h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

At Uni we always used to claim we had been abducted by aliens. You go out for a quiet night with some friends and then wake up on your bed, still clothed, with no money, a terrible sore head and pains where you have no reason to have them. So, either alien abduction or a mugging.

I am glad I am doing my little bit for my German hosts. They do have a sense of humour, not all based on slapstick. My work over the last quarter century has not been in vain. Mind you, only a couple of years ago did they actually finishing dubbing all the Monty Python programmes. And made a right hash of it. The puns, the puns.

The stereotypical view of British Humour does not fare much better: Benny Hill, the Carry-on Films and those two tailors (names?). Of course, there is so much more to humour in Britain, (Dinner Ladies, Ab Fab, Have I Got News for You), but it is the bums and breasts that stick in the mind.

Mel Smith and Griff Rhys-Jones did a wonderful sketch on one of their shows. Dressed as the Two Ronnies, they sang a song in which the entire chorus consisted of "rude words", delivered at breath-taking speed. Condensed smut.

I'm sure I speak for the entire H2G2 community when I wish you a speedy triumph in the battle against your bum and breast fixation .

Or should I say, Bottle and Bristols, since this is the British English thread.

Whats bristal got to do with anything???

ok ok so the pun was pathetic Ime sorry

Is Bristol short for the rhyming slang Bristol City, or have I just made that up?

I believe you've got the rhyme correct.

In that case, why Bristol? Why not Manchester or one of the other **** City soccer clubs?

Isn't Bristol on a hill?

Part of it is (like the posh bit of Clifton and the downs). Most of the city centre is built around the flat ground near the river/docks. Tis a lovely place in my opinion.

"Isn't Bristol on a hill?"

I'm trying to think of a harbour that's on a hill, and failing miserably.
I suppose that if it were at the bottom of the hill, it could be said to be "on a hill".
H'mmm.

"Why Bristol?"
Could it be connected with "Ship shape and Bristol fashion" in some way.
Or (Trade name, same as a white rabbit) Bristol Cream:
"Are you supposed to drink it or rub it in?"

Sorry.

Is it really Cockneys who invent all this rhyming slang?

The comedian Peter Cook devised a Fisherman's Rhyming Slang, which had such phrases as Fisherman's Fly for dry and Fisherman's Net for wet. Like all such rhyming slang, the second word tended to be omitted, leading fishermen to engage in conversations as follows: "It's a bit fisherman's, today!"

He also used the phrase Fisherman's Wharf to describe Dudley Moore.

Cockneys and the late Peter Cook. Anyone else?

I have been known to make up the odd item myself, but of course I wouldn't do it on this thread - much.

Okay, here's my contribution - place-name rhyming slang for BET (The Sequel) regulars:

Boston = Wandrin' Star

Wimbledon = Gnomon

Brighton = Trillian's Child

Solsbury = Phil (aka 'Other Person')

Fort William = plaguesville

Indiana = DJ

Kingston = Nikki-D

Penrith = Munchkin

Newtown = Mycroft

Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateapokaiwhenuakitanatahu = Mustapha

Look, it was a struggle, so don't complain!

Well I managed to follow your logic on one or two of those K

My car, which could previously be called a banger is now a wreck. Big time MOT faliure. This lead me to thinking about some suitably descriptive words for it now (yes most of them would be moderated )

Wreck and Hulk are used to describe ships but where do these works come from (not having an index does make it hard to see what terms have and haven't been discussed here already )

I think 'previously enjoyed' is the current parlance!