h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hmm, what advice do I have to offer? Well, when I liked my last boyfriend, he was my best friend. I was scared out of my mind to say anything, since permenant embarrassment could occur. After many incoherent mumblings, I managed to get out the words that I liked him. After a long period of silence, since guys are in fact guys, he finally asked if I wanted to go out. See, you have to do something if you like this guy. He is being vague, and you definatly need to get to the bottom of it. Everytime I have put my heart on the line, I have benefitted in some way. You are scared that he wants no commitment, but if you do nothing, there might be nothing or it will just take longer cause he is a guy. See, thats my new answer to everything. If a guy acts a certain way, its cause they are impaired in the head. So suck it up and talk to him. If he doesnt want anything to do with you, you'll get over it. How you managed to get over that guy you were going out with for four years is like beyond me. Its been like three months since I broke up with my ex and we only went out for eight months. Well, good luck to you. You need it.

Oh and turtle(heh we're both animals, funny) I am currently working on breaking down the walls. I am currently working on a top secret(well I actually havent thought of what I will do yet) project for Valentines Day to expose the true feelings of my ex as well as one of my guy friends( iodine if you are reading this it is you so be afraid, be very afraid). And that guy sounds like a creep. I don't mean to be rude, but that wasn't great of him. He was probably afraid of his feelings like other guys are. I don't understand why they like it behind that wall of theirs. Sheesh, don't they want us behind it too? Don't they realize how much happier they could be if they just let us behind it sometimes? Its sad really. Feelings aren't always bad, they should be embraced sometimes. They're paranoid or something. Heh, maybe they'e a bunch of paranoid androids or something, not quite human and not quite machine. Ah well, I shall update everyone on my plan to break down the walls of two, yes two males. If I can succeed, hell, anyone can.

araT

You're right rat, if I don't do anything then nothing will happen. So, I gave him the valentine that I made for him. I think that he liked it. Now, I just have to be paitient, since I probably won't talk to him until next week. But, I've waited this long, a little more won't hurt.

Why doesnt he just call you? Sheesh, guys are soooooo weird.

Patience Greyrose, guys need space. Let him get up the courage to call you. Wait the week. It'll be ok.
Yeah Rat, us guys are weird. Sorry. I've been hiding behind my wall now for a few centuries. It's comfortable back here. When I finally decide to peek out, I'll probably die of shock.
By the way, I noticed that about 4 days ago someone (I forget who; maybe Cheerful Dragon) mentioned that guys don't feel the need to clean. This is not because we view it as woman's work. It is because we only do things that _need_ to be done. Anything that can be put off until tomorrow will be.
I personaly don't clean very often. I do put my clothes and stuff in very neat piles on the floor though.

I wish I knew, Rat. He has called me. The week before last he called me a lot. He just hasn't called me since we kissed. Just about everyone I know thinks that he doesn't know what to do. He hasn't gone out with that many girls. And, I don't think that he's liked anyone as much as he likes me. (I hope that is true.) I know that he's not going to call me this weekend, because he's going to be busy. He is driving me crazy, but I can deal.

jbliqemp, I'm giving him space. I know that that he needs this to go slowly, and truthfully, so do I. I'm pretty sure that things will be ok, I just hope it's sooner than later.

I have only ever seen two men cry. The first was my father. It was only a week or two after his mother had died and they played her favourite hymn on TV. I guess that would get to most men.

The second was my (then) brother-in-law, during our wedding reception. He and my sister were splitting up at the time (He was best man, my sister wasn't invited, don't ask!) and they played 'Lady in Red' by Chris de Burgh, which had been 'their song'. We very quickly asked the people to play something else!

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I can cope with a man crying because I know that it won't happen except under the most trying circumstances. Richard has no trouble showing his emotions, which are either gentle, caring ones or playful, humourous ones. He doesn't have an aggressive bone in his body, bless him!

Some men can show their feelings readily, some only under certain circumstances, some not at all. If you're not happy with the man you've got, find some one else. After all, you should love some one with their 'faults', not in spite of them, otherwise it's not love!

