h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*this room is located down some stairs that manage to look like they are trying to stay out the way. or perhaps it is best not to notice them. the room is dark, funnily enough. lit only by the flickering of a few torches situated on the grey stone walls. the many contraptions of twisted metal and wooden harnesses leaves a bitter taste in the imagination. from the corner of the room you hear giggling. if you venture further you will see Mistress Belinda and PHENOM deep in conversation, sat on the stretching rack.*

*Mistress Belinda whispers something to Phenom who nods and moves into the shadows*

*pokes her nose into the room*

Hi everyone!!

What's this do?

*jabs a random button*

*a trapdoor opens up beneath werekitty revealing an underground pit of alligators*

*falls*

eeeeeeeeep

*after a few minutes a makeshift rope of alligator hide is flung up and wraps around a convinient hook in the wall.

Werekitty scales it*

Hi! Sorry about the alligators. But you still have three out of the original seven left

oh well. i'm sure PHENOM has some more. i'm going back to the office cos i don't fancy having to arrest myself for never leaving it

*continues to play with gadgets*

*swirls into the room as a dark mist and coagulates in the corner*

mmm.... torture machines. Who created these art-works?

twas me and my mistress. would you like a, erm, demonstration

oooh!!

Yes. Yes, I'd love one. Especially this one.

*points to a machine with unpleasant spinning rusty things, that is going 'PING' every minute*

*shadows engulf werekitty and strap her in the device. the spinning rusty things...spin.*

as you can see the blades move close to the body and will eventually slice the skin in a parrallel motion so as to peel it off the muscle beneath

*the straps loosen and a panicked werekitty drops to the floor*

silver encased straps, of course

*swirls around the PING machine oozing in and out of it's straps*

Very nice.... how does it work? This werekitty seems fairly happy to try....

*glows slightly blue in anticipation*

oooh... my perception of time seems distorted....

I hate it when that happens!

you get used to it.

*nurses incorporial head and rests in an iron maiden*

mmm.... pointy.

meany

Wouldn't have hut me TOO much anyway.
I'd just have been chopped up and then reformed.
Unless the BlAdEs were silver of course. But they clearly aren't as silver doesn't rust.

*sulks in a corner besides an corpse with an unpleasant look on it's face*

would you like to try the 'Embrace of Pain' I picked it up from a commander of the Vong, you wrap the arms around the body and tighten the screws in the back until the other submits or............something else

*coalesces into a caped, thin, pale creature*

I will try it.... if there's refreshments after.

*gets some popcorn*

Go right ahead

*comes in with a tray of in one hand and 2 deckchairs in te other. tosses one deckchair at werekitty and sets up the other and sits down.*

this should be fun