything, multiple probabilities and dimensions notwithstanding. The almost-as-popular term "alternate timelines" is more correct. Sorry to be pedantic . Interstingly enough, "Mostly Harmless" (h2g2 bk V) has some interesting comments on probability.

5. About the universe not expanding but everything inside getting smaller, surely, as there is no way of measuring it absolutely, us shrinking relative to the universe is the same thing as the universe expanding relative to us. It is the same as the old argument about the clothes being to small or the person being to large. However, if the planets and stars were shrinking, surely the space between them would shrink at the same rate. This would mean that instead of the othre galaxies moving away from us, we would see more space appearing at the edge of the universe.

I think that that covers everything. If anyone else requires the z1 treatment, post here or on my homepage.

as a drinker and a thinker i agree as long as you get me a beer

That's all well and good, but what hapenned to the Whale, Cat and the Lemonade?

The cat set up his own company selling Schrodingerade, which is both delicious and disgusting, and the whale and the bowl of petunias joined as Infinite Improbability consultants. They all lived happy ever after, except for the cat, who was so traumatised by his experience as a gendanken experiment that he now lives in constant fear of the decaying of radioactive sources. The gun is now revered as the weapon that got rid of Hatman, and the one remaining bullet was sold off in a charity auction.
I hope that clears it all up for you.