h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

mmmm! football failures mmmm! therefore! like businesses failures etc they'll be due for a bonus then

Cynic

Websailor

70 odd thousand £ wages per weekfor kicking a beach ball makes my £74 per week a tad lowfor just existingI'm a true cynic

Ah, you get paid more for being worth money than you do for being worth a life...

The beauty of economics. Money is more important than people.

That aside, my boyfriend didn't sleep last night he was so upset by what the performance says about the state of the game in this country (i.e. old fashioned views and attitudes, lack of change and innovation from the top etc).

there's no real incentives for our sports stars any more - they still get paid mega, win or lose

Apparently it's deeper than that. I'm informed by my expert that from the youngest players up, we're teaching a style of football that's out of date and that the FA refuse to change it. Or to allow anyone else to change it. So we're bringing a smallish group of young players into a world of international football that's around fifteen years more evolved than what they are being taught.

The dutch youth system is prolific, well funded and moves with the times apparently, and ours just isn't. Our players get passed over for cheaper imports from abroad, and we dont export ours...

Hm.

I care about |-----| much. I think we should subsidise horse riding lessons for the mad. Much better use of the money.

how about world class tiddly winksnot a lot of costs there

You don't need a lot of outlay to play football- you need a football (obviously!), somewhere to play it and four jumpers for goalposts. Initial outlay less than £20?

It's only when the corporate element gets factored in that the cost spirals.

You'll see- Tiddlywinks, sponsored by Ginsters. They tiddlywinkers will be demanding a nice cushion to kneel on, Robinson's Barley Water at half time, a microwave to warm their pies up in...

monogrammed winks

Blinged up Ferrari to get you to the Tiddlywink training ground...

chauffeur driven of courseone has standards you know in the circles of world tiddlywinks

Oh, of course. And don't forget the trophy wife/mistress/tv presenter girlfriend, one simply must keep up with current trends

I must say, this tiddlywinks is getting more appealing by the minute.

I agree on all your points

can someone cut my meat for meI don't want to sprain my tiddling finger

Do you get a theme tune to walk on and off to, and do you get accompanied by two orange sticks with overly large breasts and some blonde stuff on top?

nowho cares about music anyway

I also want an embroidered satin dressing gown with a HUGE cowl.

In dark gree with red trim.

It will of course say

Robyn 'not my real name' Hoode with an arrow motif...

Gosh, how corrupt you all are!! I don't care though, I've decided to become an agent to tiddlywink players everywhere!

I'll manipulate the press, make sure you're photographed in all the right places, spread gossip about you all (well, it's better to be in the papers than not, even if it's for the wrong reasons), I'll get you the best possible wage- even if you aren't really worth it, and at the end of your career I'll get you a spot on "World of Winks", the new Setanta sports show dedicated to winking and all it's glory!

And all that for just 15%.

12.5%

DONE!!

And you have been!!

so have you... 12.5% of 0 is???