h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

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Pronouncing the short o as the modern "u" lives on in words like conjuror and constable, which have supplied endless gags for the likes of Jim Davidson.

what's even worse, to my mind, are the places which have 'posh' names. Like Esher and so forth. But the one that made me laugh was in derbyshire (I think) called Sommercoates. Summer Coats you might think, yes? But no, not to the wanna be posh set. To them it is som-mer-ca-teas with tthe accent on 'so' and 'ca'. Very odd.

>Can I just say that Canterbury is pronounced Cant-er-berry.<

By the locals? Blimey.

The first syllables in Tonbridge and Tunbridge Wells are pronounced the same. Fashionable Tunbridge Wells decided to respell itself with a 'u'. The 'o' started being used instead of 'u' in the Middle Ages in words like 'Tonbridge', 'London' and 'month' as scribes had trouble differentiating between the then similarly written letters u, n and m.

In Sussex there's Chichester, pronounced pretty much as spelt: Chitchister. Then there's Cuckfield, pronounced 'Cookfield', but also Uckfield, which becomes rude if you stick the f at the front.

I was going to mention Milngavie (Mulguy), only I see pedro7 beat me to it. Milngavie is a posh suburb. The folk there think that sex is something you get coal in.

To the other side of Glasgow there's Strathaven, pronounced Strayven. Famous for its toffee.

And several times I've heard English folk tell me that the Scots pronounce Greenock with a short e (Grenock). They don't.

One time I was listening to University Challenge. Some fool from Oxford was asked a biblical question and gave the answer as 'Mary Maudlin' (Oxford college, Magdalen, pr. Maudlin)

Similarly, Cambridge has Gonville and Gaius: Gonville and Keys.

They only do it to set themselves apart from the oiks!


Slightly off topic:
My favourite placename is Ecclefechan. The locals abbreviate it: 'What time's the 'fechan bus?'

Oh...and...Stalbans (Storrbins) and St. Evenage.

The bus joke reminds me of a guy I know who (allegedly) got arrested in Israel while working on a kibbutz, supposedly for asking a soldier 'What time's the bus due?'

Slightly off topic, but Chichester reminds me that some towns have nicknames. Chichester is "Chi" (pronounced like the first three letters of "chime"). Speaking of chimes, down the A27 is Portsmouth, where the town, not just the football club, is nicknamed Pompey.

I know there are a few more out there.

well Bridlington is always refered to up that way as 'Brid'

...and Swadlingcote (Swad-lin-cut) is always called 'Swad'.

Barnard Castle (Durham) is nicknamed "Barney"

And what's wrong with Pompey (Apart from the spineless Milan Mandric), I think the clubs nickname came from the town's nickname and for some odd reasone the town (And club) crest is the Star and Crescent of Islam

Towns with two names:

Stroke City (Londonderry/Derry)

OK, so I have to admit that when I first moved into this area I pronounced 'Towcester' as it's spelt A silly name, but I imagine the town predates the electrical appliance.

Tintwistle more generally known in the area as tinsle

Ah! So that's where they mean by 'Tintwistletown'!

No?

I've just had a flashback...

We were driving around the Troodos mountains in Cyprus, in search of a church that we'd been told had a perticularly finely painted ceiling (hey...it was something to do!). We were totally lost, until we changed on a 'traditional' goatherder (baggy trousers, enormous moustache), and luckily my guess at the Greek word for 'church' turned out to be correct (eglissia). He ponted us down the valley, where we came across the church. The priest's wife came out to greet us. On realising that we were English, she kept repeating the lysterious word: 'looburoo! looburroo!', and then 'looburroo! ooneevairrrsit!' What were the odds that she'd stumbles upon a former Loughborough University student? To cut a long story short - a good time was had by all. Seems she had a son over there. Possibly. (Actually, definitely. The priest returned after a while and his English was excellent. Great beard, too.)

And then there's the time when, arriving at Glasgow airport for a 6am flight, I was accosted by an unfortunate USAnian couple who'd just got off a flight. 'Where do we get the bus for Ammelwich'. What were their odds of finding someone in Glasgow airport who not only knew that Amlwch is on Anglesea, but also knew what trains to take? Their charlatan of a travel agent had assured them that Glasgow was pretty close. (Well...Wales must be in Scotland, musn't it?)

Well, by North American standards, they are pretty close. Ask anyone who's driven from Houston to Amarillo. They're real close to each other.

My dear husband still takes the pss out of me for pronouncing Market Rasen the posh way (Rah-zen) instead of the real way (Ray-zen). Look, I'm a poofy southerner, OK?

Exeter used to be pronounced EGG-zedderrrrrr when I lived there - by the chap who did the announcements at St David's station, anyway.

And Althorp (Northants) is definitely pronounced "Althorp" by everybody who lives near it - and, it seems, "Althrop" by the chap who lives in it (although this did change at one point and I think the official BBC pronounciation is back to "Althorp" (you will have to read this post v carefully to spot the difference )). Just down the road from Althorp is another stately home and village, Holdenby - pronounced Holmby.

Mol

Althorp/ Althrop: In-breeding amongst the Spencer clan may have given rise to dyslexia. It would hardly be their only genetic shortcoming.