h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'll add to that adopting a sideways posture to eat to avoid dropping your meal on the baby. It gets worse as they get more curious & stop feeding to see what you're doing

Yes I often got drops of sweet and sour sauce or gravy on my baby's head by accident!

"I often got drops of sweet and sour sauce or gravy on my baby's head by accident!"

Just as well you only get to eat lukewarm food anyway then

Yes, perhaps that is an evolutionary mechanism that babies have develpoed!

I'm not sure it was the intention, but i'd like to thank all the contributors to this thread for confirming that there is no way on Bod's green earth that I want rug rats.

bet you're still practising for how to get them though

It's OK, Blues I've done my bit for the human race and yours too

i would love to have a baby of my own. but im only 20, a student and unmarried so will have to wait a few years. though i do have a niece or nephew on the way!

That'll do nicely to stave off your maternal instinct until you're loved up & settled

I can't recall the first nappy I ever changed - almost 28 years ago. I can recall the baby was beautiful though - even the matron said she was the prettiest baby she'd ever seen.

I was still smarting from the stitches thoughso didn't really appreciate her while taking my daily salt-water-bath, then sitting on a rubber ring.

I can recall washing the nappies (no such thing as "disposable" or "scented nappy bags" in those days) and neither did I have the luxury of a microwave oven.

Hot dinner? Hot drink? Don't think I had one of either for about 8 years...

The best way to do it nicky - that way you can still have all the fun, take them out, play with them (and their toys), spoil them etc - and you get to hand them back when they cry/ soil themselves/ throw up.

WARNING: they'll still keep you poor but you'll enjoy it more

(yes, this IS the voice of experience )

Sorry if that last post was a bit harsh - I should point out that my parents are glad they had kids, because Annie's Taxi is at their disposal and the four of us treat them like Royalty, and they dote on their grandkids & great-grandson, of course if you don't have kids you lose out (speaking as a grandma) on that great pleasure.

But there's no guarantee that your kids wouldn't turn out to be selfish b******s who bleed you dry and never give you a backward glance (and I have known people this happened to) as they head off into the big bad

Well it’s certainly confirmed most of my views on the matter. No ankle biters in my house thank you very much. I’ll stick with being Auntie if I ever get the chance; and even then I’ll wait until they’re out of nappies.

And if you don't like your siblings much you can offer to take the little ones for a couple of hours, feed them sugary stuff and fizzy pop, offer to buy them a puppy, and send them home again

thats a great idea!!!

unfortunately my brother lives a 2 hour drive away from me and i dont drive so i have to spend slightly more than that on the train so i wont see the little one much.

will have to spoil them when i can!

>> feed them sugary stuff and fizzy pop, offer to buy them a puppy, and send them home again<<

Just one thing missing there - send them home with a noisy toy

Both my younger brothers, whose own breeding programmes began much later in life than my own, used to give my kids the most appallingly noisy toys for Xmas and birthdays.

I am slowly getting my revenge

noisy toys?

i think i can buy them!

Anything involving glue or paint is also good value. You can always claim it's 'educational'

Another good trick is to visit your nieces or nephews about an hour before their bedtime. Arm yourself with plenty of sweets containing lurid artificial colourings and other additives - then spend an hour getting them totally wound-up, over-excited and hyperactive - and then bu**er-off and leave their parents to deal with the ensuing mess.

(I've never actually had the heart to do this - a tad too even for me)

<>

That comment reminded me of this . . .

http://public.fotki.com/azahar/stuff/unattendedchildren.html


az

Seem to remember being warned once that babies were a loud noise at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other,

wish I'd taken the warning more seriously

Funnily enough, I changed my first nappy nearly 28 years ago too - and I'm still changing them today.

My mum fostered kids all the time when we were kids, and I was learning to change nappies and feeding babies from a very early age - my maternal instinct was being fulfilled quite nicely.

Now my son is 11, but I've got a neice and a nephew in nappies still, and another one on the way!