h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

You suck slati marty etc. Get into the spirit of things!

Darth Maul was a non character. He should have done something really nasty early on for us to really hate him. (Like the baddy in 48 hours who shoot the cop even when the gun is handed over, or the guy who buries the girl alive in Dirty Harry). I htink he comes across as some sort of honourable warrior who may be slightly misunderstood.

Driven mad by a bad dentist maybe?

Charlie,

Wish I'd started this Yoda thing, I don't. Giving me headache, so it be

Sorry about my evil and dumb side, I just can't control it...
Now calm down everyone because I'm a huge Star Wars fan myself but I just thought that that question was REALLY "dull" (even for a Star Wars fan and however that question was meant)...

Why ask how light sabers are made or how you could probably construct a light saber in reality (or fiction or whatever)? It's just an item from a sci-fi movie!! Well, I could go on and ask how those spaceships or shields work or how something that big as the Death Star could enter hyperspace (I'm pretty sure it was capable of that) or even how the Force "work" and I'm also sure someone would come up with an seriously meant answer to those questions and that would really make me laugh... why get that much into it?

It's fiction, accept it or ignore it but please don't ask too much questions about those details because I think they destroy the magic around that matter and that magic makes fiction attractive... I think it's at least as stupid as analyzing humor or love... for Lucas' sake, let's keep those mysteries unsolved (except for the Sith ones, of course)...

And I officially apologize to Researcher 54835 for attacking him that way, I was just pissed that day, shame on me...

Oh, by the way, did someone see Spielberg's E.T. next to the Wookies during that senate debate in the Phantom Menace?

The Phantom Menace is Darth Sidious, who will turn out to be the Emperor we oldies love to hate, I betcha. Agreed, D. Maul was mostly a waste of space, except as a foil for the Twirly stuff. BTW, my kids made a double-ended light sabre by painting a long poster tube and adding glitter - what more do you need? They are virtual weapons anyway; when you see the guys filming they've got plastic swords (99p in Toymaster) to twirl. They Lucas gets his electronic doodaas out and puts in the "real" ones.

Of course Sidious will become the Emporer. He is Senator Palpatine in The Phantom Menace and in episodes 4,5 and 6 the Emporer is called - you guessed it - Emporer Palpatine. Even though this fact is blatently obvious I still get people telling me that Palpatine is not the second Sith lord from the Phantom Menace. Duh!

OK, OK, so I had by hearing aid turned off when they said that. I'm not so far gone that I've read the BOOKS!

Slarty Marty,
I think I'm the guy who got most pissed off at you, so I suppose I should be the one to say thanks for bothering to apologise. It would have been easier to keep quiet and change your name. It's appreciated. Oh, and yes, I saw ET in the Senate. However, the friend I was with swears he saw Indiana Jones in the crowd at the Pod Race. Did you? Did anyone else? My friend also says that if you stay until the end of the credits, you get to hear a single Darth Vader asthmatic breath. I never watch credits so I don't know.

I haven't read the books either - as if thats such a crime - I know this because many years ago I purchased a damn good computer game called Tie Fighter which went onto spawn many other classics. So watch it!

Well, I've read the books, and - well, erm, isn't the official spelling Lightsab_er_? Not re?
Hey - it's me!

A life.. hmm... I used to have one of those, but I packed it away in a box and now I can't remember which box it's in, or which attic, for that matter.

Argghh!! What is this monster that I have created?!

It's called a thread. You have lost control. Nothing you do can stop it. I think you are the second Sith. Disprove it.

No he can't be the second Sith lord. Thats already sorted out with several-million-dollars-worth of film. What he could be though is a very well disguised Jabba the Hut? And this thing he has created is a Ravinous-Blood-Blatter-Beast-of-Trall. 'Cause they're super evlotionary speicies right. And this damn thing keeps on evolving from one thing to the next. I mean, it started out with a relativly straight forward question about light saber/res and now look at it!

I'm actually Indiana Jones in disguise. A Lucasfilms crossover created me a few years back.

Well paint we pink a call me Simon. Indiana Jones eh? Raided any lost Arcs recently?

Nope, people ran out of different ideas for them, so instead I just went and obliterated the entire Nazi army with a small aubergine, with help from a three-legged dog (who shall remain nameless for copyright reasons).

Not at all, as can be seen at:

http://satori.pastiche.org/~cmiller/showart.php3?art=A000014

And that aubergine went on to become president of Turkey and lived happily ever after....?