h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

He is only four years younger than his father was when he died and he's starting to get scared and instead of being able to do what he wants to do he is stuck with my dysfunctional family.

You're *not* a useless article. Don't beat yourself up over this, it isn't your fault.

Haven't really got any advice (only a young'un) but sending a big

Missy

"You're *not* a useless article. " I second that.

You're not the one causing the problem LG, don't forget that. You're the one coping with it.
Waz

For what it's worth, I agree with thw above posts.

Stay strong.

Its not wrong to stand up for yourself and to live your own life. Yes, parents growing older is difficult, but you have to live your own life first. I hated my parents for some years, did my own thing, they constantly threatened to dis-own me! I challenged them to stop threatening and do it, I had left home 6 years before so what a threat!

Anyway, now I love them to bits, even though they infuriate me at times. But I am very glad I left home when I did, as otherwise, we may have killed each other!

Sorry for the misunderstanding. There should have been inverted commas around that. It's a phrase they have always used about me. They also think I am downright evil and more than half insane.
My poor mother has had a very hard cross to bear and everyone that knows her has a great deal of sympathy for her.
They all pray for her every day.

I know I am not a useless article. I have a lot of friends she knows nothing about (because she would definitely not approve of them) who love me.

Even two or three of THEM don't believe I'm all bad, or if they do they hide it well. Those are the ones I couldn't bear to lose. The rest could go to hell in a handbasket as far as I'm concerned.

Please don't think I'm a poor unhappy doormat or something. Since I had to stop work I have been fighting a guerilla war. Every time I go into my kitchen I put everything back where we, the people that actually do the cooking, want it and every time I come back upstairs she puts it all back where she wants it. Then I wait for her to go upstairs and I go down and ......... pathetic huh?

And as for riding naked through the streets of Coventry - I've done everything but.

It's just that four years ago the doctors couldn't understand why I wasn't in a wheelchair and they said I definitely would be within two years (And I'm NOT, so there ) but it means that even if she doesn't actually outlive me she'll definitely outlive my useable life, and now that I'm at home all day I don't have any excuses to go out and get away from her and everyone thinks I'm really horrible because I don't drive her to church every day (and all sorts of other things like shopping) and there's absolutely no way I'm ever going to let them know that 1) we can't afford the petrol and 2) I'm in too much pain and it just isn't fair to expect my poor husband to put up with all the stress and the bad atmosphere as well as all the extra work he has to do because I can't.

Sorry. end of rant.

Whenever we get any time alone we make silly unrealistic plans to escape and I was just wondering whether it might ever be possible.

Most of you are people I have encountered before and I know you are nice, decent, sensible people whose opinions are eminently worthy of respect and not one single person has said it would be wrong to leave
(Even Wand'rin )so I feel a lot less guilty about wanting to.

Thank you. Thank you all very much.

Do you think they would allow me to access h2g2 from prison Kaz?

"not one single person has said it would be wrong to leave"

It would be *right* to leave, Lady G. It is clearly the right thing to do. There are more people to be considered in this scenario than your mother. Yourself and your husband for instance.

No wonder you're ill with all this stress .

Ste

I have worked my way through all the above and I have to agree, you have taken more than enough of your mother.

You sound as if you have really tried your best to resolve the situation, however I think that just upping and leaving without one final attempt at straightening things out would leave you feeling guilty.

It occurs to me as if you could do with some kind of professional family counselling. Your local CAB should have an address or phone number for such a service.

If this fails for whatever reason, then you really have done everything you can.

Would be a nice situation.
Mum comes back from holliday and finds the house occupied by new people (if possible Hell's Angels)

Members of the BNP

Or a commune of pagan nudists practising free love in public.

Crossdressing bi-sexual atheist COMMUNISTS.

Five or six years isn't too long to wait, as long as there's light at the end of the tunnel.

Five or six DAYS is too long to wait if it's contributing to your sickness/unhappiness. My mother was also a creaking gate, but she lasted nearly ten years after I took myself and my children to the other side of the world.Please get out and spend some time with your husband. The guilt you are feeling now will be unbearable if he DOES die young.
I thought from your original post that you were much younger. You have already given your old *** at least 20 years than many others would have done. Untangle yourselves financially and legally as soon as possible and get out . My very best wishes

They might Lady Godiva! fancy giving it a try?!

We'll be knocking down a wall this weekend. Perhaps I could ask her not to get in the way. Then I'd have the defence that I DID warn her.......

And she even may defiantly sit against the wall.
"Nobody tells ME where I may not sit!"

We'll back up you in court LG!

One of the writers of Birds Of A Feather (Maurice Gram or something) said "I hate my parents and I went through three years of therapy to be able to say that".

I was interested to see that Guru resurrected this one. What DID you do?