Yes, I admit it, it was me (probably). Men typically don't clean for two reasons. Firstly, they don't see it. That is, most women (including me) will walk into a room and immediately see whether it needs cleaning / tidying; a lot of men won't. Secondly, men don't get the same sense of achievement (or whatever) that women get. I hate housework, but I get a lot of satisfaction at the sight of a clean, tidy room, and feel uncomfortable in a dirty, untidy room. Richard does the vacuuming and washes the dishes 'cos they're chores he doesn't mind doing, but he gets no satisfaction out of them. But he loves cleaning our cars, which is just as well 'cos I don't!

Well before i say anything else i should apologize for this somewhat off topic post but i felt i had to respond to the threat posted by rat. Having said that i will continue...
Rat i don't mean to be mean but i highly doubt any plan of yours to expose any feelings (of who's existence you ar enot even sure) will succeed. In fact it may very well backfire in ways you can never imagine, but since i can't stop you feel free to try it anyway. As for the other victim of this plan, i wish you luck but promise similar results as myself.
And now for the second part of my comment... i am going to agree with someone else who posted here (forgot the name, sorry). I rather like it behind my wall, its nice here. Nobody can ever bother you if the wall remains solid, not fuzzy and porrly defined like some people who will let people in to varying extents depending on the moment. Those people will end up being hurt, those with rock stead walls (love the metaphor) are safer then those with porrly defined ones or those who are simply open (hmm... sounds a lot like computer firewalls all of a sudden). I see no reason to come out of here since i am not being hurt and others aren't either (yeah here come the arguments that others are hurt but a lack of inside to a persons mind never killed anyone yet). Well thats enough pointless bable. I may add some more another day...

P.S. If this seems rather incoherent then there is a good explanation for it. It is ratehr incoherent....

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Damnit, Iodine, you will at least vacation from behind the wall or allow a visit from me. I don't care if it backfires, seeing as how any emotion is a good one. As I told you, my plan to make that other person(you know who) crack, has succeeded. Now it is your turn. And I will succeed. By the way, you evil person, I know you posted that thing to send away for the free dollar bill. And I never even got mine, ya know? I mean, where the hell is my dollar bill you promised me!

That evil person you know,
The rat

Oh iodine, that is so sad!

Of course it's safe behind the wall, that's why so many people are there. But so is being a hermit.

If you never risk being hurt, you'll never really get a chance to live your life to the fullest. Sitting inside that little virtual cave for your whole life may be "safe" but you'll never get to experience the warmth of the sun, the wonder of the stars, or the powerful beauty of a waterfall. You may certainly be comfortable there, but you're not really alive, until you come outside.

It's ok to be hermitlike somtimes, but just not all the time.

Take it from me, I'm a turtle, I know about these things. Having a shell is both a benefit and a hindrance.

I think this may be the point where the metaphor takes a bad turn. While i completely agree with the statement that you have to take risks to enjoy life to its fullest (or enjoy it to any measurable extent for that matter) but i don't see how that aplies to keeping things to yourself. I don't see why letting others know what is going on in your mind (even if its nothing at all) helps you enjoy life more, or make it better. And I have tried looking at it from the other persons shoes too, unless a person is obviously in some sort of depression or some other serious situation where they obviously need help of some sort i don't see any need to know what a person is thinking. Maybe its just me who is odd, or maybe there is something i am missing. But either way untill i see some logical need to expose your thoughts and emotions (or lack thereof) to others, i will continue living life behind the saftey of my wall.

Hmmm. - that's twice in the last week I've hit 'reply', and ended up with an immediate blank entry. I wonder what's going on?

Well this is just an update for those of you who may have been wodnering as to how well rat's plan worked (the one she threatened me with). I know you probably don't but i need to learn to type better anyway so i might as well use this as practice. Anyway rat's plan failed, it was not even partially succesful (at least not in respect to me). And to those of you who may think this post is mean on my part i just want you to know that rat aproved this entry (yeah instead of aproved guide entry's we will have rat aproved posts..)

Thanks for the update!

