h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Otto, yes. But you are not alone!

>> ...Who has Houston placed in the position to set up a panel and charge it with any responsibility ? <<

Why, the senior of the senior crew member of course. But what is being done about it?
Anyway, I wouldn't trust any panel set up by that

Really, now look here .... Can you please keep your voice down?

oops

sorry

Thank you.

This is your senior advisor speaking.

I've come up with the following policy. Who are the so-called experts in natural selection? Exactly, women. In the absence of better ones, I therefore propose that every female on board picks one male each. These will serve them as household - and sex slaves. The rest of the males are driven into the airlock and will be disposed of in space.

I retire now to my office where the females can collect and fill in the appropriate forms. In due time the names of the males who are not on the lists will be announced publicly over the communication system. These will be requested to assemble in the airlock.

End of message.

No worries Rod, you are selected to do my dishes and laundry.

Why thank you, krabatt.

Just so long as you are really dishy.
Well-laundered, too, at the outset.

Mr Krabatt I have something to comunícate:
In the section U5678klm of this spaceship, women have decided on another policy different to yours. We women are optimistic, sceptic and realistic and don´t buy that of “shortage of resources”. That´s just an excuse to get rid of some people considered nasty, who, for us, aren´t at all.
Our policy is to work with joy and with a constructive mood. Houston came and had a talk with us. she(Houston is a woman, btw) left this for us to reinforce our idea of working with optimism:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D38s1PDZlx0
Houston also said that she shouldn´t be bothered for a while, as she is trying to help these people and it will take time:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tYjbkRktqIE




*whisper* Mr Rod, come here, join the Resistence!*whisper*

resistance is futile.

Full and eager co-oper-ition is far, far preferable.

Forget the 'We', Miss Del Mar. This is the I, and the you we're talking about, there is no 'WE'. The 'We' is an oratory device. It's commonly used in speeches by politicians who use it on and off to manipulate public opinion in their own interest.

I'm just taking care of matters of a more practical nature, I came up with what I think is the best solution in this specific situation.

You're free to do whatever you want within the boundaries of this new decree, Miss Del Mar.

Well, Rod. I call that a stroke of good luck. C'mon, I'll show where you can find the ironing board. Do you like to listen to the radio meanwhile?

Right, that's done. Washing-up too, even though you didn't offer me a cuppa. Radio's rubbish, all enticing adverts by dulcet-toned women. Fishwives at home, eh?

I've made up my mind which way to vote.

I'm off to the drinking compartment. I may be some time.

How many people have you got in your community ?

Including the Chinese? A lot.

The Chinese ( male or female ) seem to have little or no interest whatsoever in your survival. To prolong survival Houston have contacted them in the hope that they can do something to improve the environment in their area of the ship.

Of course they have no interest in my survival. They and all others, including yourself, are solely preoccupied with the survival of themselves. That's hardly surprising, is it? I doubt very much that Houston has contacted the Chinese "to improve the environment in their area of the ship". Not only would that be a mistake from a diplomatic point of view, but would result in a demographic disaster. It would endanger the survival of the human species on board of this ship, no matter what the nationality.

Now let me see Yes, you've got about one week left to find yourself a female to come forward to put down a claim that you're her property, and that she will take full responsibility for your moral conduct and behaviour on this ship.

I do not need to tell you that as a slave you will forfeit all civil rights, including the right to participate in political life. You cannot vote, nor be elected. You cannot fullfill a public office. You will receive no pay for your humble work. You cannot inherit and own property yourself. You cannot apply at a court of justice to fight any injustice, nor is your testimony as a wittness valid in any legal case that is brought in front of a judge.

That will be all for now. You can leave. Oh, and by the way, don't take it personally.

You seem to be way out of your depth with regard to your understanding of the situation. The notion that women alone could survive is just stupid. They can not even lead in the UK area of the ship. In certain areas women are way down in the pecking order.
I have a wife and we live happily together.
I trust that Rod in the New Zealand area of the ship and nearer to the Chinese sees things in a more realistic way.

Ah, so you are somebody's property. Well, you should be alright then, shouldn't you?
Just like Rod, I just received a message from his wife. She's willing to sell him to me .... for a price exeptionally tempting ... Alas, I'll have to refuse. Not that it is uncommon amongst owners to trade in slaves.

Good customers, the Chinese.
Let that be enough said.

Now that, krabatt, was particularly cruel - I was sold on Miz Stress a long time ago

Your wife tried to con me? Me, of all persons? I knew it, I knew it! I just knew something fishy was going on. Luckily I always trust my guts in matters of business. Thank you, Rod for sharing this piece of useful information. It certainly does you credit.

Credit, eh? That makes a change - perhaps you'll tell Miz Stress ?

So I'm not without honor save in my own country.

Just fiddle on.