h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

When I was at school we had a bloke that lurked in the bushes when the girls were doing cross-country - he had a tendency to jump out and 'surprise' groups of girls. They laughed, he slunk away.

>>>The other time wasn't really flashing, but happened a few months ago - sitting in french conversation, the boy opposite me was - well I thought he was sitting on a drumstick (I'm innocent, leave me alone), before I realised that he was playing with himself. I was a bit disgusted, because we were in the library, in a lesson, but not really traumatised.<<<

Which reminds me of a rather amusing video interview and a trashy piece of sensationalist journalism...

http://www.wkyc.com/news/news_article.aspx?storyid=52623

Forgot to add: Magwich, you would've been 12.

an interesting discussion, particularly the bit from SpaceCadette about what the flasher gets from it.

Who knows why those who flash do it? Probably as many reasons as flashers. Certainly the control thing is high up on the list. As may be feelings of social or sexual exclusion.

What you can't underestimate is the power of the sex drive, especially when it is combined with a desire for assertion of control and authority.

I have to admit if I saw someone do this, and I can't say I ever have, then I would make sure they were reported to the police. For one you never know who they may do it to, or have done it to, who it has affected. And secondly they obviously have some issue that needs resolving which they are not dealing with themselves.

I find it strange the amount of social transgression that goes on that is sexually related to be honest.

Like the fact that London Underground have undercover female officers whose job it is to travel at peak times, particularly in summer, to deal with those who think it is acceptable to grab a handful, or rub up against or whatever. Just seems strange to me that there must be so much of this going on for the requirement to be there.

I'd have thought the fear of being arrested for sexual assault, or simply the embarrassment of the person being so assaulted standing up and asking you loudly to kindly remove your hand would be more than enough deterrent, even if common human decency and respect for ones fellow beings wasn't. Why do they think they'll get away with it? And do they get away with it?

Because my posts above were so long, I didn't mention two other stories. One I find amusing - I was about 19, walking across Victoria Station with my mother. Someone grabbed my boob. I looked around but couldn't see anyone - goodness knows how they got away so quickly, and also how they managed to aim so accurately in that split second.

Now I'm too old for that to happen to me.




The other one involves a relative of mine who was woken by a noise in the early hours. This was in the States - Arizona or Louisiana, rather rural and quite open houses, I think. She first went to check the nursery where her baby was sleeping, and saw a man just climbing out of the window. As far as I know, nothing had happened to the child, nor was any damage done, but this violation of her privacy gave her such a shock (later that day - delayed action) that she's never really recovered and hs been in psychiatric treatment ever since.

And there was no sexual assault involved, just an unwelcome visitor.

So some people react sensitively where others spring into defensive action or laugh it off. It's like lots of things, such as beauty or ugliness - "in the eye of the beholder".

When my daughter was in 7th grade (approximately 12 years of age) she and her classmates were on a bus going on a field trip. She and about 3 of her girlfriends were looking at this car that was pulling up next to the bus. The man was sure that he got the girls attention and then proceed to unzip his pants and fondle his bits. The girls were at first horrified and then ticked off so they proceeded to write down the car type, the license plate number and a description of the man. When they got to school the police were called and they tracked the man down and convicted him. Don't mess with 12 year old girls!

when I was 15 (and at boarding school - we had day-girls too) there were a couple of rapes and sex attacks. After fencing club one evening 4 of us sat outside the school gates waiting for one of the day-girls' mums to collect her.

A guy in a flaser mac (yep, original) flashed us, and we reported him to the police. The actual flash wasn't so bad because there were 5 of us,but if I'd been alone I would have been very worried. But the questions the police asked just made me giggle a lot. We were asked (individually) to describe exactly what he did, if his penis was erect or not etc etc.

But he was caught after a few days.

The next time I was flashed I was 18. My friend lived above a shoe-shop, and her door was at the side of the building in a passage between two shops. One winter evening I was waiting for her to answer the door (she had to walk down 2 flights of stairs) a guy came into the passage. He was wearing a balaclava (ski mask thing, with only eye holes and a small hole for the mouth) and a leather jacket. he then proceeded to get out his ... you know, thing, which looked bloomin' enormous. He was sliding one hand up and down it, and reaching out towards me with the other.

I was about to let out an almighty scream when my friend's boyfriend appeared and chased after him.

That has left me with a suspicious nature, and I am always ready for something like that to happen again.

I know this is only a small sample, but it gives me the impresson that a lot of flashing goes on. My feeling is that the flashers probably fall into two categories - those simply wishing to show off & those who do have a real psychological problem.

Here's my story. Aged about 20, Winter afternoon indoors with the light on but curtains not yet drawn, I heard a knock on the window. Went to look & saw a man in the garden who whipped open his coat, then ran off. Too dark for me to see anything of note! I was surprised as much as anything, but realising he was headed in the direction of a local school whose pupils would soon be emerging, I did report the incident to the police. I declined to press charges should they find him & I never heard any more about it.

Flashing is intrusive & quite different from a chance view of someone who happens to be fully or partly nude. Actual physical assault is even more serious & offenders should be pursued, but I do think the treatment of the victim has a significant impact on how they cope with it. I do wonder if it's the parent's adverse reaction to an assault on their child can cause damage as much as the assault itself.

