A Conversation for Ask h2g2
Is watching Porn cheating on your partner?
Edward the Bonobo - Gone. Posted Mar 12, 2012
>> previous night
following, rather.
Is watching Porn cheating on your partner?
Mol - on the new tablet Posted Mar 12, 2012
Hoo - I had no curiosity about what he had been looking at - I considered it his hobby, in a way, I suppose. The shock and hurt at the time was terrible and this was because of the image itself. It wasn't anything illegal - I mean it didn't involve animals or children - but it was much more than just somebody in her scanties, and the sexual act in the photo was one which I don't think is even referenced by Alex Comfort (though I'd have to check in our own rather well-thumbed copy).
So in the long term yes, we benefited. But I did feel betrayed when I first saw it, and although I adopted the more shagging, less nagging policy almost immediately, it took longer for me to work through how I felt about it. Things were tough at the time for us anyway (nothing happens in isolation, does it?) so quite possibly we had a bit of a journey ahead of us irrespective of my seeing that image.
I had actually almost forgotten about it until I saw this thread and that does suggest that in the end it wasn't as important as all the other stuff going on in our life at the time and subsequently. But if anybody had told me that at the time I probably wouldn't have believed them.
Mol
Is watching Porn cheating on your partner?
Edward the Bonobo - Gone. Posted Mar 12, 2012
My mind is boggling now, Mol.
Is watching Porn cheating on your partner?
Mol - on the new tablet Posted Mar 12, 2012
What, about what the image was of?
Gay men do it all the time. But this was a man and a woman.
Mol
Is watching Porn cheating on your partner?
Edward the Bonobo - Gone. Posted Mar 12, 2012
Oh, that. Nah. That's in Comfort.
(and many gay men don't do it.)
Is watching Porn cheating on your partner?
winnoch2 - Impostair Syndromair Extraordinaire Posted Mar 12, 2012
Is watching Porn cheating on your partner?
Mol - on the new tablet Posted Mar 12, 2012
I'll just go and check. We have the post-aids edition and I thought it was one of the things edited out because of that.
Mol
Is watching Porn cheating on your partner?
Edward the Bonobo - Gone. Posted Mar 12, 2012
I have to say...that kind of imagery doesn't appeal to me. The alleged industry gold standard seems to the the 'DP'.
(And when I met an attractive Norwegian woman who worked in oil industry Deepwater Platform operations, it was hard to keep a straight face when she kept talking about DP.)
Is watching Porn cheating on your partner?
Edward the Bonobo - Gone. Posted Mar 12, 2012
We men have more reason to do it. It's where God put our G-spot.
Is watching Porn cheating on your partner?
Mol - on the new tablet Posted Mar 12, 2012
Ah, yes, fair enough, page 118. No pictures though (I love the pictures in Joy of Sex), and mostly he is just saying 'don't do it'.
Mol
Is watching Porn cheating on your partner?
Edward the Bonobo - Gone. Posted Mar 12, 2012
What? Even between stable couples? With condoms? And tons of lube?
Well OK...it's a Straight book. It's usually not so much fun for women. But what are strapons for?
Is watching Porn cheating on your partner?
Mol - on the new tablet Posted Mar 12, 2012
Sheltered upbringing ... sorry!
Mol
Is watching Porn cheating on your partner?
Mr. Dreadful - But really I'm not actually your friend, but I am... Posted Mar 12, 2012
It's quite interesting how straight men view that particular act... for some it's a kind of Holy Grail of sex, for others (myself included) it's a bit 'meh'.
Is watching Porn cheating on your partner?
HonestIago Posted Mar 12, 2012
I think a lot of the excitement is down to the supposedly taboo nature of it. Interestingly it has less prominance in gay porn than it seems to have in straight porn (not that I'm an expert in the latter).
Is watching Porn cheating on your partner?
Edward the Bonobo - Gone. Posted Mar 12, 2012
In straight porn it seems to me to have an element of subjugation. Which I don't lie.
Look at me being moralistic about porn.
Is watching Porn cheating on your partner?
Zappgirl Posted Mar 12, 2012
Hi Ben here is a reply to:
"I find most porn that I've seen rather dull. But maybe I'm just watching the wrong porn...."
I think this is very typical for us women...really most porn mostly does one of the following things to me:
1. It makes me feel uncomfortable and a bit embarrassed for the "characters" when you can tell they are faking it.
2. It makes me feel insecure about what I am suppose to do in bed or what guys like...
3. It makes me think of all the girls that are getting taken advantage of, and how shallow the world is becasue women are so objectified.
BUT, there is this "genre" that is called "female friendly" and I gotta tell you... its very very hot I dont know what they are doing different, I think maybe the difference might be that the guys are hot and they have a little different angle to the stuff. Women and men get turned on by different things, its just so.
I think alot of men would understand if they ever caught their wife watching the gardener next door while masturbating for instance... it feels like cheating because when your togheter you expect to get involved in each others sex-thoughts.
Is watching Porn cheating on your partner?
Zappgirl Posted Mar 12, 2012
"In straight porn it seems to me to have an element of subjugation. Which I don't lie."
How do you mean subjugation? That the girls are being subjugated? Or any of the parties?
Is watching Porn cheating on your partner?
Mrs Zen Posted Mar 12, 2012
Well, there are more straight people having anal sex than gay people, simply because there are so many more straight people.
Is watching Porn cheating on your partner?
Edward the Bonobo - Gone. Posted Mar 12, 2012
The girls. It seems to me that the guy-on-gal anal sex often has undertones (and indeed overtones) of 'Take that, bitch.' Although that said a lot of non-anal porn features rough sex of the kind that doesn't appeal to me.
Speaking of female-friendly porn, last week's Grauniad had a feature on porno heart throb James Deen:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/2012/mar/08/james-deen-porn-star-hollywood
Key: Complain about this post
Is watching Porn cheating on your partner?
- 101: Edward the Bonobo - Gone. (Mar 12, 2012)
- 102: Mol - on the new tablet (Mar 12, 2012)
- 103: Edward the Bonobo - Gone. (Mar 12, 2012)
- 104: Mol - on the new tablet (Mar 12, 2012)
- 105: Edward the Bonobo - Gone. (Mar 12, 2012)
- 106: winnoch2 - Impostair Syndromair Extraordinaire (Mar 12, 2012)
- 107: Mol - on the new tablet (Mar 12, 2012)
- 108: Edward the Bonobo - Gone. (Mar 12, 2012)
- 109: Edward the Bonobo - Gone. (Mar 12, 2012)
- 110: Mol - on the new tablet (Mar 12, 2012)
- 111: Edward the Bonobo - Gone. (Mar 12, 2012)
- 112: Mol - on the new tablet (Mar 12, 2012)
- 113: Edward the Bonobo - Gone. (Mar 12, 2012)
- 114: Mr. Dreadful - But really I'm not actually your friend, but I am... (Mar 12, 2012)
- 115: HonestIago (Mar 12, 2012)
- 116: Edward the Bonobo - Gone. (Mar 12, 2012)
- 117: Zappgirl (Mar 12, 2012)
- 118: Zappgirl (Mar 12, 2012)
- 119: Mrs Zen (Mar 12, 2012)
- 120: Edward the Bonobo - Gone. (Mar 12, 2012)
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