h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Can cause lots of bliss [4]

But a bad one could break her heart (5)



On a railway station in Kent (1)

I gave up my vices for Lent [2]

I'd stick to the rails (3)

'Til my willpower fails (4)

And then I'd have to repent.(5)


In sackcloth and ashes I'd go,(1)

With back bowed and head low (2)

Away to confession [3]

With slow progression (4)

'cos I lost my shoes in the snow. (5)



In a trench in the first world war (1)

With mud all around for a floor, (2)

I spotted a bomb (3)

and with greatest aplomb [4]

I cried "Dynamite? Oh, what a bore." (5)

[tangentially, I used to run a sketch group, in which we performed a sketch about a WW1 poet who could only write limericks. These are the ones which are readily repeatable:
With a sound like a monstrous thunder, Our guns rent the trenches asunder, So to lessen their bang, We swapped shells for meringue, Which we found was a terrible blunder
A cowardly soldier called Carl, Deserted before Passchendaele, They caught him in Spain, And blew out his brain, Which was terribly good for morale
There once was a fellow from Ypres, Who managed to bugger a shypres, He fed it on grass, And oiled its arse, Then hired it to men on the chypres.
Thereafter it just got really filthy. It was called "Limerick For Doomed Youth."]

A Neanderthal virgin was found in a cave (1)

By a spotty faced youth on his way to a rave (2)

She ripped off his shorts (3)

And exclaimed, what big warts (4)

And exclaimed, 'what big warts!' (4)

And couldn't you at least have a shave! (5)



A man with uncontrollable wind (1)