h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Nope. Just regular chocolate brownies. I think walnuts are optional. Some people don't like walnuts and some people are allergic, you know? I happen to like walnuts in my brownies.

Really? I like chocolate chips, but that can be a bit sickly sometimes; walnuts sounds nice actually, I might try ...

Stop it! This is not politics, dammit!

Oh, come now, Trin. The spinners and the nominees have all gone to bed. Have some of our brownies whilst we wait for them to awake and divide us...

And some cider too. Drink some cider.

Brownies and cider - there are worse ways to pass an all too brief lull in the campaigning

Good. Sit down and tell us of your journeys. And eat some brownies. Remember, you're among friends

Good My journeys? I went to the supermarket yesterday, but not a lot happened. I may have to go back again tomorrow - then again, now I have brownies and cider, maybe I won't have to.

Other than that, not a lot of journeying recently - how about yourself?

Have you eaten your brownies and cider yet? If so, you can have more.

I have been on a great moral crusade for justice and tolerance and back, today. And I got a haircut.

That's certainly worth toasting ... with cider.

My head's started itching now Not that keen on haircuts myself.

You know what'll help that? Eat all your brownies. Gobble them down and then let me know so I can get you more.

Blimey *gulp* Well, I've finished that lot - they are very good.

You swallowed a contract which firmly states that by swallowing it, you agree to vote for Hypatia as your first preference and to help smash the ReddyFreddy hegemony.

No dirty tricks, of course... our campaign is against those. Just a remarkable coincidence that you, noted to be the open-mouthed and under-swallowed, swallowed it

Here, have some to wash that down.

I've swallowed a contract. But *hurgh* I'm allergic *hewurgh* to contracts.

I surely can't have signed it?

You're allergic to contracts? Who's allergic to contracts?

Pah.

I am, I tell you! Look - a rash! Oh no, that's just crumbs.

Well, I still haven't signed it. I can't have done, unless I've also swallowed a pen and a very small witness. Mind you, one of the walnuts in that last one was quite pointy. I think it was a walnut

There's somebody witnessing my colon sign a contract in my gastro-intestinal tract! It's not fair!

The Contract clearly stated that by swallowing it, you affirm that the signature that was already on the contract *ahem* was yours.

As I said (somewhere), I have eyes and ears everywhere.

So I'm legally obliged to vote for Hypatia? And I have to smash the Reddyfreddy hegemony? But I *am* the Reddyfreddy hegemony! Well, a bit of it. I can't smash myself, can I? Where would I sleep? How would my shoes stay on?

Wait, you're admitting to being a hegemony? Yikes, that might not go over well with your base

The main point, though, is that I could sue you for your vote at any time.

Hang on - you told me it was a secret ballot Which means ... that ... yes, I will vote for Hypatia. Of course I will. Yeah. Sure.

Oh, excellent Because I'm pretty sure it's not a secret ballot after all - F2576505?thread=1082595&latest=1#p12060091

Shall I add your name to our list of supporters? Remember, you're contractually obligated.

No - the contract obliges me only to vote for Hypatia, not to pledge that vote prior to election day, nor do I have to announce my intentions. I've read the small print and I checked. How I read the small print, I'm not prepared to tell you.

Now, about the smashing. Will it hurt?