h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I moved house in four days. Thats from getting the paperwork to closing the front door last night! The dining room is full of boxes! We caught the kittens but the cat scarpered.Miracles ,I found all the childrens school bags and Uniform and all my cd and books plus miscellaneous wrapped plates and spoons.What is all the other stuffi think theres been some breeding going on in my loft. Anyway its done and I'm just off to change my address everywhere I am so happy as the last house we lived in was horrendous and I used to dread going home!!! La La La Te tum te tum te tum.

did you found all the children?

Good for you Lady L! So is everything usefull packed up and you have to open every box for the tin opener?

Liam.

Make sure you safely pack away your hundredweight of jazz golden virginia. Wouldn't want the hired helpers getting all slack on the job.

Are you still inhabiting the Wezt Country or are you moving to pazturez new?

When are you moving to Sweden? I hope you will have more time to post from there because frankly lately standards have dropped.Heads will roll if things don't improve I gotta tell ya.I haven't heard the word manifold on any radio or tv reports lately even on channel five so why don't you come out of the closet and admit you are really only a caddy at some small badly maintained public golf links?

Will be moved into my flat on August 18th, not sure about an internet connection out there, recently heard that it has been cancelled, but hoping something will have been sorted out in the flats by then.

Oh so you are really going then? *ROFL then gets up and looks ,then *
Now look what you have done!! *continues to for quite some time then reaches the hiccupping stage*

Should be great fun,shouldn't it? What exactly will you be doing in Malmo? I see you assidiously ignored my brief and rather sketchy history of the Bernadotte dynasty.One can only scatter the seeds...I won't be on-line much soon because of the dear childrens school holidays.

If you want the kids out of your hair all summer long (fail-safe I guarantee!) start working now. Feed them deep fried horse meat. 6 times a day. Feed it to them, covered with butter and sugar. Keep feeding it to them, then pack them off to fat camp. It's what I'd do.

Yip, I really am going, currently sorting out some money issues. I am off to begin stage one of my world domination strategy. I aim to be the head of one of the most important DGs in Brussels within a short period.

I shall take over Europe, close down the Sun. Float England towards the North Pole and walk around the whole country (like Botham) playing the hits of The Vengaboys on a penny whistle, leading the assorted scum to their deaths off Beachy Head.

Peace!

Forward friend and let perspex be your watchword.I don't know what a DG is but its got two Capital letters in it so it must be important.Steer clear of Antwerp though I once got stuck there and spent four jolly hours sitting on a fountain and waiting for someones Aunt to drive over the border to collect us.Avoiding the attentions of the very armed Belgian Police was the main problem who seemed very interested in my not having my little visitors passport with me. ...Oh do wake up! The rest of the story includes Lou Reed and a woman giving birth at a festival.
If you get bored next winter in Sveden I'll tell you the one about the german lady in the squat, that one involves van Morrison.


Incidentally i am thinking of doing a piece on 'Step Dwellers' the council estate families who spend most of their time crowded into their front garden watching everyone.What think you?

Sounds good. Did you see the Scouser on Kilroy today? A severe bout of food poisoning has enabled me to watch my beloved daytime TV for a change. Scum family. Scum family. Aaaaah.

Scribbens, I needs money desperate like. Lend me £10000. I'll let you live when I take over the world with Dubya and 'Cheeky' Berlusconi. They'll not spot my left wing agenda, I shall wear a thick cotton truss to disguise it.

Oooh, I do hope Berlusconi gets a spot on the World Service. We could do with some of his lightening wit and intellect.

Rev - your agenda is showing.

Liam.

Oops, a stray teste!

"B*****k Jeremy"

Liam.

ooh I hate it when you do that. Because I just don't understand what you are talking about.Not really. When I get to heaven I'm going to be male one day and female the next. On Thursdays if they still have 'em I will be a headlice and once a month I will play jazz trumpet and wear a zoot suit.

Lady L.

leave those anoyancee in freezer

"when I get to heaven"

Riiiggghhht.

Liam.