h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

hi liz.I think some men make a commitment ,but dont want to admit to it!!Do you ever wonder why your partner didnt bother finding a house of his own?Maybe he really wasn't that bothered that he was actually making a commitment by moving in.That's how i see it anyway,when you go to live with someone it isn't a decision you take lightly,and surely it crossed his mind..xxx

Hmm, that will be why all his furniture is still in storage will it? Why does he pay out money every month to keep all his stuff if he wants to live with me permanently? (this has been going on for nearly two years now) Why does the bill for this storage still go to his fathers address? Why does he hide things from me?

Why didn't he tell me that he was moving? He put all his furniture into storage and didn't tell me. He turned up at my house the night before he had to be out of his flat and if I hadn't offered to take him in, he would have had to have moved in with his Dad.

Doesn't seem like much commitment to me.

Mmmmmmmm,right then!! Looking at it that way i s'pose!.xxx

If you love somebody (and what does that even mean anyway?) then why not make a commitment to them? I just wonder why some people are so fearful of making a commitment? I have a job to get my bloke to commit himself to a night out!

As someone who is about to get married, I would say the main issue is not the act itself - the legal and fiscal consequences of getting married are becoming less and less important. It's an excuse for a party, nice for your aged relatives, and a new way to say I love you. But that's as far as it goes.

It's the decision to live together and to have children (especially the latter) that are really serious.

sprout

As one who has been married for nearly 24 years, and who is a Christian minister, I think I could bring the thing back to how it sould be, and claim some experience.

Whilst what non-Christians actually do is not going to affect their standing before God, they are lost anyway, it is going to affect their lives. Almighty God does not see people as individuals, in this regard. Marriage was made to reflect God: Father, Son, Holy Spirit - man, wife, child. He sees things as family units. Hence you see Satan promoting all sorts of ideas such as equals living together in 'partnership'.

The truth is that when you have sex with someone you marry them spiritually, and that is why you feel a strange bond with that person. If you ever go off with another person and have sex with them, you commit adultery. God's way with adulterers is execution, which will be carried out come Judgement Day.

Society is being wrecked by wrong models of marriage being propounded by the those with a vile agenda. God's model is, viginity before marriage, and fidelity within marriage. Everything outside that is perversion in the eyes of God. Most don't care what He thinks and are indulging in the device of 'denial' to make Him go away, but, ultimately, everyone meets Him.

Marriage is the sound building block of society. It provides a secure enviroment for the children to grow up in, and a solid building block for society as a whole. The problem with the free whoring/fornicating thing is that is destablises society, and the runaway rot-down you are seeing in society today, as in Gibbon's 'Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire', is a direct result of the free whoring/fornicating philosophy. Such a philosophy is based entirely on selfishness and the result is instability, in individual lives, and in society as whole.

British society is now in serious terminal decline, and this once strong and respected nation is going to become as low as any third world country. A large component of that is the free whoring/fornicating thing, which is now pretty well de rigeur, and is even taught in schools. Break down marriage and you destroy the society, Satan knows that, and this once God-honouring (though never Christian) country is a main target of his.

Brace yourselves! If you think things are bad now you will look back in twenty years time on these times as a golder era, if Christ does not return first.

Justin

Justin,
Are you saying that anyone who has had sex with more than one person will be condemned come judgement day?

Kelli,

Whoa! Don't know if you're hanging around AskH2G2 but I'm warning you now - be careful of debating with JtP - we are all servants of the devil (whether we know it or not), we are all sinners (unless we have been born again into a personal relationship with Jesus) and we are all damned come judegement day. That pretty much covers it.

Oh, and to you and your fella, I hope you have many happy years!

Jimbob

Hello Kelli,

Yes, except they repent and find Christ, and are born again. And then walk with Christ, free of sin, thereafter. The same is true for any sin, of course.

Justin

Stop hijacking threads Justin, we all know that we are all doomed and you are saved, we all know how you like to crow that over us in a must unchristian way. To be honest though, have you ever thought that maybe the reason we don't want to be saved is because we do not want to spend eternity anywhere near you?

Now go back to your own threads, you've started enough lately.

I'm rather old fashioned about marriage. I believe very strongly that it is a committment to be with one person, one person only, no matter what life throws at you. That's a very serious and very deep committment to make because life can be utterly and shamelessly awful some times.

I am married, having finally met someone I can truely spend the rest of my life with, and do not have a single regret over making the decision.

