A Conversation for Ask h2g2
Can burglars swim?
Orcus Started conversation Aug 24, 2001
Hi, I just received delightful news from my local canal trust (Birmingham UK) that the disused and filled in canal behind my backgarden is going to be soon restored. This is fantastic news as far as i'm concerned but amonsgs the various leaflets I received in a section entitled "Will it make a difference" there is the intriguing sentence
"For adjoining residents, the Canal will add to the general security of their properties, as most burglars cannot swim"
Is this true? I suspect this is utter tosh but it amused me - I wonder what others think.
I'm having visions of burglars trying to swim away with my TV under their arm!
Can burglars swim?
Pink Paisley Posted Aug 24, 2001
I suppose that the sentence was left unfinished.
I am sure that under most circumstances most burglars can swim. But carrying your TV, video and microowave?
I'd like to see that.
PP
Can burglars swim?
Wand'rin star Posted Aug 24, 2001
Actually I think the original statement is possibly true. Do we know what proportion of the whole population can swim?
Can burglars swim?
Pink Paisley Posted Aug 24, 2001
We can all at least float. Would that count as swimming if a floating body drifted in the wind?
PP
Can burglars swim?
Orcus Posted Aug 24, 2001
No I don't but they seem to forget that there will also be a towpath so they will not need to swim. It does seem to be somewhat of a generalisation don't you think? If it is true I'd like to see some evidence.
So in fact, at the moment I have an overgrown disused piece of waste ground over my back fence which is pretty much impenetrable unless one possesses a machete and they're going to build a path making access in fact much easier.
As I said though - I am delighted by this - in the end it's going to raise the value of my house considerably and having a working canal at the back is going to be lovely - I might even help out with the restoration.
Can burglars swim?
You can call me TC Posted Aug 24, 2001
Yes - just imagine buying a sofa and asking them to deliver it by barge! (With police escort, of course, against all these burglars - maybe a coastguard, in case a burglar tries to swim and can't)
Can burglars swim?
Is mise Duncan Posted Aug 24, 2001
When I went on the canal trip from Brindley place (which I recommend) the safety advice in the event of falling overboard was...to stand up. It seems the canals are only about 4 feet deep for much of Brum.
Can burglars swim?
Gnomon - time to move on Posted Aug 24, 2001
Your burglars will be able to escape in gondolas!
Can burglars swim?
Orcus Posted Aug 24, 2001
'When I went on the canal trip from Brindley place ' That depends on which direction you go in Duncan - try heading towards Dudley. Lovely Brindley place soon turns into mothballed factory wasteland with the attracitve addition of stray dogs, sleeping tramps and drug addicts shooting up.
Go in the direction of Bournville however...
Muchkin - you are referring to the prisoner I presume.
So, to sum up so far I'm safe from 3 foot tall burglars whove never been down the swimming baths.
*wipes forehead in relief*
Can burglars swim?
Rainbow Posted Aug 24, 2001
Surely this will open up a whole new opportunity for your local deliquents....no-one is going to nick your hi-fi and then swim away with it. No, first they'll "take and drive away" a motor boat (know to you and I as stealing), zoom up to your house, load up the boat and disappear into off into the wild blue yonder (or brown yonder depending on the colour of the canal).
But look on the bright side, at least it will give your local plod an excuse to purchase a nice, smart speed boat to whizz around in!!
Can burglars swim?
Orcus Posted Aug 24, 2001
Will we get James Bond style motor boat chases do you think?
Can burglars swim?
Rainbow Posted Aug 24, 2001
A possibility but not a probability - so you can dispel any thoughts of wet,scantily clad 'Bond Girls' racing into your house at midnight begging for assistance!!
Can burglars swim?
Munchkin Posted Aug 24, 2001
I was indeed referring to the TV programme The Prisoner. It dawns on me, that if there is all this opportunity for water born crime, you should get in on the ground floor. I recommend purchasing a small dingy, a skull and cross bones flag and a plastic, self adhesive parrot. Then you could sail the mighty waves, raping, pillaging and sinking, with a horde of under utilised youths at your command for land raids. Then, of course, when you get a bit tired you could nip home for a cup of tea, without any of that, finding a bit of empty quay side malarkey, normally required on the high seas.
Key: Complain about this post
Can burglars swim?
- 1: Orcus (Aug 24, 2001)
- 2: Wand'rin star (Aug 24, 2001)
- 3: Pink Paisley (Aug 24, 2001)
- 4: Pink Paisley (Aug 24, 2001)
- 5: Wand'rin star (Aug 24, 2001)
- 6: Pink Paisley (Aug 24, 2001)
- 7: Orcus (Aug 24, 2001)
- 8: You can call me TC (Aug 24, 2001)
- 9: Is mise Duncan (Aug 24, 2001)
- 10: Gnomon - time to move on (Aug 24, 2001)
- 11: Munchkin (Aug 24, 2001)
- 12: Orcus (Aug 24, 2001)
- 13: Pink Paisley (Aug 24, 2001)
- 14: Pink Paisley (Aug 24, 2001)
- 15: Rainbow (Aug 24, 2001)
- 16: Orcus (Aug 24, 2001)
- 17: Rainbow (Aug 24, 2001)
- 18: Orcus (Aug 24, 2001)
- 19: Munchkin (Aug 24, 2001)
- 20: Orcus (Aug 24, 2001)
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