h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

After browsing through the interesting and timely questions posted on this forum, I noticed that no one has asked the following:

If a man and a half can build a house and a half in a day and a half, how long will it take a one legged grasshopper to kick all the seeds out of a dill pickle?

My God, doesn't anyone understand the importance of this?

Please advise!

Four hours and 23 minutes assuming good weather conditions and a sensible pair of trousers. How can you not know this?

Sorry, I probably should have, but have been overwhelmed by the issue itself. At the asylum, er, I mean HOSPITAL that I live, no...where I WORK, the doctors, er, ASSOCIATES all tell me that I have issue problems.

But I do thank you for the answer (it has put my mind at ease). Unfortunately, it leaves so many others unanswered. For example, what would a one legged grasshopper do with the other trowser leg, and how does October 15th affect the overall performance?

Given that a one legged grasshopper would under normal circumstances require a pair of trousers with 6 legs then he would probably be happy that the trousers have only one spare leg so as not to draw too much attention to his unhappy predicament.
I do not believe that October 15th has any significant effect on the performance but I think that the vintage of the vinegar might have.

P.S. The question that this raises in my mind is 'If a pair of trousers has more than two legs is it still called a pair?'.

Hmm, good question. I suppose that, given the fact that a "pair" of trousers, shorts, and the like are singular to begin with, the existence of additional legs would have no effect on the nomenclature.

This assumes of course, that the vinegar is of the highest quality, that it has not been opened, and that the number 835674 does not appear anywhere on the bottle.

(Phew, just looking at that number sends chills down my spine!)

835674









Scared ya!

Argh!

Could I just inquire, what would be a sensible pair of trousers? Some leggins maybe? Or posibbly some nice corduroy slacks?

A sensible pair of trousers would be a pair that had or showed good sense or judgement. I would have thought it was obvious that the type of the trousers had no direct influence upon their sensibility.
A sensible bottle of vinegar would be more difficult to define but it almost certainly would not have that number on it. Otherwise someone might ask 'why do you have that silly number on you?' to which it would have to reply 'I have no good reason therefore I cannot be seen as a sensible bottle of vinegar'.

How about this: If you're flying over the Grand Canyon in a canoe and your wheels fall off, how many pancakes does it take to build a doghouse?

29 but only if you use jiff lemon on them

If you use fresh lemon juice you only need 16.

Don't forget the sugar! You need to mix it with the lemon juice to produce the mortar to bind the pancakes together. The type of sugar makes a difference, too. Granulated sugar gives coarser mortar than caster sugar.

does brown sugar or sugar cubes make a difference

Well obviously you should use cubes for the roof

Brown sugar for the insulation?

Brilliant!!! 10 points to Flamestrike! Can't have the ducks getting colds!

and you've got to flip it too, otherwise it'll all come to pieces

But today is a sunday - isn't it 9 points?

Would abandoning the building and insulating the feet protect the ducks better. but you would face extended cost with the geese though

Of course you're right it's 9 points, but I'll give you the extra one for being so honest.

Those geese are always causing havoc with the accounts!