h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

.............get a boyfriend?

Stop looking is the first rule!

What sort of boyfrind do you want?

A good time Charlie to take you out clubbing and just enjoy the time together or something a bit more serious.

At 18 I doubt you are looking for husband material.

Clubs and pubs full of under 25's are generally meat markets full of people looking for a good time/cheap thrill.

If you are going to Uni then you will probably bump into someone you like.

But generally the best way to meet potential partners is through friends. They usually have a friend looking for love or can at least introduce you to other people you get on with which widens you circle of friends and guarenteed that one of them will have someone you will 'click' with.

It is a cliche but once you stop looking then it will happen.

but i really want one!!!! i just want one so that i have someone there to talk to because every1 i know has one but i don't and i feel quite left out

I wouldn't worry too much luv, chances are you won't be left out for very long...life's like that!

I'd suggest getting a hobby - that way you'll meet new people and everyone you meet has at least one thing in common with you! And trust me, a boyfriend isn't the be-all-and-end-all. Concentrate on having fun with your friends, and if some guy you really like turns up, great, if not, no biggie. There's no point in having a boyfriend just for the sake of having a boyfriend - it wouldn't last more than 5 mins anyway and is likely to cause more heartache than anything else.

OH! It's so nice to know I'm not the only one! I'm also 18 and very single and I HATE it. My problem isn't finding a bloke to like, it's not putting them off. If I'm honest, I think I come across as desperate and a bit clingy *hangs head in shame*

I'm also about to start uni. Any tips on how to come across as confident and happily single to avoid problems?

Huge to veryhotchick!

Just be yourself! And actually *be* happy to be single, rather than pretending! I know it can sound difficult, but think of all the good points - you can flirt all you like, go out whenever you like with whoever you like, you don't have to worry about what to buy someone for their birthday/xmas/valentines day, you can enjoy being friends with people without worrying about saying the wrong thing and having them break up with you...

Having a boyfriend is nice, but so is being single!

See, I completely understand everything you've just written, but actually getting myself to think that way is really hard.

I'm also 18 and single and I don't see what the big deal is

So what if all your friends have boyfriends? Good for them. You don't really *need* one.

I would suggest you don't worry about it and just be happy with yourself I'm sure you're a lovely person with lots to offer, wait and one day someone will deserve it. Until then be happy with yourself

's anyways. I hope everything works out for the best for you.

Don't worry, be happy

Cyzaki had a great idea v/h/c, find yourself a hobbie. And if you Really want a boyfriend choose something that attracts both males & females. That way you'll have a common interest when 'he' shows up...& if he doesn't show up right away, you have something to occupy your time. Butdon't worry about it, usually comes when you're Not looking for it! And when you Are looking for it, it's often more difficult to find...if that makes any sense.

.....speaking as a bloke, I think the mention of stop looking is a good idea....there is a problem with clubs, etc, as you can't be sure of the motives of people you meet, or they maybe acting differntly to their usual way to appear better than they really are......I think the best way is to generally chat to people, that way you can find out what they are like, nice/not nice.....it takes the pressure off, it could be the library, work, out with friends, etc......think you can get a truer impression then, and you can then drop subtle hints , like have you seen that film, etc , if you do wan't to go out with them.....remember YOU are in control here, usually, it's easier for girls as men have to do all the chasing, lol!

Okay, next question...what do you do if no one seems particularly interested in chasing you and you could probably scrape together enough confidence to chase them. How can you be subtle enough to not scare them but obvious enough so that they know you are interested?

I appreciate that this is a really difficult quesstion.

Traveller in Time on top
" But just enough they notice "

....well in a sense you have answered your own question, you do it by being subtle, just simply chatting to someone shows your interested, show your interested in them, not the third degree, but questions on things they say they are interested in..like their hobbies, music, sport, etc.
....I would say avoid the cheesy chat up lines, they don't work, as they may not work on you, once you get to know them you could always suggest a non-date activity to test the waters, like going to buy a CD, clearly they would have to already be a slight friend to go on a shopping trip!
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.....the good thing is you could find out if you really liked them that way!

That sounds like the sort of thing I could do. I think I'm just going to have to learn to relax...

You should just talk to them like a friend, and if it goes further, great, if not then you've got a friend (and you can never have too many friends).

If you can't talk to him as a friend, how on earth would you cope on a date?!

I do try and be friends first, but I then tend to miss the boat.

For example, there was this guy at college who seemed like a really nice guy and I managed to get to hang around with him one day. I felt really comfortable in his company and we got on really well. As we'd only just officially met I didn't want to ask him out so waited. Didn't see him for another 2 weeks by which time he'd started going out with someone else

We stayed mates but a year later when he and the other girl split I told him how I felt and got turned down. We stayed friends but unfortunately I went through a rough patch and I think he got a bit fed up with me so we've lost touch

I have the opposite problem - I have a lot of male friends, but they keep thinking I want to be more than friends Which then ruins any friendship there was.

Why do blokes do that? Stop wanting to be friends with you if they think you fancy them? Can't they just make it very clear that they aren't interested and then continue as normal? Or be flattered by the extra bit of attention?

Feel free to tell me if this is a female trait too, but I don't think it is.

Story goes:

I was friends with him, he was friends with me. He decided he fancied me, and asked me out. I said no. Then it all went weird and we've never been as good friends since.

And I'm female...