h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I would rather not go in to detals of my work as has allowed me to talk openly about my mental illness, sever-chronic Generalised Anxiety Disorder, Panic Attacks and bad Depression (possibly Bi-Polar Disorder).
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In a couple of months I will have been off sick from work nearly a year and the end of line really as will presumably get sacked.
So nearer then I will either have to return to work or presumably get sacked and end up on some sort of incapacity benefit.
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The question is what do I do as the thought of working at any job starts the shaking, etc again. Even if I did manage to get back into work it wouldn't be for that long as I am not far of middle 50s now and would retire at 60 anyway as just about worn out already. I can't make decisions as can't think straight, my eye twitches non stop now as so jumpy and jump at the slightest sound. My job is about ensuring others are okay and although not a supervisor anymore, being the sole person there with the responsablity for them happens often.
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Me changing jobs now is laughable as who would give a mid 50s person who has just been off sick for nearly a year with mental health problems a job!
No my choice is really between ending up on incapacity benefits and going back to work which might give me a full blown breakdown.
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I am worried that forcing myself back to work would push me right over the top and damage whatever is left of my sanity!
Being on incapacity benefits sounds like a life of constant checks on me and little money, but I spend little and could do voluntary stuff as could walk away whenever I wanted so wouldn't have any responcabilty,
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So wise Peeps, what the heck do I do!
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Don't even attempt to return to work. You must be guided by your doctor and allow them help you.

Being on Incapacity Benefit isn't too bad, and your money will be made up in other forms of supplementary payments should you need it.

The main thing is to make sure you feel mentally fit for work from the beginning.




lil x

Thanks Lil, I forgot to mention they have got me a Phychiatrist as they thought I was rambling, etc when I went to my GP doc!
I also asked to see one as knew I wasn't 100%, to say the least since I was shaking and had jumping limbs,etc!
To be honest I am not sure i would be much good to an employer at moment!

Don't worry about it. You just continue seeing the people you are comfortable with

Hi SS

I agree with Lil
Be kind to yourself
Be guided by your Doc
And allow yourself to get well

You may find yourself in a totally different job in the future,
one that works for you

Take care

My tuppence worth

Going by what you've said going back to your old work doesn't sound like the most helpful thing for you to do.

But beware your low self esteem talking you into making choices that could only reinforce the problems. Such as with talk of it being laughable that you could get a job anywhere at all...

When on incapacity benefit you are allowed to do 'permitted work' which dictates what hours and wages you can take while receiving the benefit, but it is about getting back to work. Doing voluntary work and keeping an open mind about what experience you have hat could be brought to on the face of it very different paid work would be good for you.
Long term unemployment only increase low self worth and isolates you from people and experiences that help in a recovery.

If you have been refered to a community mental health centre then they can provide you with access to various bodies that will help you gain skills and training and also to someone who can help make sure you receive the benefits you are entitled to.
Get involved with any groups they have help you engage with people and creative tasks that help you build a sense of routine and learn to manage your life and strain of being around people meeting you own goals.

Severe mental health problem that affect you ability to live an normal day to day life could entitle you to disability living allowance and incapacity benefit. If you're a single male living alone then you may get income support too.

Thanks for your reply. The 'laughable' bit about someone giving a job to someone who had been off sick around a year with mental health problems was perhaps a comment more about society's attitude to those with mental illness than any lack of self esteem/confidence I might have or have not. But I take your point.
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The Phychiatrist is based at what I like to call the 'Crazy House', which neither is or isn't a term of endearment,lol! It is a Community Mental Health Team center so has the lot, I was assessed first of all by a Community Mental Health Worker who clearly thought I was a bit beyond a bit of a go on a Panic and Anxiety course. I expect she could point me in direction of suitable help if have to give up work.
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When I went there first time, it only took about 3 weeks to get to see the shrink which I think is an opinion on how bad they thought I was as arms bouncing up and down with electric shock type effects and mega shaking at times, I waited in waiting room, one first visit, and thought wow, this is scarey as not a single person is saying a word, I thought I was in a Clap Clinic waiting room by mistake,lol! I know realise that most of people in the Crazy House waiting room are not actually patients but assorted social/support workers and Phychiatrist waiting to see other shrinks on working visits. I still have this urge to shout out 'for christ sake someone say anything, which is likely to get me commited, lol.
I am seeing a Neurologist this week, 'just incase', erm, lol!
The irrony is that I would more likely be of benefit to society doing voluntary work than my job badly, I would certainly be less likely to make a mistake and harm someone doing voluntary work than in my job as in voluntary work I would not put myself into a position where it would be likely to happen.

