h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Posting on HooToo, whilst crawling about at the back of the PC, with a cable in hand, pluggin in a MIDI cable and scratching my head and changing 'settings'

Surely that takes up all your available limbs. So what are you using to masturbate with?

anything he can find

Probably a pickled onion then.

behind a computer?

I have a small Dwarf I rescued from the orphanage to help with the masterbation

Where else? Pickled onions can be used anywhere - that's what makes them both the ultimate foodstuff and the ultimate love toy.

Fiar doos - pickled onions have nothing on small dwarves.

Everyone should have there own small Dwarf... they're useful for picking up things when you drop then, and for polishing your shoes, and turning off plug sockets at night. The sexual exploitation of them is in no way endorsed... but thats why I picked this one out of the orphanage... he's in to that kinda thing...

I still hold with lawn gnomes.

Yeh... they're useful too ... I is about to go out I might take my orphaned dwarves with me... they could help with the ten pin bowling.... if we needed extra pins anyhow

Wondering if I can procrastinate further on the housework and recording...

well .... I got up early today as I went to bed a bit earlier than normal thus far I've drank coffee and smoked... and done all the washing up in the kitchen, which was all* the lodgers bluddy stuff move on to housework proper in a while... honest recording will then be later on probably

Morning Leggsy - you cool this fine morning...?

Well I got up before 9 AM been pottering round since then off out to9 the pub tonight I thinks so will have to get a move on soon to get some stuff done before then.... going to cook up all the out of date (nearly) discounted sausages I bought yesterday in a little while... probably have a couple for lunch, and the rest cold or reheated later

Groovy man

Its a lifestyle choice based on sound financial reasoning... : I'd have a crap pension if I ever lived that long... so I might as well max it out in the meantimes I must* remember to pick up my jacket tonight which I left there whilst < on Friday

you've got to keep better track of your clothing old bean - tie it to your person

NAaa too much hastle... I'll just start going out 'au natural'

gets camera ready