>...and I am always ready for something like that to happen again.<

Such a choice of inappropriate comments...

Whether or not there is a connection between someone who 'flashes' who may then go on to rape I have no idea.

But in terms of the effect I think there is often all the difference in the world. Like I mentioned in a previous post, the first time it happened to me was when I was 12 at school. I was with a group of other children and we felt completely safe. But it was the subsequent police involvement that upset me. I remember sitting in the living room with my mother with a police officer who asked me the colour of his under pants, and the name I used for his male genital. It was horrible.

The way I viewed it was this person must have been pathetically desperate to need to exhibit himself. He seemed to be the 'victim', not me. But the police officer's questions made me feel horribly vulnerable. I think the whole thing of 'flashing', rather than an actual physical attack needs to be clearly differentiated and a lot more intelligent sensitivity shown.

I still think of 'flashers' now as being pathetically inadequate individuals because they have to do that in such an inappropriate setting.

It's a difficult and ambiguous kind of assault, but much more sensitivity and intelligence needs to be shown by people in terms of their reaction to it, and whether they are not just reacting because of their own fears and attitudes.

SpankMunki:
we are not all native English speakers... as a Swede, I would struggle a little to describe how one is always alert, in the case of something like that happening...

On the other hand, I can't believe anyone would *want* it to happen at any time, so this is probably a dumb comment too.

Det var bara ett skämt (I was only joking, for TPTB).

I pointed out that Sho seems to be waiting in eager anticipation for the next flasher

"It's a difficult and ambiguous kind of assault, but much more sensitivity and intelligence needs to be shown by people in terms of their reaction to it, and whether they are not just reacting because of their own fears and attitudes. "

Are you suggesting that the victim of a flasher is somehow wrong to be frightened? That there is not enough intelligence displayed in that reaction?

The most serious flashing incident I have experienced was in a subway and the bloke was very obviously masturbating. I was old enough to laugh, but I was scared, it was intimidating. I don't believe I would have found it so scary if I had been with someone or had a mobile phone or it had been outside of a subway.

In London on a train I sat next to a man masturbating under a raincoat and magazine, didn't really bother me. On another occasion I sat opposite a man 'flashing' a very large spanner with an evil look in his eye. Whether its a spanner or a penis, its an act meant to intimidate.

As for being groped, just go to any nightclub which plays dance music and you will be groped very intimately. Sometimes I wasn't in the mood and would use it as an excuse to try new swear words, sometimes I took it as a compliment. If it happened on the dance floor though, they would get hit, as I am a good dancer and need my space. The hitting only happened cause they got too close.

I was groped last week in a shopping centre, having occasional mobility problems right now means I cannot get out of the way of people and the guy took it as an opportunity. It annoyed me, but no lasting damage.

Having spent some of my younger days on nudist beaches I have no problem with nudity, except when it is being 'forced' on someone who does not want it, or it is being used in a intimidatory fashion. At Uni so many students flashed for fun, there is a definate difference, in the intention, when all around understand the intention and are cool with it.

Some years ago, my cousin's daughter was flashed. Her immediate response was to say "Poor thing is that all you've got!"

My favourite phrase in the rugby club baths "Oh, it looks like a penis, only smaller".

Re Fanny's experience of being grilled by the police - that's an area that needs a lot of sensitivity, so that victims can provide as much detail & evidence as possible to help catch offenders, without the victim feeling sullied and that it's a huge trauma, if that's not how they immediately perceive it.

>>Are you suggesting that the victim of a flasher is somehow wrong to be frightened? That there is not enough intelligence displayed in that reaction?<< fatkelli

When and where have I suggested it's wrong to be frightened? I thought I made it crystal clear that I'm referring to the 'intelligence' of those dealing with someone who has experienced flashing. Is it not clear from my posts that I was most traumatised by the questioning of the police officer.

Fanny, the end of your post where you say flashers are pathetic etc reads like you think they deserve sympathy and that *they* should be responded to differently. I agree with you that the victims of flashing should be treated with sensitivity

I was flashed at on the tube, was never sure if it was intentional or if the guy didn't realise that a)he'd fallen out of his shorts and b) appeared very please with the new arrangement.

Was groped walking home from work by a man who followed me. I punched him, hard in the face to make him let g of me before running away. Turned out that he had attacked other women, some much more seriously

>>Fanny, the end of your post where you say flashers are pathetic etc reads like you think they deserve sympathy and that *they* should be responded to differently<<

I don't understand how you read it that way. I was making a point about MY reaction, not saying others should feel like me. I was a 12 year old child and didn't feel traumatised at all by some silly man pathetically showing his willy. it did NOT feel threatening to me, just profoundly pathetic. Some police officer grilling me about his underpants and what I called his willy did. It was the adult teachers' hysterical reaction and calling the police that upset me. I had no choice in the matter. i would have much preferred to have gone off and had a good giggle about it with my mates. Like I said more intelligence and sensitivity should be shown.

i really don't know where you have read in my post that I have suggested that flashers deserve sympathy. i would have thought I had made it clear that they deserve contempt.