h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Chairs Missing

I'd argue with you, but I make it a rule never to get into a battle of wits with an unarmed person.


Twain- Never argue with a fool, no one can tell the difference.

He/she couldn't empty a boot full of *urine* if the instructions were printed on the heel.

That's creeping into blonde joke teretory

If you had half a brain you'd walk with a limp.

If brains were s*** you'd smell like a rose.

One olive short of a pizza.

"If brains were dinamite you couldn't blow your own nose"

In general terms...

He/She was at the back of the queue when they were handing out brains.

And knowing that one, others follow based on age and gender...

Of the office boy - he was in the zit queue all along.
Handsom male boss/colleague - he got one but traded it in for a dick/muscles etc.
Very pretty colleague - someone told her that looks were important too and she took them literally.
One who sucks up to the boss - He/she went back to the tongue queue twice.

Others that come to mind.

I see the penthouse is still for rent.

What do you keep in there anyway?

Where you born that way or have you had lessons?

I can feel the tidal forces from here.

Oh look! Light bends when it comes around their head

Mr and Mrs Villiage-Idiot and the kids - The have to hold hands to synapse/think.
They keep the brain in a bucket and take turns.

and so on...

turvy

he/she's not a half-wit. That would require further study.

Usually applied to myself when confused
"It's not my turn for the brain today!"

Then there's the good old Robin Reliant.

'hasn't read the whole backlog'

I once described an aquaintance of mine as 'he'd be a pr*t in any language'

So intellectually challenged he has to shake his head to get a synapse?

were you dropped on your head as a child? i don't mean once i, i mean for a whole day.

You'd have to stay up nights and *practice* to be that stupid.

he is two chromosomes short of a fly, but his brain gives a perfect genetic match.

Ithangyou

It's what my Latin teacher used to berate particularly thick people with...fortunately, I wasn't as bad at Latin as he thought I was - indeed I think I surprised him by scoring B in my O level.

maybe he was a textbook short of an exam.

Sadly not...although he was several hairs short of a combover...