Hi man,

I don´t think it´s a bad idea that of doing voluntary work and receive the benefit pay. The contact with people is positive and helping others is rewarding.
I only recommend you to practice those things you like ( birdwatching?, I think I read once something you said about those animals; in any case, it´s a nice pastime) I mean, you should do something creative, amusing. All of us are artists. Try and find a way of expresing yourself. Art is also therapeutic.
On the other hand, getting in contact with people with the same condition can help a lot.

I wish you all the best

¡Ánimo! gentle man

Mar

Thanks for that Mar!
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You are right Birdwatching is one of my main hobbies and is great for execise, fresh air, sunshine and of cause seeing wildlife.
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I just went to Sainsbury's and other shops locally and it all went a bit wrong,and pear shaped.
It started ok and really enjoyed buying half price candles and a fun lava lamp. When I went to Sainsbury's I started to get a bit jumpy , actually make that VERY jumpy as I am always jumpy now. I think I started to get a bit manic and before I knew it I had spent an hour going through all the CD sales racks there and bought 8 CDs. I got to checkout and couldn't even think straight. On they way out getting my pushbike I realised I had smiled at just about everybody and spoke to some.
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It all sounds fantastic when you think I have been really down and depressed but suddenly zap and the great mood had gone and I was down again. It was not a normal state I now realise (I have gone back to an edge of tears state as I type this) and it might have seemed strange a stranger was grinning at them and talking to them. I think it might have been another manic state that the Phychiatrist wants me to look out for as she has asked about such states of mind.

I´m sorry, SS,
I wish I were wise enough to tell you a word with enough strength to help you in some way, I wish I had all the words you need, dear man. Words of comfort, words to soothe your heart. I only have a strong feeling of compassion towards you.



Take care, I hope you have good, warm professional people near you.

Strangely Im sure I dont have to go into too much detail about the impression I have got of you from previous encounters. still since you asked here's my two penneth...

While the advice offered so far is all obviously well mean and fairly sound generally it really is best to keep in mind other perspectives but mostly rely on the advice of proffessionals and friends who know you and your circumstances much better than any of us do.


I have a frien who has very similar sounding symptoms to you. He appears to be loving the life he's got and gets a great deal out of the volunteering he does. He is glad he has left his work but still feels he has soemthing to offfer where he doesnt feel so much pressure.

Hopefully your future path will be as rewarding and its good that you are casting your net wide before plumping for one option. Just take time and make sure that whatever option you initially take next is one that you know how to get out of if it doesnt workout for you.

Ask how benefits will be affected if you take work but then find you cant cope with it. Check how many hours volunterring you can do and still be elligible for benefits. Find out if you will still get support if you choose to go back to work and ask your present employers if a part-time phased return or redeployment is possible.

Thank you both for your posts.
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Mar, don't worry too much about it you will upset yourself and could end up crazy like me,lol!
Besides there are some compensations to a manic hours search through every CD rack as I now have lots of cheap CDs by some of my favourite artists like Andrea Bocelli, Katherine Jenkins, Jam, Velvet Revolver, Korn and a Buddhist meditation relaxation tripple CD, ok forget the Buddhist tape as that was a crazy purchase, lol. No I bought it to relax, which I will need after playing the Korn CD, lol!
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Actually I have read that some with Bi Polar Disorder, Manic Depression, look forward to the manic states as can be creative, as long as don't go OTT! At least it is better than the sludge of bad depression when as creative as a slug on tranquilisers.

I think the advice to choose whatever makes you happy is the best. Take advice from th eprofessionals and look into volounteering IF that appeals to you.

There's no pressure on you to go back to work, that's what the long term sickness benefits are for. You're not on the dole, you're entitled to partake of the benefits that our society provides.

Volounteering could be in a variety of places, from charity shop work through to being a support worker in a Riding for the Disabled centre, in adult learning centres, with children, adults, the ill, the impoverished... Or animals perhaps if that appeals. Most wildlife and pet rescue centres need volunteers.

And you can do a small amoutn of paid work IF you want to do that, but seriously, dont pressure yourself into working except for your own health!

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That of creativity is true.

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So, I was right, you like , ok, the last two arent birds, but they fly...
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I bought a book about birds in Benalmádena, Málaga, in a second hand shop, it belongs to a collection: The Observer´s Book of ... by Vere Benson. I like it for the illustrations.
I think that drawing and painting is a lovely pastime.

Perhaps you could try some sort of work from home freelancing thing?