I think rather than ask why some people have a problem with committment, you should ask how seriously they take the concept of being married. Does it sound like an opportunity to build a relationship to last a lifetime or a prison sentence? What has their experience of marriage been? I looked back on my parents and grandparents, finding that in most cases if you have the right person then you can overcome almost any situation and hardship. I was lucky - none of my family believes in divorce unless there is a real need. Sometimes you have to work hard to make a marriage successful.

Something that was said at my wedding keeps coming back to me: a marriage is a lifetime of small forgivenesses. If you aren't prepared for your partner's imperfections, really think hard about making a lifetime's committment to them.

<...and that is why you feel a strange bond with that person.>

It's not supernatural, it's a change in the chemistry of the brain. Like hearing voices and stuff like that...

Noggin

Gradient,

Wise words that the selfish 'my satisfaction first' types will not want to hear!

J.

Gradient - Good for you! I would just like to say that I hope you realise how very lucky you are to have found the right person. I really hope you continue to be happy together.

You mention "If you aren't prepared for your partner's imperfections, really think hard about making a lifetime's committment to them". Exactly! But how can you know if you will be able to put up with them? My mother, who is soon to celebrate 40 years of squabbling with my father, is always saying "You have to make compromises." She is quite right, of course, but this does become a problem when one person is doing all the compromising.

Justin wrote: 'If you think things are bad now you will look back in twenty years time on these times as a golder era, if Christ does not return first.'

Erm, Justin, I thought the plan was that most of us are for the old Lake of Fire after the big J returns? If so, I think I'll look back on these times as a golden era all the more if he does return.

Meanwhile, here on our planet things are improving as your brand of sexual repression dies out, and I think this trend will continue. I expect civil marriages for gays will be the next push, and good for them.

Hed

Lizzbett;

Yes, I am definitely very lucky. But patience and persistence of faith have more to do with it. My wife and I were separated for ten months while we worked out how to get me to the USA to be with her on a permenant basis. If you can survive that a lot of other trials and tribulations just stop being important.

I suppose if you really want to be with that person you have no choice but to cope with whatever aspect of them annoys you. Some people apporach this with the mindset that the other person can be changed but this never, ever works. Especially with men .

Why not ask your father what compromises he has made to put up with your mother? You might be surprised. Sometimes men make huge compromises simply to get married.

My dad, for example, gave up everything he enjoyed and had worked for (a boat, or at least a share in one, a car and a deep interest in the theatre which he was never able to subsequently pursue) to become a husband and father. Was it a fair trade? Since I never heard him complain, I have to assume so.

I agree, Lizzbett. I (rather cheesily) try to think of 'compromise' as 'co-promise', ie I will let you watch Snooker/ do the washing up YOUR way/ repeatedly get sore-toe ointment on the carpet/ spend chunks of the weekend online/ grunt at me when you're in a bad mood/ be unable to cook stir-fry/ refuse to read Jane Austen/ not understand the metaphysical poets if you let me watch the rugby/ wash up MY way/ repeatedly get tea on the carpet/ talk my head and your ears off when I'm in a bad mood/ nag you about how you can't cook stir-fry properly/ read for hours on end at the weekend/ refuse to worship the god that is iMac/ not understand how an iPod works. Facile examples, I know. The BIG things, however, like religious beliefs, political opinions, how to raise kids, when (and if) to have kids, being possessive etc., these are the ones in which compromise can either break your heart and marriage, or find you your perfect soulmate. You have to be sure whether what you are giving up is worth the return, or whether you are giving away pieces of your own soul to someone who doesn't even realise what a treasure they are getting, because they have made themselves impervious to other people. They are not even bad, or mean, or particularly stupid, merely somehow blind to other people. With them I think the only solution is to put feet down, say no no no no no no and be utterly unbudgeable.

my girlfriend and I are currently exploring the 'joys' of a trans-atlantic relationship (Me UK , Her US). It's been going strong for 2 years now and marriage is something we've discussed in a sort of a "when we both get out of university - oh and hey maybe are on the same landmass" kind of ideal.

Still we've often said that if we can survive being apart for so long being together will be a) wonderful b) shouldn't throw up anything else we not capable of survivng together.

Justin,

If you truly believe all that stuff you wrote in posting 46 then why did you commit adultery yourself so often? (as you fully admit to in your public testamony).

I'm thinking of a nine-letter word beginning with H and ending in E.

az

Funny thing is, if he just said, "Look, I've been there, done that, and it's not worth the misery it causes," rather than ranting, most people would be more inclined to take him seriously.

Noggin