h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Since 1977, all Star Wars movies have started with the exact same routine. Silence. Lucasfilm logo. "A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away". LOUD stab of John Williams' fantastic theme music over an opening crawl of explanatory text over a starfield. Then, when the text has faded into the background, and the music has faded to just some piccolos or something, the camera does a tilt, downwards, to a close-by planet. ALL of these details are EXACTLY the same for all six Lucas SW movies, so it was VERY important that for "The Force Awakens", which I regard as Disney's "Trust us, we got this" episode, that they copied it exactly. And they did.
A year on, this is Disneys "and now, here's what *else* we're capable of" movie. So you get Lucasfilm, "a long time ago"... and then no theme music, no crawl, no downward tilt. Just a cut to a static shot of a planet. On one level, it's like a slap in the face. This is NOT the Star Wars you were looking for. As a statement of intent for what's to follow, it is brilliant.

Don't read this if you are still to see Rogue One.

On the other hand if you have no intention of seeing it carry on.

Two characters really, really grate.


































One character animated and looking as though he was from a computer game may have been excusable - his presence was pretty important so far as the story is concerned.

The second character, we didn't need to see the face of. We all know the white hooded cloak don't we?

PP.

There are fifteen showings a day for "Rogue One" at my local multiplex. That means I have to see it.

Do so immediately.

Neither of those characters above grated for me. I ing loved every second of it.

I recall distinctly as a small child seeing Star Wars (none of this episode xx rubbish) at the Glasgow Odean in 1977/78 and being utterly obsessed with it for years afterwards... or maybe still

Rogue One is most definitely for those like me mostly I think, though there's lots there for the kids too I think. Though the 11 year old we went to see it with was less impressed than I. I don't recall avidly sitting forward to watch a film like I did yesterday - well ever.

The whole thing was fantastic though it did dawn on me towards the end that the ending was going to be very dark... perhaps a bit much for the younglings... (though episode 3 should have been too of course.... )

Now it's been out a few days I'm going to go full spoiler - because if you've not seen it yet and have read this far, you don't care THAT much.

THIS is how you make a prequel.

There are some cheesy bits - having the heroes literally bump into Dr. Evazan and Ponda Baba was just a *little* bit much, I thought. I mean, it's now forty years since they shot the "he doesn't like you" scene, but in the timeline of the movie that pair are somehow going to be drinking in Wuher's cantina on Tatooine something like *24 hours* later, having incredibly narrowly avoided the destruction of Jeddha. What are the odds?

I was a little unsure about having Tarkin be a major character (as opposed to a near-unseen presence or a hologram or some other cop-out they could totally have justified) but my feeling is this: this stuff (CGI resurrection) is going to happen, and you have to start somewhere. This was an excellent place to start, and a start is all it is. It's not perfect, and the Princess Leia cameo is, bizarrely, worse, despite being much, much shorter AND them actually having the actor still alive to use as reference for the digital performance. But the sheer *balls* it must have taken to write Tarkin into the script is to be admired, and the technical achievement should be applauded as the groundbreaking step it is. One other point that has literally just occurred to me - this would be an actual justifiable thing they could go back and "Special Edition"-ise in ten or twenty years time when the tech has got better.

It did a great job of being fan-pleasing, crowd-pleasing, and despite both those things not wimping out at all on anything - I mean, this is supposed to be a kids' movie, and EVERYBODY DIES. I went in thinking they would have to, and the suspense I was in for the length of the film was wondering how they were going to wimp out and save the heroes. And then, one by one, they carked it. And the more of them that did, the more impressed I became. Forest Whitaker was never going to make it to the end credits, obvs - mysterious mentor character? Check. Played by a black dude? Check. Doomed, obviously. But the fact that NOBODY made it off that planet alive was impressive in its commitment.

Also the first film since "Pacific Rim" where the main male and female characters have a "will they/won't they" relationship and then, at the climax of the film... don't.

Main odd thing about it: there was a LOT of stuff - really, lots and lots - of action and even dialogue that was in the trailers but didn't turn up in the film. I can't think of any other film where so much of the stuff from the trailers was cut from the final release.

And finally - how fr1ckin awesome was the Vader scene at the end?

It opened on Friday. This is Monday. only five or ten percent of the population sees movies in theaters, and it's unlikely that even those few percent are able to see them the first weekend.

But, yes, I'm not bothered by spoilers.

Can't agree about the CGI Tarkin and Leia.

Tarkin was just plain bad. So do it some other way. They spent $200,000,000 making that film (yes, 200 million dollars - and they are already in pocket...) and then stick a bad PS4 character bang smack in the middle of it after paying so much attention to detail everywhere else?

And then to repeat the mistake with Leia which was totally avoidable was unforgivable.

(And why were Vader's 'eyes' red? They weren't before were they?)

PP.

Well each to their own. I found the inclusion of Tarkin made the fanboy in me cry with pleasure - and as you said yourself, given the timeline he was absolutely necessary as a character.

I could probably have gone with a new actor doing him too though to be fair.

And Leia was a moment - so what. It's not even on the same ballpark in a galaxy far far away as the abominable Noooooooooo! scene at the end of Revenge of the Sith.

When were Vader's eyes red incidentally? I didn't notice that.

Perhaps it was lava reflecting in them?

Possibly the only thing I found a little cheesy (well I'll be honest it was a Star Wars film, it's bound to be cheesy at times - but hey, I'm reliving my seven-thirteen year old self here) was the bit where Darth Vader apparently lives in Barad-Dur. Was this the planet Mordor?

No, the next planet over, Moronic.

I believe Vadar's lenses have always been red. I noticed that before R1. They may have been a very dark red and didn't register on the early films stock.

I'm with Orcus - I freaking loved it. Edge of the seat stuff for me. It was almost as exciting as being at the pictures back then in 1977 thinking "What? what WHAT? I NEED TO SEE THAT AGAIN RIGHT NOW"

Tarkin - absolutely. Leia - absolutely. Everyone. All the characters and all the things.

I even liked the goofy cute droid. And I was definitely waiting for a cop-out saving at least the pilot type of thing. And the fact that they were all wiped out was fantastic. Bold. Brilliant.

I seriously love how you can come out of that and watch Star Wars and it just continues right on, without a pause.

(there is one little niggle. Where were all the female pilots?)

But what does it say about a movie that an android is the best actor? Have standards gotten that low? Seriously?



I was hoping to see the deathstar blow up, but apparently they're waiting for a sequel in which t give us the pleasure of seeing it?

If there is such a sequel, I will not spend the money to see it. Sorry.

[Waits to be struck by lightning]

I think I saw a female pilot....


One.

Yes, I think you're right.

Why the fuss about female pilots? There was at least one in RO. There were more in Phantom Menace - indeed, one of the fighter pilots in Phantom Menace was Miss Babs from Acorn Antiques...

Essentially the question is 'how many important female characters are there in the Star Wars films?' There's a fair number in the spin-offs and expanded universe, but as they don't really count, how many can you mention in the actual films?

<BB<

Did you now know that Chewbacca is female?

now = not