h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I will preface this request with a confession, I am rubbish at baking. Whatever I try the sponges do not turn out light and fluffy and moist. They tend to be a bit dry even if I follow the instructions and weigh everything. I don't know what I am doing wrong! The only one I have ever made that has consistently turned out ok is the Chunky Banana bread recipe on CBeebies I Can Cook - designed to be made by pre-school-age children without help from their parents...

In a couple of weeks I am expected to produce a cake for a school cake sale, and don't want to embarrass myself by my cake being the only one unsold at the end of the day, so please, I am begging you, help me to bake something impressive that can't fail!

What recipe do you use, are there any steps that I should pay particular attention to to avoid disaster?

The easiest cake I make these days is carrot cake. It's not that expensive either as you use sunflower oil instead of butter.

The icing is a bit more expensive, and fiddly, if you use cream cheese, but you could cheat and just put butter icing ( made with margerine) instead.

If you like the sound of it I could find the recipe I use, but there are lots on the web. Delia Smith's the one I go for.

My one attempt at carrot cake (I love carrot cake) turned out dense and soggy - don't know what went wrong there either! If you've got an idiot-proof recipe I'd love to see it My banananana bread recipe uses sunflower oil instead of butter, perhaps this is a good omen

There are so many recipes on the net, what I need is a recommendation for one that definitely works, and which bits in the methods I should pay particular attention to.

From memory it uses plain flour and bicarb, to raise the cake.

I did make one once that turned out very heavy and stodgy, and I think this was the fault of the oven being too cool.

This is the recipe I use, but I double the quantities and bake it in a square flat tin approx 8 x 8 inches?

http://www.deliaonline.com/recipes/cuisine/mediterranean/greek/saturday-carrot-cake.html

You could experiment with the amounts given in the Delia recipe first, to see if it is worth making.

ps I like carrot cake, it is classed as one of my five-a-day vegetables

you don't need to add the walnuts, it tastes fine without!

Any cake can fail. Once I forgot to add the flour and baking power mix

Otherwise I'd go either for a simple "quatre quarts Breton" (a pound cake, apparently, but French terminology makes it fancier), or a guinness cake for something more fruity. It seems to me that the recipes are variations on "mix everything in approximate quantities and bake until ready".

Ah, what recipes I do use: for the pound cake, I think it was this one:
http://presquile-infos.fr/quatre-quarts-breton.html [fr]
and for cake, I forgot which. The first one from the internet to look reasonably simple, probably.

What steps to be wary of? Well, don't forget any crucial ingredients, obviously I find it a bit hard to know when to stop the baking. To my taste, better have them undercooked than overcooked, and they always get harder / dryer after you switch off the oven anyway, so better to stop the baking slightly before you feel you should*.

(* This actually led me once to a way too liquid lemon tart, so don't overdo it either!)

Seriously why not just make a donation for the amount you would spend on a cake?

Or say your husband made it. I am quite good at baking but whenever I bring a cake to work people are utterly stunned that a *man* made a cake, and say it's wonderful even if I got it in the wrong state of matter.

Ah, you wanted impressive as well. You can try a lemon meringue pie (yes, the sort I said I messed up just above; but bear with me).

I use again a recipe in French; here's one in English if you prefer but I haven't tested it:
http://www.taste.com.au/recipes/19506/lemon+meringue+pie

The upside of the recipe is that *anything* looks fancy with lots of meringue on top. So I guess what I'm trying to say is, you can use an easy recipe for unimpressive cake, and then dress it up with fancy frosting or meringue or whatever to brush away imperfections.

But I must say I'm quite fond of Z's suggestion of claiming a man did it

I always use the recipe from "Kipper bakes a cake" these days.

I tend to make muffins, I use two different recipes depending on whether I have loads of butter, or loads of sunflower oil. The former I decorate with butter the latter don't need it, but I don't always use the truffles, I just add chocky chips.

Here are the recipes:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/fairycakes_83889
I usually miss out a wee bit of flour and add cocoa powder to it. These are very light and fluffy, the batter actually looks like thick batter and they rise really, really well. It's my recipe of choice.

http://www.pamperedchef.co.uk/images/public/uk/recipe_truffle_muffins.pdf
This is quite dense, a proper muffin density, and very very moist, even after two days.

