h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Is there an English team?

Walter of Colne - how do you know who is going to light the flame? It thought it was supposed to be a MEGA secret - or are you just guessing? For his part my husband wanted Kylie (Minogue), scantily clad and doing a little dance!! - He'll be lucky, (lucky, lucky)!!

Oh, I've just realised, no-one down under will be reading this as you'll all be watching the Opening Ceremony - great Jelly Fish!!

There isn't an english team (it's britain) but the particular fellow is english.

Did anyone see the couple of bungled attempts to steal The Flame?
... and does anyone have any idea what they would have done with it?
... what would you have done with it?

Set fire to the Dome and claimed the insurance!!

Last I heard on the radio, the smart money was going on someone called Betty, who won 4 Golds in Melbourne, being pushed in her wheelchair (she's got MS) by Kathy Freeman.

I think this should all be done to a backdrop of Kylie's last video (especially that close-up of her bum in hot pants - Ooh! Suit you!)

What Olympics?
Can I panic buy One?

You haven't quite got it with panic buying. Those who do it vehemently deny that they are panicking. They're just being 'sensible' (snort, yeah right).

Wasn't there something about The Don lighting the flame?

Can someone please explain why all the announcements at the Opening Ceremony are made in French (?) then English? Am I missing something, I didn't realise the Aussies had a strong French link??

Also, did anyone else notice at least 3 Aussie guys talking on their mobiles while they paraded ? No matter how busy you are, sometimes, you just gotta take that call!!

Don Corleone?
Don King?
Don Duck?

I am, of course talking about Don Bradman, arguably the greatest cricketer ever.

The IOC, having been founded by the Baron Pierre de Coubertin, has French as its language, and wherever the Olympic flag flies becomes 'Olympia' (funny, I thought that was in Kensington) - as Herr Hitler was famously told.

Has anyone noticed how the French always seem to have been heavily involved in setting up big international sports bashes?

Jules Rimet for the World Cup, Henri Delaunay for the European Football Championships. Any other examples, anyone?

So - the torch is lit and it all goes on. I watched some of the opening - liked the New Zealand tap boots (forget what they were called), most of the rest a bit glossy, yukky for me, but so what.

I have been wondering if I should watch any of the games. I love athletics, and a lot of the rest, particularly the decathalon and pentathalon (how do they do all of that?). I'm no good myself , but enjoy watching. My worry is all the money sticking to it all, but most of all the drugs. Is it him/her or what he/she has taken?

In the end I have decided to watch. It is still a spectacular celebration of long term, concerted effort and achievement coming to a peak. The drugs and money? Like all of humanities efforts it is flawed. We just have to try and make it better, even as it seems to be getting worse. Particularly as it gets worse.

When it comes down to it, does it matter that they take drugs?

Or, more to the point, does it make much difference?

Let's face it technology is affecting everything they do much more; low-drag fibres, perfectly balanced javelins, runner-friendly surfaces (which are constantly updated)...... Slightly adjusting the physical make-up of the athlete is part and parcel, surely?

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It's that the technology is open to all = level playing field. Most don't take drugs.

I disagree - I would envisage that the majority take drugs of some kind. The difference is that not all are legal (and even some of those that are legal have illegal by-products - as Mr L Christie has found, to his dismay).

A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms.
Clearly impressed, he buys a pack. Upon getting home, he announces to his wife the purchase he just made.
"Olympic condoms?", she blurts, "What makes them so special?"
"There are three colours", he replies, "Gold, Silver and Bronze."
"What colour are you going to wear tonight?", she asks cheekily.
"Gold, of course", says the man proudly.
The wife responds, "Why don't you wear Silver: it would be nice if you came second for a change!".

Gooday everyone,

Gee Tigerlily, the mind boggles: what's the punch line for the bronze-coloured condoms!!

Still sulking about Freeman lighting the cauldron, with Cuthbert, Fraser, Strickland, Gould et al watching below. What does Nova Kneebone have to do to get a look in, or are these the 'Freeman' Olympics? Dinsdale, Betty Cuthbert won the 100, 200 and 400 metres - no-one before or since has managed that. But I agree with you, how marvellous to have had the Don in there somewhere. Maybe Phar Lap, too.

Slug, yes it looked a bit off in the Opening Ceremony with some of our athletes on their mobiles, but we figure they were sharing the moment with their loved ones, or doing 'exclusives' for radio stations. Of course, they could have been getting set for the last from Harold Park trots. And the Governor-General, refused point blank to do the 'I declare the Games open' in French which, given the cock-up he made of doing it in English, is probably just as well.

How about the Oz men's 4x100 relay team!! And the English rower turned cyclist, aged thirty, who took gold in the sprint? It's happening already: no matter what attitude you take coming into the Games, they will get you sooner or later. And isn't it wonderful that for once we in Oz don't have to go to work bleary-eyed from having stayed up all night watching teev? Take care all,

Walter.