h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*stacks sandbags with grenades around the bases, inexplicably avoiding gunfire, bombs and all that jazz*

*helps*

*brings in steel beams and a mountable laser turret*

*sets up laser turret*

*starts building a small fort-like wall around turret and jodan's construction*

*large metal doors close, trapping Jodan.*

nice one Jodan - you try to attack our base from a army cell. too abd you didn't realise that our cells are inpenitrable, and they have the stamps on the boxes to prove it!

*correction: Jodan AND Wonko!

he he he!

*jabs open doors with utility *

Well they said the Titanic was unsinkable...

*grenades go off, slightly hurting the building's paint job*

its outside the base...*scornful noise*

plus the laser can melt the door

the whole island is our base, you just don't know it!

*automatic machine guns fire at intruders.*

you see, the terranic army, in abttle mode, labels all new threads created by anyonebut the army leader a threat and creates an automatic defense threat. the only way to truly battle terranic soldiers and to avoid the automatic defenses is to attack one of the already created threads. thereby breaking into the base, and battling against the army soldiers.

spook - dam i wish that ugly gas hadn't worn off you. you look horrible!

*a huge JVC comes hurtling onto the scene at warp 3 and digs a complex network of tunnels and bunkers for the Terranic army to use*

ah ha! now you will never defeat us Mwaha! Mwahahaha! Mwahahahahahahaha!....where is everyone

All Your Bases Belong To Us.

Deal with it.

training mentally!

*destroys JVC*

Don't ask how

*Calls Thingite Satellite in to turn off all computer, TV and general technological access inside the base*

*bows to the great Warlord*

Clive!

actually Clive you ahev claimed nothing. wake up from your sleep!

We are a powerful force spook!

*sticks Thingite flag in this thread*

*captures the flag.*

so - 'ner'.

*activates the aeronautical defense grid which scrambles the satallites signals and bounces them back. turning the satallite into a floating heap of turned off electronics*

the JVC's job was done anyway

*launches mortar fire at thingite stronghold*

*petrol bombs the thingite flag*

*puts out the flames*

*keeps on running.*

We don't have a stronghold, silly.

And the flag was laminated, pressed and flame resistant. And scotch guarded.