A Conversation for Ask h2g2

Can burglars swim?

Post 1

Orcus

Hi, I just received delightful news from my local canal trust (Birmingham UK) that the disused and filled in canal behind my backgarden is going to be soon restored. This is fantastic news as far as i'm concerned but amonsgs the various leaflets I received in a section entitled "Will it make a difference" there is the intriguing sentence

"For adjoining residents, the Canal will add to the general security of their properties, as most burglars cannot swim"

smiley - laugh

Is this true? smiley - erm I suspect this is utter tosh but it amused me - I wonder what others think.

I'm having visions of burglars trying to swim away with my TV under their arm! smiley - wow


Can burglars swim?

Post 2

Wand'rin star

Cat burglars certainly don't like getting wet smiley - smiley


Can burglars swim?

Post 3

Pink Paisley

I suppose that the sentence was left unfinished.

I am sure that under most circumstances most burglars can swim. But carrying your TV, video and microowave?

I'd like to see that.

PP


Can burglars swim?

Post 4

Pink Paisley

I'd like to spell check that.

PP


Can burglars swim?

Post 5

Wand'rin star

Actually I think the original statement is possibly true. Do we know what proportion of the whole population can swim? smiley - star


Can burglars swim?

Post 6

Pink Paisley

We can all at least float. Would that count as swimming if a floating body drifted in the wind?

PP


Can burglars swim?

Post 7

Orcus

No I don't but they seem to forget that there will also be a towpath so they will not need to swim. It does seem to be somewhat of a generalisation don't you think? If it is true I'd like to see some evidence.

So in fact, at the moment I have an overgrown disused piece of waste ground over my back fence which is pretty much impenetrable unless one possesses a machete and they're going to build a path making access in fact much easier.

As I said though - I am delighted by this - in the end it's going to raise the value of my house considerably and having a working canal at the back is going to be lovely - I might even help out with the restoration. smiley - ok


Can burglars swim?

Post 8

You can call me TC

Yes - just imagine buying a sofa and asking them to deliver it by barge! (With police escort, of course, against all these burglars - maybe a coastguard, in case a burglar tries to swim and can't)


Can burglars swim?

Post 9

Is mise Duncan

When I went on the canal trip from Brindley place (which I recommend) the safety advice in the event of falling overboard was...to stand up. It seems the canals are only about 4 feet deep for much of Brum.


Can burglars swim?

Post 10

Gnomon - time to move on

Your burglars will be able to escape in gondolas!


Can burglars swim?

Post 11

Munchkin

You could get one of those Rover rubber ball things from the prisoner to guard your stretch smiley - smiley


Can burglars swim?

Post 12

Orcus

'When I went on the canal trip from Brindley place ' That depends on which direction you go in Duncan - try heading towards Dudley. Lovely Brindley place soon turns into mothballed factory wasteland with the attracitve addition of stray dogs, sleeping tramps and drug addicts shooting up.
Go in the direction of Bournville however... smiley - ok

smiley - erm Muchkin - you are referring to the prisoner I presume.

So, to sum up so far I'm safe from 3 foot tall burglars whove never been down the swimming baths.
*wipes forehead in relief* smiley - winkeye


Can burglars swim?

Post 13

Pink Paisley

Who are not experienced gondola thiefs.

PP


Can burglars swim?

Post 14

Pink Paisley

Thieves. (B*gg*r).

PP


Can burglars swim?

Post 15

Rainbow

Surely this will open up a whole new opportunity for your local deliquents....no-one is going to nick your hi-fi and then swim away with it. No, first they'll "take and drive away" a motor boat (know to you and I as stealing), zoom up to your house, load up the boat and disappear into off into the wild blue yonder (or brown yonder depending on the colour of the canal).

But look on the bright side, at least it will give your local plod an excuse to purchase a nice, smart speed boat to whizz around in!!


Can burglars swim?

Post 16

Orcus

Will we get James Bond style motor boat chases do you think?


Can burglars swim?

Post 17

Rainbow

A possibility but not a probability - so you can dispel any thoughts of wet,scantily clad 'Bond Girls' racing into your house at midnight begging for assistance!!


Can burglars swim?

Post 18

Orcus

Oh, they do *that* already! smiley - winkeye


Can burglars swim?

Post 19

Munchkin

I was indeed referring to the TV programme The Prisoner. It dawns on me, that if there is all this opportunity for water born crime, you should get in on the ground floor. I recommend purchasing a small dingy, a skull and cross bones flag and a plastic, self adhesive parrot. Then you could sail the mighty waves, raping, pillaging and sinking, with a horde of under utilised youths at your command for land raids. Then, of course, when you get a bit tired you could nip home for a cup of tea, without any of that, finding a bit of empty quay side malarkey, normally required on the high seas.


Can burglars swim?

Post 20

Orcus

Ooh no, wouldn't want to tread on Pierce the smiley - pirate's turf smiley - yikes


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