h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

As an appendage of the Petty Hates thread, what would the characteristics be of the most annoying person imaginable?

My two cents:

Says "another day, another dollar" every morning at work.

Says "the weekend soon goes, doesn't it?" every monday morning - without fail.

Says "I'm happy with what the Good Lord gave me"

Thinks "Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps" is the funniest sitcom of the last decade.

Says: "no really, you got to hear this story about what happened last week " (and the week before that etc....)

Says "End of." during every single argument that takes place over the telephone

Send technical work emails to everyone in the office, not just the people who need to know that information, and then when a lowly clerical assistant deletes said email without reading it ringing her to ask why - BECAUSE IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME YOU IRRITATING LITTLE MAN!

Says: "Aww you shouldn't have" when you give them a gift.

Forgets your birthday.

Walks away rather than have an arguement/discussion.

Says: "Whatever" and follows that with a hand in front of your face.

Doesn't phone or text after you've offered both numbers.

Pulls a face just as you take a photo.

Doesn't return that DVD or book they "borrowed".

Is Lord Wolfden.

RF

Damn! Almost made it!

Lay off the guy. He's been behaving now for a while.

I think Alan Milburn's parents got there first

Footbacon, you've been talking to foxy on the phone?

The most annoying person imaginable:
whines;
is convinced that nothing is ever their fault;
is constantly snarky and snippy to other people;
sighs and rolls their eyes a lot when other people are talking;
assumes that *your* job is easy and anyone could do it;
says things like:
"Of course *I* could have told you that but no one ever listens to *me*!
"If you don't know what's wrong there's no point explaining it!"


Azara

Good ones, Azara

Not to forget the character who likes telling you how much money they have, where they are going to send the children to school (and how much it's going to cost), what all their problems are with their second house in Spain, trys to involve co-workers in a decision whether to buy the '05 BMW or Mercedes...

Not that I'm jealous, or anything

Someone who says something like "you're not seriously going to eat that - don't you know what goes into it?" just before you munch into your favourite food...

An extremely annoying bloke:
Homophobic, sexist and racist, and proud of it.
Will look hurt when told off about the above, but won't mend his ways.
Think he's God's gift to women and as a result will accuse any woman who doesn't want to sleep with him of being a lesbian.
Will insult people with different taste in music to him, but will be offended if anybody insults *his* taste in music.
Always gets to work late and leaves early, but won't be fired because he's good mates with the boss.

Somebody who consistently breaks wind and always does it with a loud, wet squelchy sound then laughs.

Assumes moral and intellectual high ground, but then moves his lips when he reads!

Oh sorry, that's someone I know!

Mr Dreadful has done a good job of creating the world's most annoying person but I think the finishing touch has to be insulting people in the street. I've had several annoying people make unsolicited comments about my weight in the street - unlike "who ate all the pies" - ok mate if you going to be a complete bleeper at least be original that way you might actually be funny. He's also have to have at least one of the inbelievable annoying mobile ring tones - prefering lots that he samples through a selection of in public - someone did this in a pub once I wanted to kill them.

They would drive around playing their atrocitus music at full volume in the summer and to really cap it off they would have to spout their bigotted views loudly in public like a manic street preacher on the bus last night choose to in front of one of my work collegues. Who eventually lost his patience and told the guy to eff off.

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Hate people who do that.

Also he should be the sort of person who screams "freak" or "queer" out of his cars window whenever he goes past someone who looks 'different'