h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The fly bit reminds me of the joke that ends:
'Look - you've missed it!' 'Aye, but it'll nener have kids again'

Unfortunately, In can't currently record the rest of the joke.

However...I do know the joke that goes with another one:
There was a famous episode of Eastenders which opened with barman Wicksy telling a joke to someone. The very first line of the programe was the punchline '.....no - but it sure keeps the flies off my melon!!!'

What are all those Ns doing? For 'nener', read 'never'. For 'In' read 'I'

Statistics show that 100 percent of lottery winners gain weight.

*Jelly Belly* brand jelly beans (babies) were the first jelly beans planned to go into space. They were unfortunately aboard the Challenger and no subsequent jelly bean has been chosen.

My middle name is Thomas

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Ooh, shudder - poor guy! (My ex husband has only one - he lost the other owing to poor nursing practice, after an accident and bad subsequent wound care. Truly! When we got married I was so ignorant of normal male anatomy, I didn't know until he told me!)

I always say fora (though Microsoft word doesn't allow it!) and indices, but that's because my Mum did, and brought us up that way.
What are the plurals? (Except opera, of course...)

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I want some!

Plurals? No idea in their own languages. But in English, they all end in S! Same as 'forums' and 'agendas'.

Except opera of course!

I still don't understand all this banter about the plural of opera.

<biggrin.

The second Saturday in September is usually a popular time for weddings. Not in 2004, as most couples did not want their anniversaries on September 11.

Each year, more people are killed by teddy bears than by grizzly bears.

If you disassembled the Great Pyramid of Cheops, you would get enough stones to encircle the earth with a brick wall twenty inches high.

A Brussels Airlines flight to Vienna was aborted because the pilot was attacked in the cockpit. The attacker was a passenger's cat, who got out of its travel bag.

The Nike swoosh was designed by a Portland State University student, and purchased by Nike for $35.

Some dogs can predict when a child will have an epileptic seizure, and even protect the child from injury. They're not trained to do this, they simply learn to respond after observing at least one attack.

This is another from my book...

A can of Diet coke will float in water, while a can of regular Coke sinks.

Anyone like to test this?

Emmily

Does the same rule apply to pepsi?

Cans of lager float. Very handy info if you like camping on a river with whitewater rafters... just wait down stream from a nice waterfall.