I've tried both for a sponge and, unsuprisingly the Nigel Slater's is virtually fool-proof.

How about something that doesn't involve baking? My favourite quick recipe is just 100g chocolate (milk if baking for children, I prefer dark) melted together with 4 big tablespoons peanut butter in a big mixing bowl. (Can be done in the microwave, melt the peanut butter a bit first, stir often, and don't use the highest setting so it doesn't burn.) Then mix it with a cupful or two of puffed rice breakfast cereal (own brand will do), stir, and add a little more if there's a lot of spare chocolate. Then either press it into a rectangular container of some kind (even a food storage box) and let it cool, then cut it into squares, or scoop tablespoonfuls into bun cases.

If it's for a sale, I suppose you can drizzle it with white chocolate or decorate it with a few m&ms or something.

The 1, 2, 3 cake:

Ingredients:
-1 natural yogourt,( about 125 g)
-the same container of yogourt, filled with oil,
- now fill it twice, with sugar,
-now, fill it three times with flour.

that´s the 1, (oil), 2 (sugar), 3 (flour) cake. ( It sounds like a mambo)

- about 30g of raising powder
- the grated zest of a lemon ( or any flavour you want to add, artificial vanilla is not a heresy)

Procedure:
once you have mixed all that, put it in the oven, previously heated, at 180Cº, during 45 minutes.

why I also used to feel I was a failure in baking:
- I used to open the door of the oven to see how it was going. NOOO, that can´t be done at all.
- I used to put the mix in a recipient too flat, it´s better those that seem boats.

Variation:

instead of the grated zest of a lemon use an orange, and add 3 spoonful of cacao, a good one.

hope you feel the of

Z, shall we tell 'em about spidermallows?

forgot the eggs!!

5 eggs, six if they are small.

I don't think chocolate rice-crispie cakes are going to cut it!

Mustn't use nuts in anything incase somebody has an adverse reaction.

My husband usually does all the baking in our house but I don't think he will have time for this one so I am going to have to do it (I always think his cakes are a bit dry too, but they are better than mine). Plus I feel a bit inadequate that the only thing I can bake is the CBeebies recipe. The Green and Blacks recipe chocolate chunk cake usually turns out ok too, that has sour cream in it so perhaps that offsets whatever I do that makes my other cakes dry.

I like the idea of muffins actually, so will look at those recipes.

Lemon Meringue pie would be lovely but I think is a bit fiddly to eat at the school gates - this is partly why I like the idea of muffins. But I think the best income:cake ratio will be achieved with slicing up a cake rather than selling individual units. The school would probably do better if I did just give them some money, but as I already do that via direct debit every month, and as they are constantly asking for cash one way or another, they probably feel that this is better than just blatantly demanding yet another note out of our wallets. Apparently it will be fun for the children to stand outside and do the selling too. I think it will be stressful, personally, for whichever parents have to man the stall with them.

I just wish I wasn't so rubbish at baking! I never know if the consistencies of things are right, or what it should look like at the point it needs to come out of the oven. Have recently got an oven thermometer because I think our oven may be quite hot, so event hough I put things in for the specified time at the specified temperature they come out overcooked - going to try this one looking only at the thermometer not at the dial.

No nuts? Pity, there goes my best chocolate cake recipe...

I suppose you'll also want something cheap to make. Cinnamon sticky buns are easy and fast, but again, individual units.

*pinches Mala's recipe for peanut butter choc crispy cakes

Chocolate tiffins (or kunzle, depending on which recipe I'm looking at).

The recipe I usually use is very similar to this one: <./>http://allrecipes.co.uk/recipe/7451/chocolate-tiffin.aspx</.>, but with the addition of dessicated coconut, and using chocolate powder rather than cocoa.

Tips: Don't add too much syrup - it won't set properly
Don't crush the biscuits completely to dust. Having some bigger bits adds to the texture
You could try different biscuits to add to the flavour (I'm thinking ginger nuts, not tried it myself though)
Grease the tin well! Otherwise it can be a bit of a bugger to remove the finished article...

How about a savoury option, like mini pizzas? There never is one at these events, I'm sure someone would be glad to find a quiche.