h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Tut! You can't be bothered to write Rolf's name for 2 pages? Call yourself a devoted fan? *looks disgusted*

And, you notice how there was absolutly no mention of Basildon? Or Hedgehogs? or the mighty worrier Nighthoover: saviour of the universe, thoughting the evil macherations of Vaccuman, the sworn enemy of all vogonity: vote Tortelvis

Evel Vaccuman, BOO HISS

He's behind you!! Oh no he isn't, oh yes he is!

(sorry, tis the season an all that.)

I rolfed for two pages once.. Then I rolfed for an equary, and understudy and a footman. I had my didgeredoo out by the time that Prince Phillip cornered me in the library. I confused him with my wobble board, however, and made off with a tea cosy.

The artist formularly known as 2legs no longer exists:
I am Vaccuman, and have taken over his earthly form (well, unearthly form..., obay me and kneel before your new master: and foresake Nighthoover.
You will be vaccumed, hoovering is futile.

Hold it right there Vaccuman...
What have you done with 2Legs?
I.. mild mannered Pod.. am in fact Electro-Lux...
Surrender now, or face my dust!

*Vaccuman staggers back in shock!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/A670259

Now I think is the right time to reveal my true identity.... *rips off disguise to reveal twin cyclones* (no comments please) Stand back vacuuman, I'm Dy.

Oh no, can it be but I am, I am oh ************** Oh dear, and what a duel cyclone it is but but, I I no, can it be, I am the true ruler of the small space at the back of pieces of furnature, created as a result of the skurting board being prode of the wall by half an inch, therefore having the consequence of preventing furnature, such as wall units, from sitting flush with the wall
but

*Vaccuman runs off......

Once again the world is safe and I can redistribute all this wealth that vaccuman had collected *takes collection of small, loose change, 3 buttons, an old biro and an elastic band from vacuuman's hideaway*

*giggles:

*Vaccuman rips off vaccuman-cape to reaveal::


Dust-buster-boy!

Is that your nosel attachment or ...................... I'm sorry, I couldn't bring myself to even finish that sentence, I'm soo ashamed of myself *shakes head in disgust* I can't help it, I'm a dirt

*giggles:
But, have you forgotten: Dust-buster-boy has his evil companion:::

The Wirlwind!

(the first ever vaccume cleaner invented by a Chicago inventor in the 1860's)

::Clouds part, rays of sunshine beam down, choir in the background::

*In rushes a masked Avenging Washcloth*

Yes, and you would be right there 2legs!!!! But it was an unweildy preponderance until 1907, when James Murray Spangler, a janitor in a Canton, Ohio department store, deduced that the carpet sweeper he used was the source of his cough. He tinkered with an old fan motor and attached it to a soap box stapled to a broom handle. Using a pillow case as a dust collector on the contraption, Spangler invented the first portable electric vacuum cleaner. He improved the basic model, received a patent in 1908, and formed the Electric Suction Sweeper Company. One of the first buyers was a cousin, whose husband, William H. Hoover, later became the president of the Hoover Company, with Spangler as superintendent. Hoover’s improvements resembled a bagpipe attached to a cake box, but they worked. Sluggish sales were given a kick by Hoover’s 10 day, free home trial, and eventually there was a Hoover® vacuum cleaner in nearly every home.

And I, the Avenging Washcloth, am from the Land of Hoover......and all things Hooverable....(North) Canton, Ohio, USA!!!!!! Ha! hahahahaaaaaaa! *evil snicker*

Howdy, everybody!!!!!



::exits, stage left::

Latest Count

Liv Tyler - 19
George Formby - 19
Rolf Harris - 2
The Ukelele - 1
George Foreman - 1
Al Gore - 1
Will Hay - 1
Bill Clinton - 1

I've held off adding Lextuss vote until I'm certain of for whom the vote was cast. Was it for George or Rolf? (Personally hoping that Rolf gets the nod)

And who will you be voting for oh (masked) Avenging Washcloth?

::low muffled whisper::

Aside: How ever did you reckonize me, Evil one? Perhaps I need a better mask.


::bold superhero voice, yet never manly::

Wait!
Wilst I ponder this imponderable thingy...

::swoops away to study videos of candidate debates and small newspaper clippings::

This post has been removed.

Vote Rolf.
Unless you wish to vote George Formby, in which case, vote George Formby.
Alternativly you may wish to consider voting for the outersiders: Tortelvis, Winstone Blubberhouse, or, yes, the person themself; Nighthoover *all pray.
Obviously the choice is yours, but choose carefully, and be choiceful in your care.
Of course there is always Rolf Harris, or George Formby, who will both represent good votes, but likewise, who could regard a vote for Nighthoover as anything apart from sarcastic?
And, would a vote for either Winstone Blubberhouse or Tortelvis, help answer questions regarding why they are even in this thread?
And, will, in consideration of voting, will the contents of the thread, or the origional tittle itself, be the governence uppermost in our thoughts?
Obviously, as in every time, and in every Universe, it is at times like this, of great inner struggle, that we can often turn to seak an inner force, an eternal sacred force that may show us the light: in which case, Nighthoover would seem a most inappropiate choice, and therefore as one has previously not spoken to say, rolf and george, and live and will and tortelvis and others, shall remain aas alternative choices for only so long as a choice is not arrived at and that furthermore in everlasting intelectual confedance, this shall be as unto your goal of that we all must find, but yet can never search for in the undoubting march of our endless march foward, which doesn't in itself help rectify the situeation, but which may, through the fullness of time help facilitate a realisation of what that it is that a vote cast can diverge to teh onset of the inception of all that which hasn't, or at least, but perhaps more than, may not be said to reside therein.
Nighthoover.
winstone blubberhouse
Tortelvis
rolf
george
will
formby
live
archua
Derametries
might help... Nighthoover so, moderated? any particular reason: or has a blasmophy against the one, true saviour of the Universe, proven one pickled egg too far for some one, any one, who one, can one, should one: wasn't there something I should be remembering about tomorrow morning/
?
No, not vaccuman, for not withstanding the dilusion thus created by the inception of such as can only said to be untrueth, then can catch frog spawn.

Are we using standard, pre-dimpled punch card ballots? That's what I'm used to, you know. As an American, my vote won't be able to be determined or calculated for some months, perhaps years.

Hmmm. Liv Tyler...not my type, too female. George Formby....utterly repugnant, but ya gotta admire a man with a firm grip on his ukulele...and he's dead, an improvement over American political candidates...hmmm, still pondering. Must research Rolf Harris. Nighthoover is a mystery, let us pray.

Is Sam Neill in the running? Drool...he plays the ukulele.

I'm still undecided at this juncture...when do the poles close in my time slot?

Oh, and thanks, 2legs, for your inspirational input. I think. *blink*