I just wanted to reply to your further question about letting other people know what you are feeling. I'd say it's all about sharing. When you like someone, and they become important to you, you just feel like sharing yourself with them. The more you share the more they will understand you. And when someone understands you it's the most amazing feeling ever.

Yeah, it could be considered a bit scary, but, really it's not. Honest. It's cool. It's so much more fun than keeping secrets! (Though SURPRISES are quite fun. But that's an entirely different subject...)

While I can understand what you are saying turtle i can't really say that this seems to logical either. While sharing yourself can keep a persons interest and make them understand you it lasts for a short while, after that you begin to understand the person a bit too well, and that person becomes so predictable that you really don't want to hangout with them that much because there is no element of wonder or anything unpredictable or unexpected (something nearly all mariges suffer from, well on television at least). And since you brought up liking someone... if you like a person and you share yourself with them then yes it may bring the two individuals closer, but yet again for how long? I am a firm believer in the concept that not knowing is part of the fun that makes life worth living, and that i don't want to be told but i want to figure things out for myself and that is what brings me pleasure. Wether it is figuring out how a machine works, how to solve a complicated equation, why a person did something, how a person feels about something. While i understand some things can't be figured out (like past events) and need to be shared, those are only a small fraction of what most people (and i shall assume you are one of them) are talking about when you say share yourself. As you can see i don't easily accept someone elses opinion, i am not disagreeing with you either though, just showing you my point of view. If you feel that i am wrong in some way feel free to point it out (not like i could stop you).

Hmm.... something just occured to me. I may be in some way contradicting myself by posting this, saying that perhaps there is some purpose to sharing yourself with other as oposed to what i started out with, perhaps it is the effect of everyone's comments chipping away at me (and yes that includes you rat). Then again maybe its just another one of my continual changes of opinion. Either way just felt like adding that.

Good point about relationships needing unpridictabilities. Couples often do get into ruts. But that's more of a problem of people not trying new experiences. (See the thread about love, for more on that.) When all the world is unpredictable and often incomprehensibe, it's nice to have at least one person who you "get". (Though you'll NEVER have anyone all figured out, because people change. So there's always going to be some unpredictability in friendships.)

As far as logic? Hmmmm, lets see. Well, it's useful to have another individual who knows what you like and what you don't like, so when your birthday comes around you don't get a bag of bellybutton lint for a present (unless that's the sort of thing you like!). Honestly? I'd say that sharing yourself with others allows them to trust you. And having people around who trust you, and vice versa, can be very helpful as you make your way through life. It's hard enough to make it in this world, but when you're trying to do it all alone, it's just that much harder.

I have a hunch that you will likely change your feelings on this when you get a bit older. Relationships are so volatile when you are young. I can see why you are reluctant to trust people. Hell, I didn't either. But when you get a bit older (or should I say, when your friends get a bit older!) relationships will start being more stable.

One way or another I think you'll figure it out at some point. The fact that you are even thinking about all this means that you're a step ahead of the rest of the crowd.

Ok, finally! Sheesh, the parental units had to pick yesterday to punish me. Yeah, so Iodine thinks that I failed...but I don't think so. Iodine, I have learned a lot about you lately, seriously, I don't mean to be scaring you now(even though I probably am) but the more I know, the more I don't know, and you're right, its the reason why I like so many others are intrigued by you. I know my planned failed, but I'm not upset about not answering my question, I'm more sad because you don't trust me enough with your feelings to tell me. I mean, we arent best friends, but I would certainly like to try to get closer in our friendship, I am starting to take friendships seriously now as you know and its like should I be worried that you will stay at point A and never travel to point B? Haa hah haha ... I just realized how interesting this is. You get my mind off of a lot things, trying to analyze you and all. Its kinda pathetic...l
Speaking of which, I did succeed with my plan to break the wall of my ex. I did it before vday and now I understand things more about stuff. I am actually beginning to think that maybe we can have a non dysfunctional friendship. He is my best friend...its good that he will take the role seriously now... I guess...

hmm....
ok i am not confused
point a? point b? what in the world are you talking about ?
see if this were math i would know percisely what you are talking about
but it isn't
why can't life be as simple as math ? there would be far fewer problems that way