h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I may be opening a can of small wriggly things here, but is it just me that gets hacked off with their neigbours using nuclear powered machines to cut their grass with?
My next door neighbour has one that sounds like Concorde taking off and his grass never gets above 1/2 a millimetre high.
I only use a hand powered one, its good exercise, environmentally friendly and damned good looking to boot.

When I have a garden, I fully intend to get a couple of bunnies to mow the lawn, a good, quiet, environmentally sound alternative!

Are you two trying to make the goat redundant? What about the Sheep! Just imagine the welsh hills covered with lawn mowers. WHAT WERE THEY THINKING OF!!!

... or bunnies for that matter. How completely wardrobe.

I plan to have a lawn some day and after considering the options of rabbits/guinea pigs (foxes might get em), sheep (I don't know enough about them to take that level of responsibility), goats (they eat everything including the washing) geese (they poop everywhere) swans (too aggressive and belong to the Queen) I have decided to get a bunch of ducks, install a largish "wildlife" pond (I love frogs and newts) and train the dog to protect the ducks.

This I will achieve after many years of procrastination after my lawn has turned itself into a microjunglic environment (and yes, I did just make that word up!)

* looks out of window to nice fully patio-ed back yard *

I don't wish to put you off, but duck ponds tend to end up with not much else living in them. You'd be better off mowing your lawn and composting the cuttings. If you want frogs and newts, don't put fish in - they'll eat the eggs. Fish may eventualy be introduced by eggs sticking to birds feet who then drink from your pond, but otherwise I'd steer clear.

Microjunglic. Very nice.

Look I'm the original housework slut and I realised a long time ago that having a garden is like have a huge big living room which every critter in the area uses for a midden or for a feeding trough.If it were left to me I'd concrete all 100 yards of mine and just have plant pots.I hate mowing and weeding.It's as unproductive as vacuuming and dusting which also need to be done as constantly.

Incog.

*has just replaced the expensive, gas driven, oil-sputtering, noisy, smelly, hard to start, 6 horse-power, got to go fill the can with gas again, check the oil, did i mention hard to start...lawnmower...

with a cheap, light, quiet, switch-on...or off, no maintenance
bright orange ELECTRIC instant lawnmower.*

need i say more?

alec.

Jessie - do you live next door to me by any chance?

I'm a bit disturbed that this thread was initiated at almost exactly the same time as I started mowing the lawn.

B

of solidarity for Big Jessie.

I can't decide whic is worse - neighbour on the left, who has a petrol driven-outboard motor type thing, or neighbour on the right with a high-pitched whining electrical thing - neither of which are good news on a Sunday morning when you've got a hangover.

More later - baby's going

A good lawnmower will have done its job in 10 minutes though.

What I hate is my neighbour who isists on doing their entire lawn with a strimmer!
It takes *all day* to do his lawn with this and the constant buzzing really does get on your tits after a while. I've even offered to lend him mine before but this has been politely declined. I might just stick his strimmer where the sun don't shine next time"
I reckon he'd be quicker using a scythe or shears.

I'm gonna stick with bunnies!

Concrete over my garden (when I have one), I have spent years fantastising about having my own mini park with trees and stuff, which I don't have to share with anybody (apart from that loony Moonglum), concrete indeed!

In my experience concrete or paving slabs are just as much work as a lawn

You swap mowing it once a week (or less) for sweeping in clean and weedkilling those little bit's of grass and dandelions that grow through the cracks. Not to mention the tonnes of leaves that end up their during the autumn.
Of course you can not bother but then it looks like a waste dump.

And concrete is rubbish for getting to your pagan roots, in every sense of the word!

Yes Master B I'M WATCHING!!!!!!!!!!!

Did someone mention Scythe?

I thought of getting one and going out in the evening with a black cloak on to put the fear of god into my annoying neighbours.

I like the noise that old fashioned push mowers have. It's sort of swishy, slicy and choppy at the same time and it has a soporific effect if the person mowing establishes a good rhythm. Swish, slice, chop, swish, slice, chop...

I think of it in the same terms as Eddie Izzard thinks of carpet sweepers as hodder-hodders, because that's the noise they make as they sweep...hodder, hodder, hodder...

Sounds vaguely interesting. Shall I bring some tissues, it could get messy...